hi.
first, i should start by saying that i can't believe this place exists. i wish it would have been around when i was younger.
i am 27, a bisexual white male, and i have had gynecomastia since i was eight years old.
that's when i first noticed that i was different. my cousins and classmates teased me mercilessly from that point on in my life. of course i had all of the typical issues: wouldn't take off my shirt around others, didn't like playing sports, shame and more shame... i was also fat. very fat.
i don't think that my obesity caused my breasts to grow, but it didn't slow them down. they were and still are very prominent; as a boy, i remember my grandmother threatening me by saying she was going to make me wear a bra. She was my caretaker, and a large part of my shame component. I had also been sexually abused both from within my family and from outside. this contributed vastly to my gain.
i was a shy boy, that was also deemed very intelligent, though an under-performer. i had many issues in my life, but my breasts have been one of the largest problems, figuratively and literally.
when I was 20, i started to lose a great amount of weight. going from 350 pounds to 150 in under 3 years. Mostly, it was student-starvation, bicycling to class, and diet changes that triggered this. But my breasts remained nearly intact. a little deflated from the great masses they were at the peak of my weight, but still visible through a shirt.
i was so frustrated; i could now fit into all the cool clothes i wanted to wear from retro shops, but tops hardly ever fit. to this day i still curse my breasts for making XL dress shirts a necessity for me, while i look ridiculous having my pencil neck protruding from a collar 3 sizes to large for me.
recently, i have gained a few (30) pounds back, and with that, my breasts have responded by getting bigger once again. My doctor has recommended that i get scanned for hormonal issues, but i haven't been able to do that yet.
what is curious to me is my love/hate relationship with my chest.
on one end, it always kept me from feeling attractive, yet, i have received praise for how they look. boyfriends and girlfriends alike. they make me feel awkward in public wearing clothes, but i am turned on by them when i walk around my apartment nude. it's always been somewhat like that. a confusing swirl of love/hate.
that's where i will end my story. i hope to engage with all of you soon.
_J_