15 year old - waiting assessment - current situation

[Bailey K]

Hi 

I wanted some advice on my current situation. 

I’m 15, will be 16 in June. So obviously at high school - or was until Coronavirus cancelled my exams and I’m due to start college in September . 

My chest started to develop at 13, I’m Average size and 5 ft 8.I had been hiding things , my mum I think sensed something was wrong. My older brother is a bit of an alpha and at university wanting to follow my dads footsteps into the navy. My older sister (17) is sporty. So I was definitely in their shadow. 

Last year my mum just came in my bedroom to drop clean washing in, I didn’t hear the knock and she saw my chest as I was still putting a t shirt  on. I’d been hiding the bumps with t shirts and jumpers or shirts. She was great , there were tears but she reassured that we would get it sorted. 

A week  or so later went to the GP who suggested gynecomastia, said it normally resolved but sent me to the hospital. There was a long wait and I saw a doctor there who was setting up tests . The problem is that these are now all on hold because of the coronavirus.

From last year , after she knew, mum had bought me some “ Nike Tank Top” for my chest to compress it. I realised they were sports bras. I think she thought I would feel better as they were Nike and had the logo. They have worked as the compressed it down and reduced the bump under my blazer and shirt / jumper. At home I tend to wear baggy jumpers. It does make things feel hot and uncomfortable by the end of the day. I was taking off the Nike top when I got home. 

Last year, my sister spotted the Nike Sports Bras coming out of the washing and realising they weren’t hers. So my sister realised that I have been wearing them.  To be fair she has been fine. she knew I had a bit of a chest.  With my Dad away a lot (and he’s supportive) she’s good and my brother is now living back with us. He knew I was in the hospital to see the specialist and knows the bra compression situation but I can tell he looks at my chest and not me. 

During the Christmas holidays my mum took me to one side and said she could see I was uncomfy with my chest. She produced a bag from the supermarket  which had a few proper bras in. She talked me into trying one and my chest really fills an a cup bra. She switched and pulled a b cup one which fitted better. I looked in the mirror with the horror that I had b cup breasts. At the time I couldn’t face wearing them and kept up my routine but my mum put the b cup one in my draw next to the Nikes. 

By late January, my chest was getting a bit sore as it’s got used to being compressed and supported. They were jiggling away at night at home and the nipples were getting chaffed.  I tried on the bra when the family were out and it was comfier. It just freaks me to see my chest like that.

I forgot and put it in the wash and as if by magic a few more appeared in my draw. My mum suggested just wearing these at home to support and stop them moving- and the Nike’s when I go out to try  and hide them. She just keeps saying “ you inherited your chest, your like your sister , solid b cup”. And we are hoping that they can do something at the hospital but now this seems all delayed indefinitely. Its what she said next that sticks with me. She said “ any girl with b cup breasts would need to be wearing a bra all the time”.

So I have been wearing the normal bra around the house. Generally still with a t shirt and sweatshirt . Its comfy. My back feels better and they don’t jiggle. 

Trouble now is that the Nike sports tops  feel really compressed. In March I just thought fu*# it and started wearing the normal supermarket bras with just a t shirt or jumper. One is pretty plain but the other two look a bit more girly. Again, magically a package appeared on my bed with a note from my mum. If you are starting to wear them with t shirts you’ll need to try these. T shirt bras! Who knew such a thing existed. A google search later revealed to me why. I tried one and I’m sure it makes them look bigger still. My mum says, “look it’s for round the house, makes you feel better, it’s only till they see you at the hospital. You can’t be having nippples sticking out infront of your brother . But face facts,at current rate it could be September or October so you we are going to have to manage”.  

I have actually been coping with it quite well. I have a mate (male) from school who has been good. He’s jokey about it. But we just play on the computer to be honest. Now I find him looking at my chest. He did ask if he could feel .... I sort of let him. And he jokingly tried to pull the bra strap. But he says he’s keeping it secret. 

My other friend is a girl in our year who lives a a street away. We had to do two course work projects together.  She guessed and could see I was chesty , I think she saw the outline. I told her about the Nike tops in confidence. She has been round to mine even when I have been in the normal bras and just said I looked more comfortable and I was the same size as her. Atleast I didn’t have to put up with the other things girls do. She gave me one of her bras to try , a wonder bra. Let’s just say we were both shocked by the result.  But at least it’s someone I can chat to, relax and not worry if they can see the straps or nipples. 

My brother does stare at my chest but he would defend me if anyone dare say anything. My sister is equally as supportive , to the point of joking telling me to keep my hands off her bras and lingerie. The family just treat it like normal. 

So on the scale of things I can cope for now. I don’t have a lot of option. Just not sure where I go from here or get through. My sister is suggesting I grow my hair a bit longer still to appear more “ambiguous”, given I will be at college in September. And I’m hoping they don’t get bigger than they currently are ! But she says I could dress more ambiguously to get away with it and just use the sports tops when I’m at college. That doesn’t mean pop a dress on but just develop a look that is a bit more .... ambiguous I guess. I figure I can’t keep compressing my breasts down all the time - it’s just uncomfy and getting impractical. They are sticking out in a Nike Sports bra. 

Plus, summer is coming and I can’t face another summer of jumper wearing round the house. If coronavirus restrictions are lifted, we had flights booked to go to my mums friends villa in the Canaries again. I need a strategy for dealing with that. If it’s just round the pool at the villa then my sister was suggesting wearing a swim suit or swim suit top. Which really is going to be obvious. I can cope with shorts and t shirt but again it will be obvious. My sister said shave your legs and if you have long hair , it will be ambiguous. 

What strategy have others had or would try in this situation. 

I’m comfy to an extent wearing the Nike compression sports bra tops for a time and the normal support bras round the house. But given any further tests and hopefully surgery will be delayed, am I looking at just heading down the ambiguous strategy? 

[JohannK]

Welcome.

The concensus is that gyne that sets in with puberty either goes away within two years, or they're for life.  So I think it's safe to say your breasts won't go away by themselves, leaving surgery as the only way to get rid of them.  I have to say though, many people are not happy with the results of surgery, and it's not without risks.  Do make sure to discuss it at length with your parents, so they can help you with the right decision.  In the end, you'll have to live with your body for the rest of your life, so make sure that the matter is not rushed.

That said, I'm sure you'll get lots of help in the acceptance subforum in the mean time.  There are people ranging from barely A cup, all the way up (he left the forum, but I think it was Hammer who at one point wore H cup).  And most people there have had decades to figure out what to wear, what not, and how to disguise or embrace their breasts.

[paulpark21]

Instead of ambiguous, the word (look) is androgynous.    As an senior I have come to term with my breasts (a B cup) but being young this condition can cause a lot of angst.  For now, do what  is more physically comfortable.  For the most part, bras can be hidden by the use of darker colored tops, patterned top and tops that are size larger than you usually wear.  This can enable you to wear a bra all the time and get rid of the compression garments.  When this virus thing settles down, you can see what your doctor recommend.  One good thing is you girl friends acceptance of the bra wearing.  Many freak out about a man who wears a bra, regardless that he needs it.

As far as swimming goes, just a plain dark tee will help

Good luck

[Paa_Paw]

I've been there and done that. 

The difference is that it was a very long time ago and surgery was not a good option in 1949 when I was 12 years old.

Most bras exist to perform one of three purposes. They offer support and comfort. They limit movement caused by activity. They highlight and project.  

You want a different set of priorities. Comfort and support would be nice. Limiting movement is also nice. But after that you have a totally different concern. You want a bra that will minimize the apparent size of the breasts.

Talk to your Mum about a consultation with a professional fitter who understands your specific needs. 

[blad]

As I know well, developing breasts in your teen years is tough. 

You appear to have great family support and seem to have adapted well to accepting the benefits of wearing a bra full time. I am sure your already strong confidence will only grow.

I am very satisfied that I chose to wear a bra over any surgery. 

[zink]

I developed in my early teens (probably around 13, similar to you) and didn't talk to anyone about it except for the GP until I was already down the road to surgery at around age 19. I was too ashamed and worried to mention it. In hindsight I wish I had talked about it with my family sooner, as they were very supportive. So I'm happy you have been able to be open about it with your family and a few friends - it's so much better to have someone understand you're problems than to live with it by yourself.

I'm glad you have been able to live with it more comfortably and I wish you all the best.

If you do decide to think about surgery, the doctors may recommend you wait until end of your teens before considering surgery, to make sure your body isn't growing too much more. It will seem like an agony to wait 2 years at your age, but trust me you will have the rest of your life to enjoy and barely remember it later on in life.