I'm New Here

[Ben2cat]

Hey Guys... I am new here & I have had this opportunity to find out some things about my body & soul in ways that I can not get into now... Just here to learn, share my story, get motivated and accept. Make the changes I need and hopefully find some answers.
I do want to be healthy in my mind with this condition.
I have gyno. real bad... I have had it all my life. I have suffered many many problems in my life that I know deep  down that gyno. was the problem.
Alcoholism was also another pain staking reality with the gyno. Divorce ruined me, and through those events and identity crisis , I almost killed myself.
The breasts and over eating has been the root of the problem. I was called names... etc.. we know the route we had to take.
Lies were a form of my personal acceptance and fantacy.
Anyway... I am 41 & I am completely starting over... Anger is no longer a strong ambition to get off my ass & work out... supplements made me realize I could drink more alcohol and I also became uaporachable, demanding, self loathing and so alcohol made the pain go away... Well I crashed...
I never knew this was a "condition" until I was Divorced in 2007. In 2005 I breifly saw a surgeon and  the surgery was not covered on my Insurance. It was an estimate of 5500.00 ........ 2 kids, a home at the time, shame, lies, drinking, & it all crashed.
I was amazed to read the stories that I was not alone...
I need some help here....
20 years ago I ate supplements like they were candy... I lost alot of weight but the breasts still ruined my thoughts....
At the time I could bearly see the success I had, but I also became a "work out" king... not at all the best, but I looked damn good... Women came & went, the lifestyle changed... but i went directly into a dependency on the supplements, women, and spending money...
My marriage was full of fantancy, lies, drinking... Nothing was ever in balance. There were never street drugs... just the behavior & the dependency issues....
Anyway... I need help here to be happy.. to accept myself... be the best Dad I can be, and get well with this condition... Food has always been my downfall/escape....
Please help me to get better... I would have the surgery today if I could afford it...

[Bman41]

I can say this, stay positive, stay on top of things, don't let it get the best of you.

I can think of a zillion things worst than Gyne, be VERY thankful you don't have things worse.  I have it a bit, so I know where you are coming from, probably fit a B-cup easily, probably nearly C.  C tad too big.  My wife is starting to notice it bothers me, but we haven't had time to talk about it.  We will, one of these days.....   I haven't honestly had to have the ridicule, I am in a professional work environment, and honestly I don't think the risk of people saying anything would benefit them, they all come to me for help a lot....  I try to cover with loser fitting shirts.

Stand tall, you still have a great purpose in life.   You have kids to worry about, do not do something silly to leave them fatherless.  Isn't worth it.  By any means.  They will still love you no matter what.

Forget the bottle, stay off of it.  Realize who is boss.  Make the decision who is in control of the situation. 

Will keep you in prayer.

Stand tall!

[Ben2cat]

Thank you...
I could go into a million different episodes of life where it all brought back my self defeating behavior because of my thought process...
I will do as you say... I have been away from the booze on & off all my life, and I am trying very hard to feel good again...
sorry to say this...absolutely mean...but even a prostitute gets more respect...
My ex wif is an animal a beast to me & does not care...
I will do whatever it takes to get the "f" over all this...
Some day I share photo's..... they are a "D" cup at least...

[dondante]

Ben2cat,

Thanks for coming on these boards, I hope they are a source of help and support for you. I do want say something though, you can check my profile links for my before and after pics to see that I had a pretty bad case of gyne. I had it fixed. I'm still the same person.

Don't get me wrong, we're all here cause this condition can be unbearable - but if you had issues before, you will continue to have issues, even if you get the gyne handled. You're right, however, when you say that your self defeating behaviour is due to your thought process - and that's the most important thing to get a handle on. For yourself and for your kids. For that, there are plenty of resources out there to help. If you have a good doctor, let him or her know what you are going through -I'm sure they can point you in the right direction. Who knows, maybe there's a chemical imbalance going on that you may not even be aware of. The great thing is that we're living in an age where we can do something about it.

I wish you the very best!

[Ben2cat]

dondante,
I looked over your photo's..... I am sorry to say but I personally would have to say your condition is minor compared to mine...
But I know the darkness with any absolutely any issue with man titis...
At the birth of my child I prayed this would not get passed on to my son... so far with the grace of  God and the wonderful Mother he has, he does not seem to have the same characteristics physically or physochologically as I do.
When I was his age I had the breasts... but at 4 years old we do not really comprehend the issue.. My son does not have it so far... Good things have come from my prayers..(he is 4)
I have had it all my life, my Father had it, my brother has it now, and he never had it until he reached puberty... ( none of this I knew until 2005 or so)
I pray my son never gets it... My ex wifes Father has it & not sure of the genetic issiues... but he was always overweight after the age of 40....
So with saying this.. like alcoholism, the children do have the genetics passed on, like cancer, heart condition, mental illness etc.
The thought of a chemical imbalance... ADD, or anxiety... I am working on all that as well as my spiritual life....
There seems to be no answers but to follow the programs available out there, as wella s the alcoholism...
Many, many things contibute to behavior, and i can honestly say gyno. is 90% of the issue...
Robs you of many things we share here... different from alcoholism.... remove the booze, get help, feel better, etc... Gyno....... this is kinds different, but in the same...
If I would have been mentally sound and aware of it, and not people pleasing for accetance, or buying a womans love, and clear in thouhgts, I could have spent that money I spent on wasting it on the surgery and really addressing it...
I did all the workouts, pep pills, energy tablets, protein drinks... spend thousands of dollars on all that... worked out and worked like a raging animal & I was still miserable, shamed, and hurt about how I looked...
Drinking made it go away... in my marriage my I simply felt shame all the time.... even at a better weight than now.. because of the breasts, the shame, the fears....
So I will see ..... right now I am still trying to face all this, and not be angry, resentful, desperate.....
I weigh the most I have ever weighed.....
I will keep coming back to change this.... I know I need support from you guys...
tHANKS