First of all let me say thank you to my community for the strong support during this operation of mine for Gynecomastia. It has been a real opener to how amazing a community can come together behind one person. So thank you Hammer Squad.
When I was around 12 years old I started to notice certain things about my body changing. Obviously puberty hits but I also noticed that my chest was unusually bigger then the other boys around me. I seen some overweight kids with big bodies we are all young right? But my chest was just big. Now I didn't let it bother me. My mom took me to the doctors and they said it's just something you get through genetics or puberty and it should go away as I grow up. My parents mind you came here from Cuba in 1980, not very educated so any kind of condition I may have had they were not prepared or well versed to handle. A lot of the kids never really made fun of me in school or bullied me. I was a pretty big kid 5'9 by age of 11 and back then you didn't have the kind of bullying you see today through cyber space or at schools. (I'm 34 born in 80)
So growing up I kind of just dealt with fact that I have bigger breasts then other guys. Around 14/15 we had a basketball league BYOC i think it was called. I can remember it like it was 2 hours ago lol. We were getting prepared for a normal game and the coach calls skins vs shirts. I was skins. It wasn't until that day I realized I had a problem. Some of the other dudes laughed a little, silly jokes here and there, I just went along with it. hahaha yeah bouncy boobs. I went home that day looked in mirror and it hit me hard that something just wasn't right. I was in shape, had toned body, and had big breasts. It wasn't till then that it started to hit me as mental issue. Instead of wearing normal white, blue shirts, I started wearing black. I started to wear overly sized button downs that were baggy so you couldn't see.
During high school it would take me about 20 minutes to get clothe on cause I was never satisfied with ANYTHING I would wear. I had a gf and I had bigger breast then she did. That caused me even more mental strain. I played 3 sports and just to wear the jerseys or shirts for sports I would wear 3 layers of black then my team shirt. It was pretty silly but I hated the way I looked. Basically black was best friend.
At end of Highschool I decided ok let me go real hard in the gym and see if I can really "grow" out of it. So I from about winter 98 to to summer 99 I dropped from 240 pounds to 185. STILL as rest of my body was built toned up I had the SAME SIZED BOOBS. I went to a doctor at 22, and he forwarded me to a plastic surgeon. He tells me finally what I have. Gynecomastia. He goes on to tell me that it could have been due to steroids or anabolics. (which i never took) genetic or a hormonal imbalance. My family at the time was super poor. I was homeless for a good year a few years before this and could not affor the 11k at the time to get it done.
I started to see how Gyno affected my life. I started to become less "smart." I couldn't compute proper sentences because in back of mind all I thought about was the gyno. When I played online games Half Life at the time, instead of concentrating on my clan matches I would be adjusting my shirt 70 times an hour. When I was with my ex gf at the time or out on a date I couldn't really concentrate on listening to her because my mind could only thing of the gyno. This condition started to engulf my life. At work my production went down as years passed from 23-28 when I was let go. Even though I had a lot of good memories growing up Gyno was always in back of my haunting me making mme doubt everything I do.
When I was about 27 or so my best friend died of cancer. He was my gaming buddy for a long time 10+ years. It was like losing a brother. I went into a deep depression. Drinking bottles of EJ black berry brandy like it was water. Eating 8k calories a day. At that point I didn't a give a shit about Gyno. I shot up from 230 to about 320 in a year and didn't give a rats ass about my chest cause now my belly aligned perfectly with my boobs. BUT I still wore black and still took 30 minutes to dress everyday. Gyno 50 | Rob 0.
So in came streaming. Streaming was my way out of the Gyno. It was finally the first hobby to make me concentrate on something other than my chest. I was a bad ass 350 pound dude behind a keyboard playing video games. Then I started to get paid for it! WHAT darn yeah. Even more shit to make not think about the Gyno. (I have an amazing girlfriend Lula who by the way has stuck with me as a poor man with no money 400 plus pounds to what I am today. Love her very much and she is my world.) At first my GF did not approve of the streaming to make money but it ended up working out. So the main game I play is World of Warcraft. I grew such an ego behind this PC. By 2011 I had a semi successful stream. I then attended my first LIVE event Blizzcon 2011. It wasn't until this event that the Gyno hit me in the head for a 600th time in my life. I went had fun met tons of fans and signed shirts then I saw this after the event:
imgur.com/z0BHswm,eAGRU3b,iR2kGWd#1
I felt disgusting. 420 pounds boobs hanging down to my stomach. I can't believe I met my viewers like this. I knew something had to change. So I started a diet juicing diet. Now mind you I decided to finally get a webcam for my stream. And if you watch any early videos even up until 2 weeks ago you see only from neck up or upper chest up. Gyno affected my stream A LOT. How I became successful on Twitch is beyond me. Any cast of mine you can notice I look at myself in camera about 40 times a cast. You will see my eyes peek to xsplit/obs obsessed making sure you can't see my man boobs. This made raiding tough for me. I would cause wipes from not concentrating on bosses. I would miss important chat messages and much more. When I get up to get water I kinda turn away and lunge forward. When I talk I sound retarded cause I interrupt myself mid thought and adjust my tshirt or look at the camera. At public cons I can never wear like a twitch purple tshirt or any sponsor clothe because the boobs just show SO much. I lost 170 pounds and still had same sized boobs I did when I was 15/21/24/28/33. Twitch would ask me if I wanted to do some live events at PAX I said NO because I didn't want to be in front of thousands looking like this. So many missed opportunities in life just cause this Gyno clouded my mind.
Finally this year I said darn it. I can't keep going on like this letting a condition I have no control over rule my life and my way of thinking. I talked to a few surgeons got one who is very qualified and went ahead and got the Gyno surgery.
youtube.com/towelliee tons of videos here including some from actual surgery [NSFL] obviously.
When I got the surgery I felt like the world was more clear. My mind was more clear. I could listen to every word being said to me in a conversation and it made sense. I started doing online IQ puzzle tests and did 50% better then before. I started to network and stand up for myself to certain people and companies and spoke my mind. No longer is Gyno ruling me. I can stand up and attack analyze any situation with ease right now as I type this. I feel more alive and confident than ever in my life. I am wearing shirt and it is not hanging on my boobs its hanging on my BODY and against a flat chest.
This is almost like an entire rebirth at the age of 34. When I went under the knife my old self conscious Rob died. I woke up the same Rob but with better vision and outlook on life.
If it wasn't for you all who sub and support me everyday this could never have happened. if it wasn't for my amazing GF Lula standing behind me through good and the bad this could have never happened.
Thank you community for helping me through one of the toughest phases in my life.
Topic: My Story with Gynecomastia Life & Streaming (Read 2181 times)
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