Hello, everyone. I'm a 30-year old guy living in the midwest who just 4 days ago had surgery to correct my gynecomastia. I can barely come to terms with the fact that this affliction is over and I'm on the road to physical and mental recovery. Like many of you, I've been a long time voyeur of this message board, tiptoeing through the years wondering about whether I could ever get rid of it. Well now it's time to post for the first time.
The reason for this message is introspective; ultimately a culmination of years spent wondering "Will I always be like this?" Why has this seemed to have defined so much of who I am? Can I move past this as easily as I think I can?
There were many years of pain and intolerance from others; I don't need to go into the details. Suffice to say I'm not alone after reading others' experiences. My dad has it, never ever acted like it bothered him. My brother was lucky not to have it. Mine came at age 13. The family GP gave me the same line that it would probably go away. It wasn't until 8-10 years ago that I came to the realization that aside from surgery, this was permanent.
I lived my entire adolescence and young adulthood trying to hide it, avoiding pools, etc. I told no one. I was married once, for 5 years, and never discussed it with my ex-wife. Jesus, she knew everything about me, but I didn't let her in on that.
Two years ago I got divorced, decided that on my upcoming birthday to turn 30 that I would have the surgery done over the wintertime. Well last summer I met someone new who has since loved me for who I am. We are retarded for each other, and so when a month ago when I told her that I was going in for surgery and what the details of it were, she couldn't believe it. Not that she wasn't supportive; she just didn't think that I needed it. I unloaded 18 years of my baggage with it onto her and she just kept lifting the suitcases, asking me what else she could carry. I'd never told anyone else how I felt about the way I looked.
It was then that I first realized that while I felt the entire world is pointing and laughing at me, it was really my own insecurities that I projected onto others. I feel so selfish for how I've focused this one thing about me into a reason to be emotionally isolated.
That all being said, I'm still doing the freaking happy dance all day long with the way that I look. I had bilateral gynecomastia surgery w/o lipo. Can't believe the difference. I thought I had a ton of fat along with gland in there, but as it turned out, 80% of what was in there was glandular and the ps was able to cut it all out. I almost feel the other way about my chest now - that it's too flat! God we're f'd up in the head!
Others talk about how they can't wait to go to the pool or whatever...me too. But the thing I absolutely cannot wait for is to go out and buy the golf shirts that I've been dying to wear on the course the past few years. I'm gonna make that shit look good!
Now 4 days post-op, almost no swelling, although my chest is pretty numb. Drains still in, but only pushing about 30cc per day now. Will be out soon. The chest binder I'm wearing itches like I've never known. The hydrocodone is great while I can't drink beer but weening off of that for the most part.
Mostly a stream of consciousness, I know, but to everyone on this board, thank you Thank You THANK YOU!
Topic: A message of thanks (Read 5613 times)
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