"What if someone sees how fat I am!"

[dex]

It's taken a while for me to post.

Not long ago one of "Levicks lads" suggested there maybe a number of people that just read this forum and never posted. I am one of those people.

I remember not wanting to play for the school football team at age 9 because I'd have to get changed and have no top on for a couple of seconds "What if someone sees how fat I am!"

My parents would be amazed at how long I would spend in the swimming pool on holidays.  This was because once in the pool I didn't want to get out. "What if someone sees how fat I am!"  

I remember going on holiday with my family at age 11.  I hadn't really been looking forward to the holiday, Spain was the destination and the highlight was the swimming pool, hooray.  But, "What if someone sees how fat I am!"

One of my happiest memories of any holiday was when the holiday rep advised all parents to make sure their children wore t-shirts in the swimming pool because the sun was so strong.

P.E. in secondary school was always a big challenge.  Every Thursday lunch time was spent trying to second guess what the P.E. teacher had in mind for the afternoons games lesson.  If the weather looked bad then we might be inside, which meant we might be playing basketball, which meant there might be no bibs available, which meant one team might have to go skins, and I might be in that team, "What if someone sees how fat I am!"

Arranging lads holidays was a nightmare.  Trying to convince friends that rock climbing and fell walking was more my scene was never easy.  A two week stint in Majorca would be hell, "What if someone sees how fat I am!"

Through my teens and early 20's my weight would yo-yo to silly extremes but it didn't matter what I did I would always feel like a fat person.

Relationships with girls never seemed to cause to much of a problem but I always needed to wait until I thought they really liked me before my shirt would come off in front of them.

Last year I turned 29 and my life changed.  I saw a program on the TV about gyne.  This was the first time that I realised that I may not be that bothered about "What if someone sees how fat I am!" but more a case of "What if someone sees how big my breasts are!".

What a revelation.  That's what was wrong with me, all this time I thought I was bothered about how fat I was but actually it was the size of my breasts that were causing the problem.

To cut an even longer story short I am 3 weeks post op with Levick and my attitude to the world is completely different. I don't think about the things I can now do because of my new flat chest, I don't necessarily dream of going swimming etc. It's different, I'm not really thinking anything.  What's changed is how I feel.

I don't feel like a fat person.

[orrible]

thats great that you are able to close the door on your problem and move on with your life without having to be self concious. Congratulations.

[AJP]

Well done mate. Needless to say, I and many others on here know just how you feel, and how you felt growing up.

Good man. Bet you can't wait for the summer eh?!

[Merv_UK]

Congrats Dex.

Know how you feel, 2 weeks post op, always saw myself as fat even though others said I wasn't. Now that the Gyne is gone I realise that although I have a bit of a tum I'm in a lot better shape than most of my mates. Funny how one thing throws all the others out of perspective.

Roll on T-Shirt weather!

[serg]

Congrats to you both Dex and Merv!

Likewise, I'm quite looking forward to this summer!  

[Chorlton]

Dex,

Top post mate.  Thanks for sharing.  I can relate to a lot of those stories.  

I spent a week in Ibiza with my mates and kept my t shirt on by a pool with no shade.  I came home with a sun burned fore head!  Also a week in Turkey with my mates I spent a week in the shade with my t-shirt on reading a book because "it was to hot out of the shade!"  I don't think I talked to may mates in the daytime at all as they had found a cool spot at the end of this jetty.  God the laughs I must have missed - but no more, ha ha.

And the skins and the bibs teams at school. Thinking about it brings me out in a sweat.  I always managed to blag a bib.  but the stress leading up to it was nearly unbearable.

Can you beleive I got pick to play rugby for the school in my first year.  I objected of course and was threated with being kicked out of school if I refused to play.  5 bleeding years they had me playing that f-ing sport. Wednesdays and Saturday mornings.  How many showers do you think i avoided during that time.  Loads.  No hanging out with the guys after cause  " I had to get home"!

Be gone demons!!!  Thank god for closure eh!

Chorlton

[Yorkshireman]

Nice 1 mate, it speaks volumes about a man who gores through his troubles quietly yet can share his success with others who may be suffering. Congratulations!