Blitz's Diary...had follow up surgery with Dr. Fielding. Case closed.

[Blitz]

I thought I'd start a diary with 1 week to go before I get my gyne removed. 

I'm inviting all guys here into my psyche.  Maybe you might relate (or not).  Take what you can.  Plus, I feel I'm giving back to the gyne community because without this site, I know I wouldn't have done anything about my condition.   This story might sound familiar because I've already posted bits and pieces of it in the last few months but this will be my post op and pre op thread so I'm going to try and fit everything into this. 

I'm feeling really good.  I know I'll be somewhat nervous as my surgery day draws near.  For the past 2 weeks after I wake up, I look in the mirror and say to myself, soon my boobs will be gone.  I'll be able to walk around the house with my shirt off or wear the tightest t-shirt I can get my hands on.  I've been working out for the past year and I get to finally show it off.  Maybe I'm being presumptuous because I have heard and seen some botched up surgeries but for now, I'm going to stay optimistic.  I'm sure all those negatives thoughts will be clouding my mind by next week. 

Zardoz got his surgery about 10 days ago and he looks great.  His condition is different from mine but still reassuring considering we're both using the same doctor for the surgery. Dr. Fielding for those of you who don't know, is considered to be one of the best doctors out there.  Zardoz flew all the way from Vancouver (over 2000 km) to Toronto to get his surgery done by Fielding.  That says a lot.   

I had purchased some tight t-shirts last year because I said to myself at that time, I will workout to reduce my gyne and I'll wear them after.  Not knowing that this tactic doesn't work, I worked my butt off for over a year in an attempt to get rid of my boobs.  It didn't work.  I lived on the treadmill, benched at least 3 times a week and ate well.  I got into pretty good shape but still had my gyne.  I think most guys can relate to this. 

Anyways, I'm hoping to wear those tight t-shirts a few weeks after my surgery.  I'll probably wear it to the gym. 

I haven't told anyone about my surgery.  Not my girlfriend, parents, sister or close friends.  I got some flack for this because a lot of guys thought that I should at least trust my girlfriend with the news because she'll be the first one to notice when we have sex.  It's not as if I don't trust my girlfriend but I've been so guarded when it comes to this that I don't discuss it with her and she has never brought it up with me.  It's not like I prance around the house with my shirt off.  When we have sex, I'm naked but we both tend to focus on different areas at that time.  I'm sure she knows it's there but I don't think she considers it a big deal.  More of a reason to tell her right?  Still no in my mind. 

I've already started a string of lies that will camouflage my gyne operation.  It's a tricky juggling act because women can sure ask a lot of meddling questions.  My surgery is set for next Wednesday and I've already planned to go to the gym on the Tuesday.  When I come back from the gym, I will tell her I dropped some weight on my chest and it hurts like hell.   I've already booked the 13th, 14th and 15th off from work but she doesn't know that. 

I've already told her that I'll be at an accounting workshop on the Wednesday.   Obviously, there is no workshop.  I'll be at St. Joseph's in downtown Toronto.  I'll call her from the hospital.  I'll tell her I  admitted myself because the chest pains were too much.  She'll ask me why I didn't choose a hospital closer to home and I'll tell her the workshop was close to this hospital and changed my mind about going because of the pain. 

I'll have my operation and I'll pray to God that it goes off without a hitch.  I'm hoping to get out of there early.  I'll have a friend come and get me (can't leave the hospital without someone to assist in getting you home).  I'll tell my friend the same story.  He'll take me back home.  I'll tell them they had to cut me open because blood started to build up in my chest region.  I'll heal at home over the next few days and I'll be back to work on Monday. 

I know this story may have some holes in it but I'm going to do everything in my power to keep it from everyone I know. 

Know this:  If your gyne bothers you so much, I suggest you do something about it.  I would have never thought I would be getting surgery for this and I still find it strange that I am but I'm looking at the big picture.  My life after surgery.  The toughest thing for me was getting the ball rolling.  I was embarrassed and I felt very alone in my search for an answer.  I even felt nervous when I registered on these boards.  All I can think of is next summer when I'm calling friends to go to the beach or teaching my son how to swim. 

The Nike motto is 'Just Do It.' That's my motto as well.

Will check in again tomorrow and will discuss embarrassing moments. 

[Blitz]

Whenever something or someone gets me down here at work or home, I just think of my upcoming gyne surgery and I'm on top of the world.  

I said I would talk about embarrassing situations in this post but I think everyone on these boards have commiserated more then enough stories to last a lifetime.  

I will however share a mild incident that took place last week.  I say mild because it only affected me and no one else knew.  My girlfriend, son and I spent a day with another couple and their child at a big park.  It was during the heat wave we were having here in Toronto and if you experienced it, you know how hot it was.  It was so hot that a lot of guys were walking around with their shirts off.  

Anyways, Joe (half of the couple) decided to take his shirt off while we were throwing around a football.  He doesn't have gyne and I thought to myself, lucky bastard.  As the day wore on, we saw a swimming pool and everyone was saying, lets go for a swim.  Thankfully as we got closer to the pool, we realized it was a wading pool mainly for kids.  Adults could take their shoes off and go in but it was used by kids.  For that brief 30 seconds to a minute as we were making our way to the pool, all I could think of was an excuse as to why I wouldn't be diving in.  

I came up with "I don't want to get too much sun," to "I don't want to get chlorine in my eyes."  Man was I happy to realize that it wasn't a swimming pool.  I also said to myself, if this was a year from now, I would be the first one to be in his swimming trunks.  This gyne can really cripple you at certain points.  

Anyhow, that's my 2 cents for today.  I might add another post tonight if the mood hits me.  7 more days until my op.  I can't wait.  

[Blitz]

6 days and still counting.  I'm still feeling really good about everything.  It's 9:00 in the morning and I'm sitting at my desk here at work just thinking of my operation.  I can't believe that a week from today, I will be one day post op and gyne free.  

The British Open starts next week so guess what I'll be doing during my recovery? That's right, watching Tiger, Phil, Vijay and Nicklaus playing golf on t.v.  I might go out on the Friday and watch a movie (The Fantastic Four).  It will obviously depend on how I'm feeling.  

Probably check in again later just because it's so early and my brain is still half a sleep.  

[Blitz]

Woke up last night at 1:30.  Whenever this happens, I usually close my eyes and go back to sleep but the first thing I thought of was my surgery.  I'm still happy that I'm having the surgery but a few whatif's popped into my head:


What if the operation is not successful and I look disfigured?

What if something goes wrong on the operating table and I don't wake up?

What if my girlfriend gets wise and she figures out what's going on?

I'm still very optimistic about the whole thing so I guess these are just some pre-op jitters.  I can't wait for next Wednesday.  All this thinking kept me awake for over an hour.  Most of the thoughts were good though.  

[a-man]

What if the operation is not successful and I look disfigured?

Are you going with Doc. Fielding? If so, I haven't heard of a single case of anyone looking 'disfigured'... I wouldn't worry about it. Worst case scenario is you don't look AS good as you had hoped, but you still look 100 times better. But in reality, I'm sure you will be thrilled with the resuts, just like everyone else was who went with him.

What if something goes wrong on the operating table and I don't wake up?

I don't know if you read my post on the other board, but the chances of dying from anesthesia are like 1 in 200,000 or something: much less than your chances of being hit by lightning. Again, worst case scenario, you wake up feeling a bit nautious.

What if my girlfriend gets wise and she figures out what's going on?

No one ever suspects cosmetic surgery... most people don't even realize it's an option. I'm sure she will believe you. By the 3rd or 4th day you'll be so back to normal that she will forget about the whole ordeal.

[Blitz]

Thanks annonymous man,

Most of my fears were what if's and I don't believe for one second that anything bad will happen to me. It was just nervous energy.  It is a window into my gyne psyche I'm trying to provide for future and current gyne visitors to these boards.  

I've been on these boards religously for the past 3 months and I know that Fielding is da man (quoting Bambu).  

Thanks though.

[KingCobra]

     Blitz my man just be positive throughout this ordeal.  I too concocted the 'chest injury at the gym' so I'll try to give you some tips on hiding the operation.  
    Until your post-op (which will be 6 days after surgery) you're gonna have to wear the foam pads and tensor bandage around your chest.  Those things are pretty noticeable my man, so you're gonna have to wear a shirt w/ pockets, a sweater or a hoody around the house to hide it.
    I'm 2 weeks post-op and and my areolas are looking pretty f'n gruesome with the stitches in 'em.  From what I've seen that heals in about a month or more and the stitches dissolve on their own.  So you'll have to keep your shirt on when you get your freak on!  

[Pferdestärken]

If it helps. I'm 5 weeks post op and I think there is a massive difference between my pre op and post op look (and I am a wearing clothes a couple fo sizes smaller than before). However, no-one else has noticed whatsoever! Not a single comment from anyone I work with. Even my mum hasn't noticed.

Sure, your girlfriend is going to notice when you get jiggy, but day-to-day you'd be surprised how little people actually take notice of what you look like! It's been a bit of an eye opener for me!

[Blitz]

Thanks for the advice guys but I'm as cool as a cucumber about the operation and the lie that will go with it.  My op is two days away and I'm still on cloud 9.  I may not sleep well tomorrow night but I think that will be from excitement.  Plus, I'm treating this like an adventure.  

Anyways, I wasn't on all weekend because my hi-speed was down at home.  Not much to share though in terms of fears, excitement and thoughts because my feelings are still the same.  I imagine those feelings will hit an all time high Wednesday.  I have to call the office tomorrow to get my operation time.  Hopefully it's in the morning.  

[a-man]

In retrospect, the whole surgery process was pretty fun...

The operation I didn't feel a thing, and I got to sit on my ass for a few days and just watch movies and relax... it was kinda sad when I realized I was really more than fine to go back to work.

Also you get some kick ass pain killers  

[Blitz]

I was told to be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow.  Man, that is early.  Our subway system starts at 6.  

I'm keeping this from my girlfriend (more on that later) so I had to start thinking.  I told her my 1 day Windows workshop starts at 7 a.m..  She said fine and said she'll drop our son off at the sitters.  I'm leaving home at 4:30.  I'll drive down to my parents house (in Scarborough for fellow Torontonians) and a friend will give me a lift down to the hospital.  My friend doesn't even know of the procedure.  I told him I'm going in to have a few test done to make sure I'm ok (he bought it).  

I will get there at 6 and from there on in, I imagine I'll wait around for my procedure.  I don't know what time my surgery is but considering I was asked to get there 2 hours before surgery, I'm thinking somewhere between 8 and 9.  I hope Dr. Fielding is on schedule.  I'm really getting giddy about this whole thing.  I was reading some more threads today and I can't remember the last time I read a negative post when it comes to the surgery.  

I have to clear something up.  I received a lot of flack from some of the guys on here for keeping this a secret....especially from my girlfriend.  I didn't mind because no one was ferocious in their denouncement of my clandestine motives.  I heard some really good advice on why I should tell her.  I almost changed my mind and did tell her.  I'm not telling her because I don't feel as if I could trust her with this.  My girlfriend and I are still together because we have a son and I'm not walking out on him.  The relationship has been deteriorating for a while now but me thinking of leaving my 2 year old boy just breaks my heart.  I can't do it so I'll put up with this s-h-i-t as long as I'll have to.  I don't want to get into relationship dynamics just because it's not what this site is about but that's my reason for not telling her.  I'll be honest with you guys though, it would be a lot easier if she did know.  I wouldn't have to put so much effort in covering every lie I tell.  It's exhausting.

I'll know in the next few days whether or not my lies will still remain a lie or she'll figure this thing out.  I'm a great liar so I think my chances are pretty good in getting away with it.  The big question is how am I going to explain the way my chest looks when the bandages come off.  As most of you know, I'm telling her that I dropped some weights on my chest.  

There will be a call to her tomorrow after my surgery telling her that they had to open up my chest and drain it because blood had started to accumalte.  I'll also tell her that I have a hairline crack in my sternum and I'll have to be bandaged up for a while.  I know some of you guys are reading this and thinking, this guy has got to be kidding me.  I'm not kidding anyone.  If having this surgery meant someone I know would have to know about it, I'd probably rather not have the surgery.  Nahhh, I'd probably go through with it because knowing that I'm ridding myself of this thing has made me a very happy man.  

Will be my last post before surgery.  I should be back on here tomorrow night giving a detail acount of the days' event (if I'm up to it).  Will post pics of bandaging as well.  I won't be posting pics of my chest for another week but will post immediately when I'm able to see for myself.  Endorphins are being released everytime I think of the after results (keeping my fingers crossed).

[rob_m]

good luck, can't wait to welcome you to the other side.

       Rob

[Grandpa Bambu]

I've been on these boards religously for the past 3 months and I know that Fielding is da man (quoting Bambu).  

Yes Sir!  JCF.....  HE DA MAN...        

John.

[Grandpa Bambu]

What if the operation is not successful and I look disfigured?

Highly doubtful with JCF. As a-man mentioned, your results may not be what you have envisioned. Your chest will not look like you never had gyne at all. There will be 'some' irregularities but that is to be expected . You have to have 'realistic expectations' of surgery outcome. You should not expect a 'perfect' chest. A 'major improvement' is what you should be aiming for. Don't worry Blitz, JCF won't 'disfigure' you....

What if something goes wrong on the operating table and   don't wake up?

Again, as a-man said, the chances of that happening are slim to none. You'd probably have more of a chance of getting hit by a car while crossing the road than dieing on the table. They will be monitoring you every second of the proceedure. No need to worry...

What if my girlfriend gets wise and she figures out what's going on?

Then you'll be in the Dawg Crib for a few dayz Dude....  


John.

[nothingworse]

Good luck Blitz!