Somewhere Near Acceptance

[nigel]

In my teens, I started developing man breasts (I wouldn't know the term gynecomastia until my late 20s). As a kid, I was constantly picked on. Part of this had to do with my breasts, but I was also overweight, quiet, shy, lack self confidence, and being gay (although I wasn't out but my peers could tell) As I moved from junior high to high school, a lot of the self confidence issues changed. I became a member of the football team (defensive lineman), became an honor student, and somehow became one of the mid-level popular kids (still not sure how that happened). I still had the breasts but had found a way to cover them up with clever clothing choices.

In college, I came out and dated. I also lost weight. At my heaviest, I weighed 320 pounds and by the time I finished my master's degree, I was 260 pounds. I moved from the south to NYC where I began work on my PhD. Also, I started going to the gym regularly and built muscle tone as well as dropping more weight. At my lightest, I was 225 pounds.

As a gay man in NYC, I was certain that I would be out of the dating market but not so. I had no problem getting dates, and most men generally liked the breasts. I remember one guy who was super muscular and should have been on the cover of a fitness magazine who loved them. He couldn't believe they were mine, and he couldn't stay away from them. My experience was so positive that it increased my confidence. Eventually, I met a guy who would be my partner. We enjoyed each other company but I was still apprehensive when I took my shirt off for the first time in his presence. He was fine, and we are still together nearly 13 years later. And while I have a wonderful supportive partner and family, great career and terrific friends, I am still somewhat bother by my gynecomastia.

I'm not a swimmer but when I go to the beach, I won't take off my shirt. I go the gym regularly but won't change in the locker room (I live close to my gym and just wear my workout clothes to and from). I am still very consciously aware of my clothing options. When I lived in NYC, I met with Dr. Jacobs about the surgery. I was excited about the possibility but I had to question why I would still get it done. In the end, I chose not to but that was largely because I couldn't see spending the money on the surgery when I could use it to take a great vacation to France, Italy or Australia. So, I didn't do it. Yet, I still think about it at times.

Last year, I turned 40 and by and large, I feel great and am pleased with my life. I eat healthy (for the most part with the exception of a pack of Little Debbies--damn her--every now and then), go the gym regularly, laugh daily and surround myself with positive people.

As of now, I still not certain if I will get the surgery or not. I do know that I am closer to complete acceptance than I had ever been but there are still moments when I wish I was comfortable taking my shirt off. I suppose it is a learning process, and I'm still learning.

[Paa_Paw]

I was lean, not generally athletic, and not gay. Even so, there are many things we have in common. I did not date seriously until in my 30s and finally married at the age of 36. I was nearing 50 years of age before the surgical methods provided consistantly really good results and by then my priorities had changed. Now nearing 75, surgery is not even remotely likely. It is truly a great day when a person accepts themself for who and what they are.

[Neil123]

Hi, my story is almost identical to yours except I am not gay and was never that overweight. One thing to clarify/let's be honest about. we know why we don't take our shirts off at the beach. simply because people would stare and that's not very pleasant WHETHER YOU HAVE HIGH CONFIDENCE OR LOW. Hence perhaps we are doing the right thing(?)

[livelife]

Ok, I am new to this site and was looking form other men that have the same condition as I do. At this point I don't want to say how tall, how large and how big my situation stands at this point. I am very concerned at all of the hooplah surrounding the doctors advertisements ------------>>> I have had my condition for 8 years and I have no problem accepting what has happened to me in any way. I lost my testicles due to an accident and take hrt. I have only read a few postings on here and I am astounded by the fear mongering that occurs here. Would you look at a person with a disability and say at least go to the surgeon to fix your stuttering and cut out your tongue. It may offend someone. How about we go give someone a leg transplant because they lost theirs in a car accident and it offends others watching. Relly? This is over the top but, you get my point. Why not try to inform and educate people about the condition we all share. IS it fat, is it glandular is it a medical condition? Just answer people. Why do we have to change and shape our bodies because there are so many ignorant people out there that don't know any better? Teach, educate and inform the people that stare. Someone might just get it and spred the word. I choose not to cower down and let other people run my life. I live with this body, you don't. I like me for me and thats too bad if you don't. Acceptance? Acceptance is for the ignorant masses that are not informed. I am who I am and that all that I am. (popeye)

[hammer]

I lost my testicals too! To keep this this short I won't go into details it is in "my story after all these years"however I have said to guys how have commented about my big double Ds , LOSE YOUR NUTS AND SEE HOW BIG YOUR BOOBS GET! They will either get real sympathetic or embarrassed.

Bob

[Paa_Paw]

livelife,

That has been my point for a very long time. We need to educate people and when they understand the condition of gynecomastia there will no longer be any stigma.

The opening up of the internet held the promise of getting good informaion out world wide at incredible speed. In actual practice, bad information also spreads fast and since it is often more sensational the truth often gets buried. This has happened with information about Gynecomastia and the result is that an embarrassment has become a major emotional roadblock for a generation of young men.

To get here and find the truth, you probably had to wade through pages of misinformation and advertisements for numerous phoney cures.

[Alchemist]

I lost my testicals too! To keep this this short I won't go into details it is in "my story after all these years"however I have said to guys how have commented about my big double Ds , LOSE YOUR NUTS AND SEE HOW BIG YOUR BOOBS GET! They will either get real sympathetic or embarrassed.

Bob

Hi Bob,

Starting at between D and DD anyway, I don't intend to get either kind of chop job.  I guess if I had to have by balls removed perhaps it would make a difference.  My testosterone level fell through the floor shortly after I had the vitamin deficiency crash at 39.  Made no difference to breast size.  I've been on testosterone replacement for 13 years now and that has made no size difference. No drug, no nothing has ever made a difference since they grew as a teen. Gaining or loosing weight makes about 1 cup size in subcutaneous fat. They are as they are.  I'm having the best time of my life now, reasonably healthy for the first time, finally at 65. I had my gall badder out.  That was miserable.  There is no way I would do a cosmetic double mastectomy for something that is of no concern to me.  So hang in there and don't let the bastards wear you down.  Do what YOU feel best about, not what some idiot expresses about other people's bodies.