Your new breast and how you dress

[Athena12@]

Since my wife died I have found myself loving women clothes and I now wear gender neutral clothes all the time.  Have any of you had these desires/feeling?

[aboywithgirls]

Athena, I am sorry for your loss. 

I have been moving towards women's clothing more out of fit that color. Women's pants and tops just fit better. I have the room that I need not only for my breasts,  but even more importantly, for my hips and bottom. 

Torrid and Lane Bryant have some terrific gender neutral styles that I can wear without looking totally like a woman. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just wearing clothing that flatters rather than looking sloppy is nice.

[gmast]

I have found myself loving women clothes

In the past this forum was about acceptance of wearing a bra, It was not about cross dressing.  Although, unfortunately, instead of finding a suitable web site, several posters keep bringing it up here.  ABoyWithGirls once asked why people don't want people to know they wear bras.  This attitude is exactly way many of us don't want other to know that they wear a bra.   We are not effeminate, we are not cross dressers, nor some kind of pervert. This forum is supposed to provide support to people looking for help acceptance on wearing bras, but now has posts like where one of the big posters with gynecomastia suggests that having breasts leads to cross dressing.  Guys wearing bras are stigmatized enough without this kind of 'support'.

[brock123]

I agree with you in principal, but I also think that sometimes it's better to just ignore and/or not respond to posts where the individual is clearly reaching out for emotional support.

This stuff can be HARD.  I'm seemingly on the other side of the condition that brought me here now, per the ol' measuring tape ("B" to "AA"! woot!) and a renewed ability to wear my shirts without anything underneath them, and I truly hope that when my appointment(s) finally come due with the proper doctors this life event becomes something that "happened" instead of "is happening", but I think it's important to recognize that anyone here is here for a reason rooted in a search for some type of support.

"Support" is most likely to mean physical male breast/tissue support and how to deal with that, but for those where the condition will/may be permanent, I think it's also important to support them emotionally.

@Athena12, I am also sorry for your loss. My particular journey has, at times, led me down the same path.  I don't dislike how I look in women's clothes, but society would think otherwise and that has prevented me from exploring it any further than the confines of my own basement.  Being a male with very high estrogen (and ironically, Testosterone too) levels, at times I have absolutely found myself looking at true feminization options, but at the end of the day the trigger is never pulled.  I admire your honesty and ability to accept who you are.  I can only wish for that right now.

I would also LOVE to see a thread that says "If you're a man with boobs just wear this and nobody will ever know - kthx", but we are all different.  Maybe it's the hormones still screwing with me, but I think we should at least be adult enough to know when someone is reaching out, and have the capability to help them.  People are people, we all have our imperfections, and we all need to work with and support each other.  Otherwise those damn Crows will take over

[Athena12@]

I agree with most of what has been said here, but the only reason I wear women's jean is that they are the only ones that fit my new form.  I am still a mans man but I buy what fits.  Half of my shirts are men's but because I can not find them very often so I buy women's shirts. Nobody likes buying clothes that just don't fit. My old shirts hang on me like drape and me look like I am half dead. I do not like that look. The only difference between a men's and women's plaid shirt is the way the buttons hook up and no one ever notices that and todays women's jeans are just like men's jeans except the zipper tends to be smaller and for me they fit better after my weight lose. I think ABWG would agree with me on that.  You buy clothes that fit your body just like you buy a bra that fits your breast.

[MarcoB]

Some men take hair loss extremely hard.  To me, it was no big deal.  Others hardly raise an eyebrow about getting overweight.  If I couldn't help getting overweight, I'd be devastated.  We here share a breast issue men aren't supposed to have, and we are trying to solve a problem, sometimes just a practical one of comfort and function, sometimes an emotional one, sometimes both.  For me, it's the former.  Maybe I would have a huge emotional problem if I were at the huge cup size some members here are; but so far I can only grab a small handful.  Hopefully it won't advance from there.  I need a bra for avoiding pain though, and I personally want it to be invisible, partly for the sake of others, especially young people.  I remember quite well the ideas, attitudes, and images it used to conjure up in my own mind years ago before all of that was changed by the unfortunate experience of my last few years.  I remember the mystery and whispers about bras when I was a teenager.  Although I'm not as concerned anymore with others think of me, I remember well how the effect on me would have been if I had seen a man in a bra back then without my being educated about it (even though my not-very-modest grandmother occasionally used to point out busty men and say, "He needs a brassiere!").  Then you have the giggling young girls.  There are others also who won't understand.  It was bad enough four years ago when I gouged my knee open in an accident, and went to Home Depot the first day I had the bandage off and an 8YO girl who was with her father stared at it for a long time, obviously disturbed.  Certain things just don't do a favor to others; so I'll avoid making a show, if I can.  I remember reading on a forum (I don't think it was this one) of a slim boy with severe gynecomastia in his early teens who was at maybe a 32DD and very much needed a bra, and the high-school principal was saying "We absolutely cannot have a boy wearing a bra!" (probably not having seen the extent of the reality).  I really felt sorry for the boy, knowing how cruel kids can be.  What could he do?  Was homeschool even a possibility?  He can't hide from life.  It took 25 years before even sports bras started becoming acceptable as outerwear for women.  (Before that they were strictly to be covered.)  Perhaps as the internet helps people become more aware and understanding of gynecomastia, social acceptance will grow to where what we wear doesn't make people go nuts.  Until then, I'm going to be careful, although I don't condemn anyone whose breasts cannot be hidden so you just make the best of it.  Best wishes to all.

[SideSet]

I applaud accepting, supportive  comments here. Not impressed with critical, judgmental ones. Last time I looked, this was supposed to be a support group for men with breasts who not only accept, but also might even embrace, them. 

Thank you for sharing, Athena. I believe you should feel free to discuss wearing whatever fits and feels best on you and that you look best in

[aboywithgirls]

Thank you Sideset for supporting those of us who dress according to what works for us.

Anyone who doesn't wish to add or contribute to a post by anyone of us is free to look past the post. 

Let's keep it supportive. 

[Moobzie]

"whatever floats your boat" as some say.
But it helped me to understand this whole phenomena better when I realized that gyro is "a" symptom, and NOT "the" symptom. It is a 'system' issue.

When our endocrine system causes us to develop breasts it may also impact other aspects - not usually noticeable at first:
softer muscles, smoother skin, reduced body hair, and fat accumulation / distribution morphing our angles into curves, ....
While my orientation is totally hetero, these other effects have affected my clothing tastes - based exclusively on comfort.  And yes, often clothes associated with / for women are more comfortable and fit better.  Obviously this can cause issues for us.
But we should support the members.  It was helpful for me when a lady I'm acquainted with professionally noticed my gyno - my outer shirt had opened - and I apologized for possibly offending her, and briefly explained what the condition is and how I'd gotten it (side effects from cardiac meds).  She said something that helped me a lot: "So what?  Just own it."  No condemnation, nor did she appear 'grossed out', just matter of factual accepting.  Like I said, that helped me a lot.    

[OHboobs]

No, not flt any need to start cross dressing.  Though years of thinking bras and panties should match have me occasionally thinking I should get some bras that match my underwear.  But then I realize that would just make the bra easier to see through clothing so that thought goes away quickly.

If others want to wear more feminine bras and clothing, more power to them.  But it should also be recognized that there are plenty of us who do not want to wear those things, and that we'd rather not draw any attention to our breasts.  There have been some members that seem to be trying to get us to wear bras that make our breasts look bigger and wear shirts that draw more attention to our breasts, even after we've made our wishes known.  And honestly, it's a bit creepy.  If someone is looking for a bra to help control and minimize their breasts and doesn't show under their clothing, don't go suggesting wearing push up bras, bras that will easily show under their shirts or shirts that will show a bit of cleavage.  Understand that everyone is at their own place when it comes to their breasts, and none of those places is wrong.

[Athena12@]

In no case has my wearing neutral gender clothing drawn notice except when I bought A new car (to me a 2019 Chevy Impala Premier) has anybody comment on my dress.  The young salesmen there did comment on my shoes (women boots) were very styles and had a blast that an old man was that cool. No one commented about my breast or choice of clothing since it was gender neutral.  So NO I am note trying to show that I am crossdressing.  If I wanted to do that I would wear a skirt or a dress, which I do not do nor ever will do!.

[CoffeeAndCake]

Agreed. While I once agreed with hammer and others who were adamant in arguing the men here who filter in and use the site as a source to discuss their femininity vs their breasts and use it as a lure to try and catch others who are here but don’t speak up to eventually grab those who cross dress although are comfortable in women’s clothing more than men’s has come and gone for me

The men here are wearing women’s jeans and shirts or unisex style blouses. They are not shaving legs wearing heels lipstick and dresses they are not buying wigs and assigning a feminine name to their username or tag lines they are not talking to those in agreement with them here by a female name or pronouns to enhance the feminine touch to the topic they are simply wearing clothes that fit better that is not cross dressing that is simply dressing around the circumstance given to deal with. 

I also agreed before my chest went from a. lil budding to a full 34b cup which isn’t huge but big enough in my 5 11 175frame to consider the same options especially going from a job I had to a office job I now have where the attire for me is a dress shirt daily and men’s shirts are not fitted for my b cups unless I want the obvious to be seen so I have some women’s tops that were honestly the same shirt as the men’s section same color scheme patter and all just a diff material and buttons on other side which was annoying as F to learn. 

I do think there are dudes here who are full of it and just adding to conversation who aren’t adding to their bust line but it is what it is it comes with the territory in these conversations where a safe space to fantasize and such comes. But either ignore it or scroll past it if you think someone is. No need to bash or condemn or get mad. 

To all of us trying to make the best of a breast situation keep on trucking like 4 wheel drive whether you wear a blouse or ok with the tent poles of a male shirt with sizable breasts especially with bras 

[p.r.1974]

Karma will not be kind to those that condemn others that are genuinely looking for support that they have received in another dialect themselves.

[DW20]

I only wish to be recognised as 100% male.
However with a change in hormone profile other parts of my body have become more feminine (fat distribution is definitely more female) as a result womens  trousers fit better, womens shirt style top are cut to accommodate boobs and avoid the bursting buttons look. Materials used are often softer with a greater degree of "give" in the material. These considerations mean I gravitate to womens aisle more and more as first choice. Colours go in and out of fashion so great bargains exist at end of season. Here in UK Marks and Spencer items are often available via ebay at end of season .My most recent purchase  of TWO pairs of their premium "Per Una" label  cost 22GBP!! I could not buy 1 pair of mens at that price and similar quality so it also makes economic sense.

I wear a bra because I need one, and wear a lot of womens  clothes because they fit better.
Last thought: The clothes are bought by myself, ergo they are men's!!

[SideSet]

Only natural that you would want clothing that fits your shape, feels best, looks best on you. Have you tried wearing leggings? They are really comfy