Patience ARGHHH!

[Copespo]

Hey guys, whats up...
Well Im in Europe on my "vacation", its nice over here...but I just lose my patience when it comes to returning back home and getting my last 500 bucks for surgery.... Every day I look into the mirror and feel sick when I look at my chest.... God I never knew something can have such an impact on a person, like the other day I was in a total depression, all my friends were worried. The whole day I said like 3 words, I kind of feel like that every day, living with this crap. Everyone is going to the beach in a few weeks, I cant go, I would love to, but I cant.... On top of that everyone who sees me is telling me "Hey u got bigger then u were last time I saw u" kind of screws up my confidence, since they all think I got fat....I just worked out hard for a year....

Im on a diet now, I weigh in at 185lb....I think thats okay for a 6'0, 20 year old male... Im trying to get to 154lb by september...I have been on a diet for the past 2 months or so, I lost lots of fat around my stomach area, but for some reason the more I diet the more it seems like I am stuck at 185lb...any suggestions.?.. Like I started to eat 5 meals a day, but not whole meals, more like snacks.... apples, bananas, no sugar cereals with lots of fruits in it....But still I am stuck at 185, cant move...I also cut out all fatty food, and sodas and sugar drinks...I think lots of water, like 14 glasses a day.

My parents are coming over here in a week, Im still deciding whether I should tell them about my surgery or not, I kind of made a whole list of reasons why I want it and stuff....One part of me wants to go home right now, and return to my job and work get the money and get the surgery, another part wants to be patient and take things step by step....

I am getting my surgery in December or early january thats like 6 months from now, when I think of it like that, I want to bash my head into a wall...but then again I tell myself "I lived with this crap for 20 years I can wait out 6 months" then I forget about it for a while, but then when I look myself into a mirror the feeling comes back, and I lose the patience.

Well thats all for now guys, later!

[michaelmorey]

keep your head up dude, your surgery will come soon enough. You're doing the right thing by keeping/getting yourself in the best shape you can, so just focus on the positive future you're working for!