Fight it or Accept It

[Dudewithboobs]

I recall reading articles on why some men accept estrogen dominance and some fight it and rush to course correct however possible. Especially when the dominance causes visible changes.

A variety of things mentioned from how one man to the next can see masculinity the same but simply be secure in themselves where others aren’t and being more related to personality than anything else. 

But one thing stood out and it was the boiling frog effect it mentioned. 

Men who experience a crash in testosterone whatever the reason being experiencing significant depression, anxiety, and insecurity. Being more prone to rush and correct however possible. For the obvious what is happening to me. 


Men who experience a slow drip in testosterone and estrogen imbalance acclimating their system to a shift in hormone control. Making them more susceptible to accepting the changes even being positive about them. Less aggression, brain fog that makes them feel more at ease, loss of libido that allows them to not be bothered by what higher libido comes with. Emotionally more sensitive and being ok with being more expressive to not let it build up etc etc. 

Where many men will experience the negatives emotionally, mentally, physically. Others will experience these same issues but over a duration of time that makes them welcoming of the changes. And where many can receive the same treatments to correct the issue. Others will say yes where others will decline even when faced with things may “worsen”. Due to a slow drip in shift that allowed them to adjust rather than feel under attack. 

I feel for many here this is the case. Unsure who even has their levels checked regularly. I do once a year and used to quarterly. But I just don’t care anymore. I personally very much enjoy how I am and think I would hate if my hormones were back to “normal”

[taxmapper]

When they first started, I had total acceptance from minute one.  For me though there are other aspects that are governing it.  This wasn't a "Bro!  I'm turning into a girl!!! SAVE ME" moment.  

For me there was a "finally it started" moment. This would take far too long to explain. But I would assume that the premise of the article is probably more accurate than not, and partially because the "slow boil" effect is true with many things. Acceptance of the "new normal" is a constant. 

[Parity]

50/50 thanks for sharing such a pure and raw story.  Shame you?  NEVER!!!  

  I went through the same, night sweats, emotional feelings, etc.  I was always a "softer" person.  Not the football player, and I'm glad about that.  We talk about normal men, I still stand by the notion that just because any group, above 51 percent, is one way its normal.  I don't and won't buy into that.   Everyone is unique and right by me.  I like being a man that has empathy, compassion, feelings for the hurting... you pick.  Point is, I wish everyone had those qualities.  I feel it would be a better world.  Like you, those around me who see me,  love me for who I am... I will take delight in that all day every day.

Keep being you.  Let others enjoy you regardless of your physical changes.  Enjoy being a loving person.  I am!

[SwoopNscoop]

It's a thoughtful article which seems to make some good points. But it has some huge generalisations. We are all different in subtle ways and I suspect we all lie on a spectrum from total disgust to full on being out and proud of our changed bodies.
For myself, if you've seen my intro then my discovery of my boobs was sudden and I rebelled very quickly. But I think I'm moving quite quickly towards acceptance, and while each day is different, my attitude tends towards "if I've got breasts then I might as well make the best of it".
A large part of my changing mind has been driven by the excellent counselling sessions I've had from the service provided through UK NHS.
I'm on a journey but I'm seeing a sort of destination through a fog.
We are all different.

[TracyH]

I have never really fought against having breasts. Truth be told I like having them and wish that they were actually bigger. In the past year I have gotten to the point where I am wearing a bra much more then when I am not. Recently I had a chance to go to a pool and go swimming. I was worried about how I was going to pull that off. Wearing a women's bathing suit or a tankini wasn't an option this time, and going shirtless is something I am just not comfortable with any longer. I opted for the rash guard. The other big development is my need to use a sports bra during my workouts. So I would say I have fully embraced my breasts.


Tracy

[WPW717]

50/50 et. al,

Well written!

It was my trajectory too. It was rapid, tumultuous, painful  and mysterious to every doctor I saw. By the time the  labs showed there was a third tumor genetic testing was ordered . The genetic testing revealed them  the MEN Syndrome wasn’t classic. Missing the mutations of the expected genes but had mutation of a supposedly unrelated one. But there it was Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia. T/E ratio flips , aromatase overactivity, removal of adrenal & parathyroid glands & then an inoperable cranial tumor. Took years to get some stability, I am there now.
The errant gene is now being looked at as a new variant of MEN Syndrome… MEN 5. Ongoing research. It ( CHEK 2 ) can cause cancer, resected, and ups my odd of breast cancer. Went from 0.1% to 8-12%. Docs adhering to old education would cancel treatment /tests & a pharmacist would refuse to fill a prescription. Left the state, now in better hands. 
Cannot praise the members here for the support & understanding I’ve 2 1/2 years. I feel for us all & life goes on. I could write a book but it would take too much time away from living life. At 76 I am blessed with a great wife & her support. And my bra’s support too.
This site is marvelous for the acceptance of gynecomastia.

[oldguy]

Your comments mirror my experience, so I really don't have anything to add.

My wife supports me.  I do my best to hide them.  She will advise on what I should wear to achieve that.

So far, so good.

[WPW717]

Wow, rereading this I can see where I left out some crucial words…

[Traveler]

I would add “ignore it” to that list. I couldn’t fight growing breasts during puberty, they were just there. I guess it was mild acceptance in that I would just dress in baggy dark shirts, never swim in public without a shirt on, or shower after gym. Doctors were unhelpful. I became a isolated introvert.
It wasn’t till my late teens, early twenties that I started to come out of my shell. I realized that the fact I had breasts was just that and needed to just get on with my life.
I did find that a lot of women didn’t mind that they were there and a few really liked them! But, for the most part, I continued to be very careful and hide them the best I could, still do play them down as much as possible because, you know, society. It’s just that they are now of a size where it’s not possible to totally hide them. I get that knowing lol from women from time to time, but not that often.

[Sarahgyne]

Mine came on over six or seven years starting in my forties, and there was never an obvious point to intervene. Nothing dramatic enough to take to a doctor, and when I finally did bring it up the response was basically a shrug. Acceptance arrived by default more than by choice.

So I'd push back a little on the framing that the slow group accepts because the changes feel good. Sometimes it's just that no single moment ever felt like the moment to act.

I still get labs done, mostly to know if something else is driving it, not because I plan to act on the numbers. Checking and correcting aren't the same decision.

[Chazzie]

My story mirrors Travelers', except minus the "few really liked them"; one showed some interest. I too, wore the loose fitting two-pocket shirts, never tee shirts, dreaded gym and swim class (sans trunks). Was it a weight issue? Thyroid test was negative; not that. Bi-amphetamines from doctor shed weight, scratch that. My gynecomastia started pre-puberty, then "blossomed" in my teen years.
As a high-schooler, I'm now going back-and-forth from hiding, to privately finding sexuality in having large breasts; trying on bras, lingerie, etc. You could say I had and still have a major fetish; it's lasted years now. I'm finding many friends online, sharing stories, and enjoying the camaraderie of it all.
Thanks for this forum -  Chazzie

[blad]

As a high-schooler, I'm now going back-and-forth from hiding, to privately finding sexuality in having large breasts; trying on bras,

Similar to my experience in school after developing breasts in my early teens. Discovering I did fit a bra as many in school "suggested", I realized I liked wearing a bra and began to accept / enjoy my breasts in private, while trying to deflect negative comments in school even though I knew they were right.

[Midagemoobs2]

Mine came on over six or seven years starting in my forties, and there was never an obvious point to intervene. Nothing dramatic enough to take to a doctor, and when I finally did bring it up the response was basically a shrug. Acceptance arrived by default more than by choice.

So I'd push back a little on the framing that the slow group accepts because the changes feel good. Sometimes it's just that no single moment ever felt like the moment to act.

 
Similar for me... I look back to pictures at around 40 and I now recognize it was already there by then, but I really wasn't aware. By around 50 I did notice however 50 with a bigger chest is not uncommon on guy on the heavier side (which in fact likely contributed over many years), but I did start reading about it and contemplated doing something. I had other priorities as a parent, so I too by default rather than an active choice and definitely not because the changes felt good - it was manageable, not urgent, so acceptance as a default is accurate. So slow growth over the years, now late 50s and somewhat thinner, my chest is noticeable at times but still manageable (this forum has helped), and I still go to the gym, pool, etc.