New here... 20 years old

[Lauterbrunnen]

So like a lot of you, I've been dealing with this for most of my life. When I was in my teens, I thought I was just chubby and a little bit of diet and exercise would do the trick. Now, I don't think I was ever really chubby, but that's what I told myself back then. When I turned 18, I decided to lose some weight and get into shape. But the bitch breasts would not go away. I ended up starving myself down to 99 pounds (I'm about 5'9 or 5'10). I got thrown into a fucking anorexia psych ward at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore where I spent a month of my life regaining weight. I knew I wasn't really anorexic... That was about a year and a half ago. I still watch what I eat like crazy though, because I feel like any weight gain will just make my problem worse.

So now I'm just working and saving... I've put everything on hold. I'm not taking classes next semester, because I'd rather be working and saving to fix this problem earlier in my life rather than later. I don't go out to see friends too much anymore. I quit smoking cigarettes and I stopped buying all of the other unnecessary things. Right now, I'm working about 40 hours a week, and I try to pick up extra shifts whenever I can to get the overtime. I'm looking for a second job, too. If I could put in a good 60 to 70 hours a week, saving should be no problem at all.

I'm not sure how much surgery is going to cost me... And I'm not exactly sure on how to go about all of this. As of now, I'm putting away $200 to $250 a week on average. I'm even thinking about not paying my phone bill anymore, even though I'm on a contract, because it's wasted money.

I've been self conscious of myself for way too long. I want to know what it's like to go to the beach and actually enjoy myself or be able to go outside without all of the extra layers of clothes. I want to take up swimming at school or something. I'm just sick of being so disgusted with myself that I'm serious about this now. I don't want to end up 30 years old and I haven't even really lived my life! Even if that means that I have to spend an entire year of my life of nonstop work. I'm determined. I've been bitching and crying about it in my own little world for too long and I feel like I'm going to go insane if I don't do something quick...

Well that's my story... Not much, but it feels nice to get that out there.

[frozen]

Hey man, for starters welcome to the forum!

I liked reading your story, really intersting and reminds me a lot of what I've been through - and I'm sure what many others on the forum have been through.

You might find it useful to post some pictures on here of your chest so other people can have a look and tell you what they think. While you're at it take a look around and find some people that have posted up pre-op and then post-op pictures. I've found that helped me a lot as I've seen pictures of peoples chest that look a LOT like mine and they recieved really good results after surgery.
Good luck with the saving up, I've just about got enough money in my savings so I'm going to book a consultation with Dr. Karidis ASAP. Just need to find a way to let my parents know what I'm doing!

[headheldhigh01]

I got thrown into a fucking anorexia psych ward at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore where I spent a month of my life regaining weight. I knew I wasn't really anorexic...

that's whacked.  did they ever figure out the real reason you were doing this, or did they waste their time and have no clue? 

I quit smoking cigarettes and I stopped buying all of the other unnecessary things.

that's when you know, as the brits put it, a guy's serious about getting this sorted.  part of the things that make it a useful read for everyone else.  welcome to the boards.