Telling the parents.... sort of.

[Bain-of-my-life]

Ok so basically I used my mums ebay account (With my card) to buy a compression vest as I never thought id be able to go to the doctors and speak to someone about it. Anyway, the vest arrived when I was out (2 mins down the road at a friends) and they were in and she opened it and immediately phoned me and asked if I could come home quickly. When I saw her sitting their with the package my heart sunk and I was obviously embaressed, but they were not angry at all, and instead were fully supportive and said that they thought something was bothering me and that I need to get surgery (They found out some info from embaressing bodies), and after I told them the chances of getting it on the NHS are low, and that it costs £4000 they even suggested down-sizing the house, and that they would do anything to help me! I always knew they would understand, but I just couldn't tell them face to face..... perhaps it was faith that they found out this way?

I told them I will try and get the surgery in the NHS, but if not I wont let them sell the house, but we will split the cost of the surgery when I get a job over summer. Any advice on how to convince the GP to refer you? Im going to say it hurts to run and then say about how its crippled my life socially for the past 5-6 years? Fingers crossed I guess!

Anyway, man up like I didn't and tell your parents! Perhaps they wont be as understanding as mine were but by god its worth a try. We were all crying when I was explaining what happened and the general consensus was "Why the hell didn't you tell us earlier!". 

[Raider Fan]

Welcome to gyne.org., BOML!  Great post!  And great advice.  

This is a great example of how our fears are much worse in our mind than in reality.  And in reality, MOST parents would do anything to help their child...if they can.  Parents aren't going to think less of their own children!  The last thing any parent would want is for their child to be experiencing any kind of pain or embarrassment.  Contrary to what most young people think, their parents were once young, too!  And every person on this earth has experienced the pain of being embarrassed....socially, or embarrassed among our peers.  We've ALL experienced that and there's just nothing worse.  So parents can most definitely relate to that because they are human beings.  Most parents will do anything to spare their child such heartache.

The key when discussing gyne with parents is that, more often than not, YOU know MUCH more about gyne than they do.  So you have to educate them; maybe even ask them to visit this site so they can read for themselves.  Yes, before they are educated about gyne, a dad might make an ignorant statement like, "Well, you just need to lose weight and workout," or "I've heard of that and I think it'll go away.....so don't worry about it."  

They can't help having these ideas....it's just what people think when they don't know about something.  So it's up to YOU to inform them.  

Good luck.  I bet just having your parents know about this now makes you feel better.  Now you can get on with having the problem corrected!

[Bain-of-my-life]

Haha you are spot on. My mum was like, maybe you should try swimming, its really good for toning the whole body!  But then I showed her its tissue predominantly and not fat so she kind of understands now I guess. I think another good way of letting your parents know would be by writing a letter/note and just leaving in on kitchen surface or somewhere they will find it adressed to mum and dad or whoever you wish to tell. This way you can sort of build up a case and get exactly what you wanted to across to them, without getting too embaressed about talking face to face with them. I think the hardest part is breaking the ice!

[Raider Fan]

Anything that will enable a son to communicate with his parents is a good way to do it, in my opinion.  You're right, a letter would be fine.  Even sending your own parents an email would be good.  Sometimes a nicely composed letter is the best way to go because you have time to write it, change it, and include everything you want to say.  There are no interruptions and no feelings of embarrassment.  You just tell them what you need (and want) to tell them. 

[unhappy123]

I'm thinking of telling my parents today  (after 5 years of hiding) I'm really nervous but your post really made me feel better. Thank you!