Rude people

[Justagirl💃]

I'm sure we all have had our share, and I was served two servings yesterday.

I attend a medical day-centre during the week (I'm disabled), and they are adamant on addressing me as a male (religious based business).
They of course know my medical history, and the fact that I'm intersex but that information is not shared with other participants.

Yesterday morning over coffee another participant starts yelling 'sissy boy' at me from across the room. This went on for quite awhile. Meanwhile the bloody staff did nothing (they must share his sentiments).

He finally tired of not receiving any response or support I suppose, and stopped.

The day went fairly well after that until evening. I ordered food to be delivered, and the delivery driver 'clocked me'.
He could have just been polite, but decided to be vocal about it.
Another rather harsh inconvenience of living in Texas.

Twice in one day! I believe I set a personal record. 😳

[p.r.1974]

I have never had polite words for bullies. And I lack the patience and the crayons to explain this to them. They are willfully ignorant, and not worth the cost to our calm.

[benusa]

This reminded me of when I was a teen and stopped at a traffic light. A tall truck pulled up beside me and the passengers noticed my boobs since the seatbelt was across them. The guy driving, two girls and guy in backseat all started yelling at me and taunting me, throwing trash. They looked college age or older. I was sandwiched on all sides by cars and had to endure it for a few minutes. That was a day I felt really defeated and depressed because I didn’t have the money or parental support to get surgery. I had surgery when I got to college and years later met the driver. I couldn’t forget his face.

[WPW717]

I laugh at bullies and call them out on their behavior.

I do this after I explain to them that people shouldn’t mistake politeness for weakness.

The looks of confusion that they display warms my innards 

[gotgyne]

Since the year 2000 I wear my medical compression pantyhose in public with shorts. I had laughters but not much. Usually it came from teenagers, especially girls, sometimes from drunken men, once it was in a train, once at a zoo. I should have showed them the monkey house. If we stop wearing what and how we like it because of some morons, we have lost the battle.

[Evolver]

I've never been targeted for my looks or physique, even when I do push the boundaries a bit, but I acknowledge that I'm not quite in the same league as most of y'all. If it did occur, I very much look forward to responding. I'd blow them a kiss!

On the opposite side, apart from real life situations, I have been moderated or warned on other fora for coming across a bit strong. I'm happy to wear that, but I reject the implication that I can sometimes be thought of as a bully because of it. Using plain language to snap people back to reality is something I will never apologize for. I'll give an example in a sec, but in the meantime, it is worth remembering that (a) I do not troll, and (b) it takes two to tango. I also acknowledge that I've been in my fair share of barneys here too.

One of the other forums that I participate in is Prostate Cancer — Cancer Survivors Network. Not too long ago, a new member came along and stated emphatically that he didn't want to take the adjuvant medication that was suggested to him by his doctor. No ifs, buts or maybes. He was looking for others who had done what he wanted to do, and of course, couldn't find anyone. I asked him a couple of times, admittedly in a brusque manner, why he didn't want to take that medication, and in the absence of a reason, assumed why. He then got shirty (I guess my assumption was correct; he was thinking with his little head, not his big one), refused to answer, and complained about my attitude. Others suggested that the procedure + medication yielded far better long-term survival results than the procedure itself. He then pulled the shutters across, complained about me again and my supposed arrogance, admitted that it was futile being his own doctor because of 'differing opinions', and left partly because of my slap down. Good riddance.

Notwithstanding his sensitivity and stress associated with his recent diagnosis, there was absolutely no reason for him to get all het up when the very people he was reaching out to didn't give him the fanciful answers he was looking for. He left before I got the chance to tell him that it's cancer, man, there's no room for airs and graces, and no room for pomposity. I'd reply similarly in a heartbeat if I thought it was necessary again.

[Justagirl💃]

Strange enough, I had  Barney with another member here on this forum some time back. They have since left the forum twice after coming back for a short while. 

The first time they left leaving an email for members to contact them, I therefore reached out and further explained things proper. 

We are now best of friends and talk almost everyday via emails. Strange how things can work out if properly sorted. 

Of course that takes 'two' willing individuals. 

[Justagirl💃]

I've never been targeted for my looks or physique, even when I do push the boundaries a bit, but I acknowledge that I'm not quite in the same league as most of y'all. If it did occur, I very much look forward to responding. I'd blow them a kiss!

I usually just pretend nothing is happening, then sooner or later they idiot will get tired of looking like one. 

[Parity]

Exactly!  No point engaging, you will never change the mind that isn't capable of change.  Better to "look weak" but be the better & stronger person, and just let it go.
People like that just want to look strong.  It serves only to give them self's a false sense of "being better".  Sad to be them.  

[Justagirl💃]

Yesterday a CNA at the centre rather rudely stated, "the only difference between standard fatty man boobs and you is that you wear a bra to shape them, men don't grow real boobs, take your bra off and you would look just like every other man with a few extra pounds."

Her ignorance is scary!

She even stated that men can't grow milk ducts and glands, it's always just fat. 

I have several mammograms images and reports that state otherwise, I have ultrasound reports showing my uterus and fallopian tubes as well. 

Men can and do grow breasts, and intersex is a real condition. We don't all fit into two predefined boxes. 

I'll just let her wallow in her zealot ignorance.

[tryingtoaccept]

Wow Birdie, I would have thought a CNA would know to research a little before making such a comment.   People can be extremely rude, and ignorance of your situation is no excuse.

[Parity]

I don't know what to say.  What we have here is someone proudly showing their ignorance which sadly is very common.  What I don't like is that individual being in that position, coming down so hard on you.  Very disrespectful. What I don't understand is how people just don't want to open their mind enough to realize that perhaps they just haven't learned all the facts on the mater.  We shouldn't have to be the defender of their stupidity and teacher all in one. 

Point is, people like that are to weak to see they are wrong and to narrow minded to want to learn. 

You have it tough Justagirl.  Sounds like you are handling it well.  I'm sure it stings a bit but continue being you and don't let ignorance win. 

[Justagirl💃]

Living in Texas has its perks (low cost of living), but it also has its disadvantages (narrow minded zealots). 

The narrow minded zealots throw science and facts to the wind while trying to force everyone into two boxes with nothing allowed outside. 

I guess bigger cities are a bit better. 

[p.r.1974]

The willfully ignorant will be found everywhere, but I have found the percentage does seem to be lower in larger cities. The instant, "I am sorry about your bits" thought seems to come to mind when I encounter them, regardless of the topic. There is no reasoning with them, so I am not inclined to educate them. It is just not worth the cost of calm. It is all based on the tone communicated, as I am willing to offer a different perspective to those that are not being a D, regardless of parts.

[Justagirl💃]

Funny how the same participants at the day-centre that ridicule me will take a gander when they think I'm not looking. 

There is one gent that says, "this is just not right", but is always looking at my chest especially if I'm leaning over. 

The perfect definition of hypocritical!