Masculinity

[Chicago]

Hello everyone,

New Poster, but I've been reading the site for about a month and have caught up on all the past threads too.

I hope no one takes this the wrong way, but I really see a disconnect between feeling masculine and then being afraid to wear something (such as a bra, sport top, cami, whatever). In my mind, being a man (or being masculine) is about being your OWN man, and doing whatever the heck you feel like (save for perhaps felonies) no matter what some other person thinks about it. It seems girlish/feminine to care more about what other people are thinking about you or to have an extreme interest in gossip about you.

Make no apologies, explain to no one what you're doing if they're not sharing a bed with you.

Perhaps its my experience with having a slight disability. Learning at a young age not to give a care what other people thought. But its not masculine to lack self confidence. Whats the point of enduring pain, discomfort, or fear because someone else might notice your solution? When I read stuff like that, I think of those people I've seen with runners nipple (severely chaffed nipples) bleeding through their shirts. Yeah, cause that makes a hell of alot more sense than a sport top.. or perhaps its better to put duct tape on yourself a few times?

I know that some people here have some really big breasts. But for those of you with C cups or smaller, do you know there are guys out there that get some kind of thrill out of wearing bras out in public when they dont need to? They can have the same fear of being caught as you do (acceptance, job, whatever). There are whole websites out there describing how to hide a bra (and they are intentionally putting forms in to make themselves have boobs). I'm not saying everyone should be excited about the prospect, but I am saying that you dont always have to choose being public about it if you decide you will be more comfortable in a bra.

In the end, if someone says something about it, ask them right to their face if they have a problem with it. That'll shut up 90% of people right there. Please don't negatively affect your life through pain, discomfort or  shame.

In a slightly different angle of looking at it, seriously, you're not the center of the universe. What may seem so obvious to you, other people don't even notice because they don't care. You're not in a spotlight on stage, you're just one of many walking the street, watching a movie, riding a bus, etc.

[Paa_Paw]

You are correct, What makes a person a man is what is between the legs and what is between the ears.

[gotgyne]

Well written. But in my opinion, it's not that someone might notice you wear a bra as a man. The main problem is the fear of being ridiculed.

John

[Chicago]

Well written. But in my opinion, it's not that someone might notice you wear a bra as a man. The main problem is the fear of being ridiculed.

John

Thank you.

I appreciate the fear of ridicule. I am suggesting the more confident and more brash you are about "why the heck do you care?" in an instance in which the bra was noticed,  the less likely someone will continue to bother you. Unconfident, ashamed people are easy to pick on.

[Bman41]

Yup, good point.  Once people realize you could care less what they think, the less they will worry about it too.

Well written. But in my opinion, it's not that someone might notice you wear a bra as a man. The main problem is the fear of being ridiculed.

John

Thank you.

I appreciate the fear of ridicule. I am suggesting the more confident and more brash you are about "why the heck do you care?" in an instance in which the bra was noticed,  the less likely someone will continue to bother you. Unconfident, ashamed people are easy to pick on.

[Toobee]

Yes, you are absolutely correct. Thank you for this posting.

[Paa_Paw]

Without regard for age, a person who makes a good victim will be ridiculed and teased.

Obviously it is in our interests to not allow ourselves to be victims.

The bullies who would tease and ridicule are often innate cowards and they will find someone more willing to be a victim to avoid being hurt themselves.

[Alchemist]

A response to the bullies like "So you really get off on male breasts" or Why are you so obsessed with male breasts", or "Whatever turns you on" will usually stop them cold.  Said with a smile they will usually go away shaking their head.  Bullies look for the easy target.  One that makes them look ridiculous to their sidekicks will generally get rid of them to look for an easier victim.

[Jason13820]

Hello everyone,

New Poster, but I've been reading the site for about a month and have caught up on all the past threads too.

I hope no one takes this the wrong way, but I really see a disconnect between feeling masculine and then being afraid to wear something (such as a bra, sport top, cami, whatever). In my mind, being a man (or being masculine) is about being your OWN man, and doing whatever the heck you feel like (save for perhaps felonies) no matter what some other person thinks about it. It seems girlish/feminine to care more about what other people are thinking about you or to have an extreme interest in gossip about you.

Amen brotha. I think some of us get too caught up in stereotypes instead of viewing clothing as just clothing. Even among those of us who are willing to wear bras, there's a tendency to wear only sports bras and compression vests because they are the "manlier" option instead of others that are more supportive and comfortable, as if there is such a thing as a "manly" sports bra.

[hammer]

Well, it has been said many times and I'll say it again as it is worth repeating "a bra is for supporting breast, what does it matter if the breast are on a man or woman"?

I don't care what others say or think, this man likes a good support bra! If you don't like it, I will meet you out behind the barn. LOL

[Bman41]

I hear that!  The barn and support.  Some bras are just lame, not even worth wearing.  Probably toss them at Goodwill when I get a chance.  I have a couple that are a bit tight, but support really well (most all mine are athletic/sports bras). 

Well, it has been said many times and I'll say it again as it is worth repeating "a bra is for supporting breast, what does it matter if the breast are on a man or woman"?

I don't care what others say or think, this man likes a good support bra! If you don't like it, I will meet you out behind the barn. LOL

[aboywithgirls]

I used to fear being found out.  Yes it's obvious that I have large breasts even for a woman of my size (5'10, 170 lbs 38 DD) so yes they are very noticeable. But now to have them supported by a bra not because you're looking for a thrill but just trying to be comfortable in your own skin.

If that's not enough, I thought going for a professional bra fitting at my wife's favorite boutique would be the end of my masculinity. But I was wrong. The lady that was fitting me was empathetic of my situation. She was definitely surprised to see my girls but maintained a professional atmosphere the entire time.

There are people who understand our situation and honestly don't Question our masculinity and the women at this shoo were excellent at making me feel at home while feeling like a fish outta water. I left the shop with my masculinity intact and my breasts never feeling so good.

[Bman41]

It isn't like you are going to get a manicure,  painting your nails and buying a purse to match your heels and skirt.  You are going to be fitted for a needed garment that needs professional fitting to fit properly and that the garment does the job it was engineered to do.  Support breast tissue.

The women who work, at least in my experience at Soma are classy professionals who want you to feel comfortable in your skin and in the store.  Yes, it is a very feminine store, but not like Victoria Secret.   That is aimed at younger girls/women, nothing like Soma. 

They told me it takes months of training to work there as a fitter.  It isn't like someone is just there to stock shelves and was given a tape measure.  They likely will educate you on the proper bras to wear and why.  The fitter I saw, Valerie at Soma of Barrington, was impressed I knew as much as I did.  She usually has to explain a lot, most women just don't understand the bras and fit and what they really need.

[aboywithgirls]

I agree with your take the boutiques. Soma's fitters are great!

[aboywithgirls]

To complete my post, Soma is great because they must have a great training program and higher quality ladies to work there. They are a great chain store. However at a little boutique about 20 minutes from my home my wife's favorite boutique is now mine as well. When we go there, they know us and ask who's first? That kinda breaks the ice. It is actually quite relaxing going there and having a glass of wine while finding a bra that has that perfect fit. I have to admit that I enjoy going to be fitted for a bra. Not humiliated.