psychological help

[nasa3]

I suffered withthis thing for 32 years before getting lipo in 2002..i still need some work, I'm going to see an endo soon and will get a referral to a top surgeon in a top Chicago hospital to finish this damn thing off..but the psychological effects are devastating me to this day..i went for some counseling a while back with a Christian counselor, but it was not helpful..he kept telling me that God doesn't make mistakes and that I had to stop looking at myself as a mistake..my response is if I'm not a mistake then he did this to me on purpose, so what it is, the biggest fucking joke in the world, only its not funny to me..so I think I'm going to ask for a referral to a psych counselor, but I'm going to try and find someone who will listen to this whole story, try to make some sense out of it, and help me with some real world techniques to deal with the absolute anger and rage issue I have over this...if you know anybody like this in the Chicago area give me a heads up..i prefer a female, I'm sick to death of dealing with male medical providers and their overwhelming arrogance and lack of caring..thanks all

[altron]

he kept telling me that God doesn't make mistakes and that I had to stop looking at myself as a mistake

True. God doesn't make mistakes. You aren't a mistake. You're a human: we all have defects. Nobody is perfect.

if I'm not a mistake then he did this to me on purpose, so what it is

You may not like this: God doesn't owe you an explanation, and neither do you have to know "why" something happened to you in order to be grateful for the life He gave you.

I'm going to try and find someone who will listen to this whole story, try to make some sense out of it, and help me with some real world techniques to deal with the absolute anger and rage issue I have over this

Basic: The reason you have anger/rage issues is because things are not going in the way you would like to. Even when your favorite football loses you can experience anger. So, how do you deal with it? Be realistic: things won't always happen in the way you want them to happen.

My advice (not a doctor. Just basic stuff):
Recognize you have a problem (Gynecomastia) that won't go away without a surgery. You won't fix it by getting angry. Then, decide whether you are one of the people who want to get rid of their Gynecomastia, or one of those who have no problem living with it.

If you're the latter, then that's it. Go and live your life.

If you're the former, then make "Getting rid of my gynecomastia" your decision, your goal. First, find out the cost of Gynecomastia surgery in your town. If you don't have the money, work hard, and save money until you get enough for your surgery and some meds. Because this kind of surgery is expensive and most health insurance companies won't pay for it, it will take you time to get the money you need.

During the time you're working towards achieving your goal (Getting rid of Gynecomastia), you may get depressed, angry at God, angry with others, discouraged, etc. But, hang in there, remember you took a decision, you set a goal, and since you're a man who keeps his word, you have to do it.

So, it's essential that you have realistic expectations: this will take you time and will cost you money. You may not like the life you have had, but if you can do something to fix it, and want to fix it, go ahead and do it.

Some people not only don't like the life they have, but they can't do anything to fix it, to get rid of their problems. I was going to post here some examples of what I consider real health problems, but then I remembered that I don't think it's good to compare your situation to that of others in order to feel "better". Just be humble, accept the life you have and, if you can do something to fix it, go ahead and do it.

[nasa3]

thanks for the attempt to be  helpful butttt...same answer I got from the therapist and not very helpful..as God said to Job "shut up and sit down.." sounds like Howard Stern's father to me..and I have had surgery already, need one more to finish the job, but the rage is over thirty years or more of my life wasted..I don't know where you grew up, but where I come from,I got tortured and even physically beaten up over this..ongoing until I trained myself to get strong and knowledgeable enough to beat back, then I went absolutely nuts for about ten years and probably, conservatively beat up over two hundred people, most of whom deserved it, out of sheer rage..unfortunately for me, I absolutely believe that there is a God, and also unfortunately for me, I have barely, just enough, intelligence to ask the question why me...I've spent nights for years on my knees begging God to help me with this, never an answer..I had to walk this walk alone with no one to help me, not parents not God...remember, I am not an atheist, I believe..I need a lot of help and I'm 57 years old, and when I was younger I reached out to some medical providers for help, and these paragons of the medical profession, who are supposed to be healers and helpers and protectors, unequivocally blew me off told me there was absolutely nothing that could be done..I then lived in tortured silence for another 22 years until the advent of the internet showed me that  that there ay out and there all along..that 32 years of torture has warped me in ways I cannot even begin to describe..

[nasa3]

that last line should read "until the advent of the internet showed me that there was a way out and that it had been there all along

[altron]

Hello Nasa,
Thanks for replying.

I have some questions for you:

What has been the source of your torture exactly? The fact that you have a severe case of Gynecomastia, or Is there anything else?

Also, Do you have a family? (Wife, kids) If not, Has the gynecomastia stopped you from meeting a woman, getting married, etc?

Have a good day, Nasa.

[hammer]

I'm 56 have had it all my life as well, I believe in God to, I'm a Ordained Christian Minister, I've fathered 5 children, I now have 3 grand kids and still very happily married to the greatest woman I've ever known for 27 years. Having breast has never changed any of that, never will, and God only cares what is in your heart, not your looks, as looks don't mater because that is only skin deep, but your personhood goes to your soul!

I put in 11 years in the military with breast IVE NEVER HAD SURGERY  and due to health issues I've grown to double Ds! I still love God, and Jesus, and I give a damn about my breast, there just fat, excess breast tissue and skin, they have nothing to do with who I am, that comes from within, not the breast!

You are the "man" or person you are because of what is in you head, mind and heart, so no mater what is on your chest, you still need to get your head straight!


Bob

[nasa3]

thank you gentlemen, but I grew up in a real tough blue collar town where bullying was the norm..from age 13 to 18 I was beaten, physically assaulted, publicly humiliated and verbally abused, isolated and shunned by people due to this condition which I had nothing to do with creating..I am hopefully going to have enough time tomorrow to post my story in the MY STORY section in much more detail, for two reasons, one for my own therapeutic benefit, and two, as a warning to the parents of any teens who are suffering from this and who may fall into the clutches of ignorant medical providers who tell them to wait for five or six years for the condition to go away..this was not due to obesity or fat Hammer, I weighed 100 lbs dripping wet when this developed..as far as God goes, I've seen enough in my life to convince that without doubt there is an all knowing all powerful ever living God, without a doubt...why he never helped me is the central mystery of my life, and no nostrums are going to explain that, only a direct revelation..the closest explanation I can come up with is the old saw "it may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a bad example to others.." I do have a wife and children..again I will hopefully post the rest of the story tomorrow because without a doubt it has been eating me up for a long time and I had repressed a lot of this, but lately it is resurfacing and I need to get it out..thanks for your interest..

[hammer]

I too have my story in story section, "my story after all these years" I wasn't fat all my life, not until I had to start using insulin, I was about 6-10 % BMI most of my younger years, but I was strong as hell, so not to many were willing to give me much crab about having breast. I was never the bully nor did I allow anyone to bully anyone else.

In the service I was a diver, so I was in great scape for that, so no one ever would say much while I was in the service either.

I personally feel you need to work on self esteem and self confidence to improve yourself image more then anything my friend. I'm not denying your hurting inside, but I truly think the help is also needed from within, not more surgeries.

Just musing from a fellow gynecomastia male, who has learn to accept, but also supports surgery.


Bob

[nasa3]

Thank you Hammer I've read your posts overvtge
 The years always interesting