I finally opened up to my parents about my gynecomastia after 9 years of it. I decided to do it in an email, and it made it so much easier. Anyone wondering how to do it, I suggest writing it down. Below is a copy of the letter I wrote which is also my story, and I felt so much better after it. My parents have agreed to let me get surgery and were upset that I didn't come to them earlier about this. I don't have a scheduled date yet, but I have sent in my remote consultation package to Dr. Bermant. Just waiting to hear back!
Dear Mom and Dad,
I am coming to you with a problem that I have that I have never opened up to anybody about. I'm sending this in an email because I feel it will give me a better chance to express all my emotions clearly and in a more organized manner, not to mention the pressure of talking about this face to face.
As you most likely know, I suffer from a very embarrassing medical condition called gynecomastia. It is the condition I developed when I was 12 or so. This was when I began forming the hard glandular tissues under my nipples which now protrude greatly and in other words look like young girl breast. I remember Dr. ______ saying that it happens to many boys in puberty, but usually goes away within two years, unless you fall in the 10% where it doesn't go away, which is me. I remember Dad trying to comfort me when I was young telling me that he was big chested and it was normal or whatever, but he does not have this. I am not fat, and shouldn't have nipples that are domed shaped and protrude out over an inch from my body. I can't even remember what I used to look like before I got these.
This condition has been the source of all my self confidence issues, and I can't describe the stress that this has caused me for my teenage and young adult life. I was asked by a girl once in 8th grade if I wanted to borrow her bra. Because of these types of things, my self confidence has really dropped. I came up with ways to try to hide it. This is why I began to always wear undershirts under t-shirts, and in highschool all i wore was collared shirts, because wearing an undershirt under a collared shirt was normal and did a decent job of covering it up. I would never wear a white or light colored shirt because it made them easier to see. Always dark colored or striped shirts. I never would wear single t-shirts because they were so noticeable people would always look down at them or pinch them. I just recently gained the freedom of being able to wear single t-shirts and collared shirts with no undershirts last summer when I discovered a compression tank top on the internet that is specifically made for males with this condition. It completely flattens out my chest and allows me to wear what I want and made me feel much better about myself although it is hot as hell in the summer and makes me miserable, but i would much rather be hot and miserable than people seeing my huge abnormal nipples. I now am wearing these compression tank tops pretty much 24/7 under my normal clothing.
For the most part though, I have done such a good job of hiding them, that most of my friends and all don't really know that I have them to make fun of me about it. This is because I can literally count on one hand the number of times that I have been out with other people and taken my shirt off since I got them when I was 12! For example, did you notice when we went on the cruise a couple years ago that I never hung out on the deck or at the pool during the day because I didn't want to feel the pressure of taking my shirt off and the rest of the family seeing them? I spent one whole day sleeping in our cabin for christs sake because I didn't want to go up on deck with everybody and take my shirt off and my excuse was that I was sick when I really wasn't sick. Or how about how i never get in the hot tub when we go to _______ and ________ house. I can't tell you the last time that I went swimming in the pool or the ocean. I have completely avoided those situations since I got them and all through high school. When people try to invite me to somewhere like the river or the beach, I say that I have to work even though alot of times I don't or i say that I am going to play golf already. My main excuse when people would try to get me to come out on the boat, I would always say "No, I'm not going out there to get pulled over by DNR and get a minor in possession of alcohol ticket." I can't use that excuse anymore, and I really have no more to use. This is why this is really starting to eat at me. Water festival this year absolutely scares the hell out of me because I can't think of an excuse as to why I won't be out there while all of my friends are out there wondering where I am and the whole town is out there partying. Can you believe that I have not once in my life ever been out to that sandbar downtown? Yall may be thinking "but you always go out to lands end and go out on the boat and stuff" and I do, but the truth is when I do go out on the river it is always just like me and ________ or ______ and therefore I don't have to take my shirt off because its not like either of them are going to be like "_______, why dont you ever take your shirt off?" I have never been around any girls with my shirt off. Yall always ask me why i'm not dating or never have a girlfriend, and this is why. I dont have the self confidence and this has been going on so long that I have completely lost interest in trying to date and what not. This past weekend at _______, I did not go to the beach or pool even though alot of people did. I just kept saying "I think i'm going to play golf in a little while." You know I never even walk around in the yard with my shirt off because I'm afraid of people driving by seeing me. This list could go on and on and on.
My nipples are also the reason that I got yall to buy me my bowflex dumbbells this past christmas. My entire logic behind getting those was this was going to be the summer that I have to go out in front of people with my shirt off. I figured I had six months to start working out and build confidence about the rest of my body and try to overcome it. Well the summer is now here, and although I am happy with my progress and enjoy working out, I am still not going to be able to conquer this overwhelming issue and be able to comfortably take my shirt off around other people no matter how much I work out.
I hope that you can really realize the extent to which this has hindered my life and kept me from enjoying it like I should be. I feel like if I didn't have this problem, I would be a totally different person. I also believe the stress that I have dealt with is why my hair has already started to fall out at my young age.
I just recently started to research surgery to get the glandular tissue removed so my chest will be flat. It can be done and has changed a lot of peoples lives that have dealt with this like me. The best surgeon that specializes in this is located in Richmond, VA and people come from all over the world to him to get it done. The average cost for the surgery is $2800 depending on the severity of the problem and whether one will need liposuction also. Because of my low body fat, I feel that I would be one that wouldn't need anything but the glandular excision, therefore I would be one of the cheaper cases. Dr. Bermant offers consultations over the phone for people that don't want to travel there just for that. It includes us receiving a packet to fill out and sending back medical information and pictures with certain poses and then a phone interview after he looks at everything. The fee for this out of office consultation is $200.
I have decided that I want to get this surgery done if yall can help me out. As for paying for it, I really wish I had just asked for this and kept driving my truck rather than buying the explorer. I am willing to set up some kind of financing and try to pay for this monthly myself or whatever, but the bottom line is I need to do something because I can't live this way anymore.
The emotions described above isn't the half of it. I could go on for days and days about how this has controlled my life and how I have come up with ways to try to cope with it. Below are a couple of links. One site is just about gynecomastia and the other is the surgeon in Virginia's website which has everything about gynecomastia, what it is, what the surgery is, recovery time, pictures, the psychological effect that it has on people, etc. Please take a look at these sites and read about it yourself.
http://www.gynecomastia.org/ http://www.plasticsurgery4u.com/procedure_folder/male_breast.html Well there it is. I've laid it all out for the first time in my life. My cards have been shown. There is nothing more that I want than to be able to live worry and care free. I hope you can somewhat understand what I am going through and maybe we can come up with a solution.
Love,
_______
Topic: Talking to your parents about it (Read 3720 times)
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