I spent my entire teenage, now adult life reaping the demonic spoils of gynecomastia. At first I thought It would go away (at least that's what my mom told me), then when it didn't, I thought I could exercise my way out of it, but with every pound dropped it seemed as if 5 more pounds were being added to my chest. I'd look in the mirror and see my stomach starting to form a 6 pack, or my legs and arms beginning to become more defined, but my chest continued to look feminine, jiggling when I ran, or road on a bumpy bus or car ride. T-shirt? are you serious? a t-shirt? Those two words have never been in my vocabulary, but 2 tights, and a thick have. I'm so mentally screwed up that I can't go out of the house unless I have 2 tights and a thick shirt on, and if those items aren't available I have to wear a jacket with at least 2 shirts to compensate for the one shirt I don't have on. Since I've never known anything other than being gynecomastia positive, I never got into buying clothes, I just bought shirts that that passed the mirror test, and when they did, I'd purchase and wait a couple of years before I was forced to buy something else due to them being worn. I have absolutely nothing positive to say about this evil plague that I've lived with, and will never have a post op, "respect for the disease moment" that other ex gyne members seem to have because this thing is nothing other than horrifying. It's unmanagable at best, and when you think you've managed to pass the mirror test, making sure all angles of shirt to chest don't display too much of a breast look, the wind hits you and you've now been transformed from a potential girly man to the employee of the month at a hooters restaurant. I'm trying to make light out of this, but there is no light. There is nothing humorous about this thing because it does not go away, it just destroys your mind turning you into a freak. If your like me, You become a hermit. You don't stay in the house because you don't want to go out, but because you can't go out. Your afraid of interaction because you just know that the person your talking to is looking at your chest. If your riding shotgun in a car you can't wear a seat belt because the strap will wrap over your chest, laying in between your womanly clevage, and oh my! Did your girlfriend driver who's never seen you naked due to the fact that your sustaining from sex until your married, or because you have a rash that hasn't cleared up, or, or , or...has she just took a peak at that seat belt strap and changed her whole opinion about you? Oh yes...she has, and you know what, she really has.. Look, I do not intend to hurt anyone by saying these things, but I feel as if the value of my life has been cheapened by this thing. Every relationship I 've ever had whether it be romantic or platonic has been marred by gynecomastia, and now that Im 29, and finally gaining the I don't give uh mentality, I don't know where to start when trying to be open and free with people. I don't know how to be a friend because all I know how to do is conceal everything. That's all I ever did. I might sound like someone who just needs to have the surgery and be done with this thing right? wrong. I already had the gynecomastia surgery. After years of trying to find a way to pay for this thing, I finally found a credit company stupid enough to give me a card, so I checked out some cosmetic doctors online who said they did the procedure, and found a company that would take a 500 dollar down payment and allow me to make monthly payments. I was estatic when I was approved for the card, and when I made the initial payment and got my consultation set up, I thought I was on my way. The clinic I payed ,which was infact a referable one, said that the doc specialized in gynecomastia surgery so I thought everything was great, that's only until the consultation when the doc said that he didn't excise the gland, but only did lipo. Now before I payed my 500 dollar security fee, I was on this site for about 5 months reading up on everything having to do with gynecomastia, so I knew that the glandular tissue had to be taken out in order for the best possible outcome to be realized, so when he told me that lipo was all I was getting I nearly destroyed the guy. I came there to save my life because I was pretty much dead living with this thing, so to have this glimmer of hope be wiped out nearly led me to contemplate suicide. This waco felt me up and said I had a glandular problem, but then said he wouldn't excise the gland because he thought it was too dangerous and that he's only seen bad results from it. I told him that I was very dissapointed with the fact that he wasn't going to do the excision, but he said lipo would still do a good job. Now good job was 20-30 % difference, and when he said that I just wanted to shoot myself. I finally got to the last leg of the gynecomastia race and I find out that no matter how much I ran I'd only complete 20-30% percent of it. I was distraught, but hey, anything is better than nothing, plus I already paid for it, so I had the surgery. It turns out that 300 cc's were takin out of both sides and when the pad was on, it actually looked like he'd done a good job. actually, after wearing the compression vest for 2 months, and taking it off, it seemed as if I could wear a t-shirt and get away with it, but as time went on, my nips become softer, and the flatness just went away. the gland was the reason. I didn't gain much weight, and I have a normal hormonal level, so it wasn't a reoccurance, it was a crappy surgical job that I had to settle for because I was misinformed and stuck in an agreement. So that happened a year and a half ago, and since then, I've lived the same pathetic life that I did before the first surgery. Nothing had changed until, I had the honor of meeting my new girlfriend who just happens to be rich. Now I know what your saying, How did you meet her if your so embarrased about your condition? and how can you be so mean as to use this girl for her money? Well I met her at work, so that didn't require for me to go out and be social, and Im not using her for her money, but if she will co sign for this, I will in no way stop her. I love her, but knowing I can fix this thing is something that goes beyond all of that Im sorry. THis disease has turned me selfish. I'm not using my girlfriend to get what I want, but you know what, If I did, I really wouldn't feel a lick of sorrow. I finally have a doc who knows what he's doing, and on aug 18th I should have the surgery done. Hopefully everything will go well,and I will be able to realize the joy of being a normal male who can go outside without checking out weather reports, or stopping my walking motion whenever someone comes towards me and the wind brushes my chest. I want this thing over with, and guess what? when it is I will wear a freakin t shirt in the winter, and if I get sick, I'll use my t shirt to wipe my noise, and take that shirt off and sit there coughing so loud that someone will have to come in an help me, only to see my shirtless body, and wonder why I don't have a shirt on, not that my chest looks like girl breasts...
I have no shame for writing this, and I don't care about its organization, grammer or effectivness, I just needed to say it.
I luv you guys because you understand me, even if you don't admit to it
