I’m very sorry to hear of your health problems, but happy to learn that you are getting back to your old self.
I can definitely back up what you say about hormonal changes. In some respects I think that the physical effects are less profound than the way it affects us mentally and emotionally. Most disconcerting is that a shifting hormonal balance can change our behaviour in subtle but significant ways that we ourselves may be unaware of, even though the changes may seem very evident to those around us.
I have also had issues with depression, and this eventually led to me being diagnosed with extremely low testosterone levels. The TRT I was put on has eventually helped a great deal, but it took me a while to get there. It was really only after I got my testosterone level up somewhat that I realised just what a dark place I had been in for such a long time. While I was being affected by the deficiency I just felt utterly miserable but did not understand why.
Also, I discovered that once you start changing one hormone level, it triggers unpredictable changes to others, and these can influence us emotionally too. In my case, things seem to have settled down and I am now much more stable and at ease with myself, but it was such hard going for a while, and it does put real pressure on our relationships and day-to day life.
Another consequence of TRT has been my breast development. I look at my chest now and can feel pretty good about it, because it reminds me how it really is no big deal living with gynecomastia when compared with the emotional turmoil that preceded my diagnosis. When I find myself fretting about whether my breasts are obvious to others, or worrying that somebody might spot my bra strap, I try to remind myself of that.
I wish you well with your recovery. I am glad that you were able to ask for help with your troubles, and that you are getting some support. I’m sure like me you must find the compassion and concern expressed by everyone here is a real help. Just knowing that there are others dealing with the same problems can sometimes give us the strength we need to move forward.
