How to deal with this

[rxnman]

Hi guys,

First I just want to say that I really admire all of you guys. I know what a nightmare it is living through this, and I know how much it takes. Reading these stories on here about selecting clothes based on what makes the "man boobs" least noticeable or picking a route to walk so what no sudden gusts of wind give it away..its like someone else is writing down my own experiences to the tee.

I'm 19, and I've had gyno since I was about 14. I've dealt with it all these years, but recently its gotten to the point where I dont know what to do anymore. I've been depressed on and off about my gyno for a while now. I'm a college student, usually I stay very busy and try not to think about it. Then something happens and I'm back in my room wondering what the f*ck I did to deserve this. Theres a bunch of holes in my room wall because a lot of times I use it to take out my frustration. I can't wear a tshirt, I can't go swimming (which I used to LOVE), most importantly I can't feel like a man. Thats what hurts the most, always feeling like I'm less than a man because of this. I've dealt with it though by keeping my mind off it and telling myself that its not noticeable (BS).

Now though, my gf is coming back to the states. Its a long story but the bottom line is she hasn't seen me in 2 years. Back then I dont think my gyno was that noticeable. Plus we were just starting to get close when she had to leave. Now she is coming back and I dont know what to do. I'm dying just thinking about even giving her a hug! We're closer now (we did the long distance relationship thing) and I know it will go much further than a hug when she comes back. I cant take my shirt off in front of her, and I can't tell her. When I think about it all I see is dead ends. I'm already thinking about ways to break up with her just so I dont have to see her reaction when she finds out. I love this girl, if she ever expressed disgust towards me, I would be done. 

I feel like a weakling, coward, not worthy of her... very confused.

Any words of advice on how to deal with this I would be grateful for.

thanks for reading this.

PS. Can anyone give me an estimate for how much surgery would cost? I've looked around but different places seem to give different prices =/

[PhillyPUFF]

Its much easier said than done, but I would recommend just telling your girl. Tell her how it affects you, and that your looking into getting surgery. Show her this site and let her read some of our stories. If she reacts negatively toward you, then shes not the right one man.

As far as surgery cost, it varies based on surgeons skill, location, etc. Personally, my surgery was $5, 500. Prices range generally anywehere from $3, 500 to $7,500 (could be more or less). If you do decide on surgery I would recommend taking your time in choosing your surgeon. Don't rush into anything just to get rid of the gyne. It will be worth the extra time and money getting a quality job the first time around, rather than having to get revision after revision.

Good luck man.

[Paa_Paw]

I could have written a very similar post when I was 19. and that would have been in 1956.

PhillyPUFF said it well, I agree. Tell the girl right out. If she is truly the right girl, it will not matter.

You are not alone, and you are not some kind of freak. We make up about 30-40% of the male population overall and the number increases with age. With those numbers, we are actually well within the statistic norm. Because we tend to suffer alone, and hide ourselves, we lack awareness of the commonality we share.

Consider your good fortune to live at a time when the various surgical methods have come together and provide a means to deal with your condition. Many of the present methods did not exist only 20 years ago.

Welcome, and Good Luck!

[leafhead]

Would you consider a short term solution like wearing an undershirt (tank top) underneath, and tucking it into your pants? You can then wear a t-shirt un tucked. I've been doing it for 10 years, but having surgery soon. I've been with my GF for 3 years, and she's never seen me with my shirt off..... I finally told her why a few days ago, and she took it very well. I mean she knew I had man boobs, but never realized it was so sever. Luckly she new a lot about gynecomastia... and she is happy that I am doing something about it.

Also, in all honesty... save up as much as you can to get this thing done while you're young. I'm 25, and I think I waited too long.

[rxnman]

Thanks a lot for the all the replies guys.

I am considering telling her right when she gets back, but whenever I consider it, it feels like the end of the world to me. I know I'm just being irrational, hopefully I'll be able to work through the fear in time. Ppuff, thanks for the excellent idea of letting her read these forums. I think I might give her this site before I tell her to "ease" her into it.

Leafhead, I do that currently but during the summer I sweat and that makes the tanktop lose its...rigidness(?). In the morning its fine, but by the time I've walked back and forth from all my classes, my problem becomes very visible. The sweat makes the clothes stick a bit :-(

If you dont mind my asking, how did you make it work w/ your gf without taking your shirt off?

Also, I'm thinking about having the surgery done with a student loan. If I can keep my gpa high enough, it would almost (almost) guarantee me a decent job in my major. I only just got done with my first year though, and dont know how well I'll be doing in the future. I'll most likely wait until my junior year to make the decision.

P_paw, thanks for the welcome. I'm so glad I found this place. Its amazing to me that so many guys go through stuff like this, yet in my 19 years I've never heard of anyone else having it.

[leafhead]

I just keep my shirt on when we're intimate... she's pretty understanding that way.

I just had the procedure done yesterday by Dr. Fielding. My Girlfriends pretty excited... almost as much as me. I really have to give her credit for staying with me.

[rxnman]

congrats! :-) can't wait till I have mine done, although it'll probably be a while.