Everyones looking at me

[myusername]

Just today I was at Kroger and these two teens boyfriend and girlfriend I'd assume. The girl looked over at me and whispered sometihng to the boy who looked over at me as well, scoffed then looked away. Needless to say I wanted to rip their heads off with a forklift. The whole time I was there I was covering my chest, I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Gyno is turning me into a recluse from society, I never go out, have no friends anymore, and am always obessessing about my appearance. I'm dreading going back to school, thank God this is my last year. I'm also a magician, but don't approach strangers because of my extreme self-consciousness. It seems like I can't get over it, theres like a little voice in my head thats always telling me that they are judging me and making fun of my chest. I'm really depressed now. Anyway, my question is: What do you guys do when you see people staring at you? Has it caused you to become reclusive like me? And, what can I do to overcome my extreme self-conciousness? (Other than surgery because I met with the surgeon and it'll cost me $6,000 which I can't afford.) Thanks for your help.

[Boobit]

I could of written that when I was your age. Ditto me! I'm 51 now, and do you know what? After all those years of agonising, even having lipo, I've noticed that many many many men of my age, who were once flat, are now sporting man boobs. They don't seem to care. In fact it's more common than not. So even though you're nowhere near my age, things will get better as you go along in life. Get a job, save up, have the op and look forward to the more mature years. I like being older, it gives you a better perspective.

[monnom]

try meeting some people your age with similiar interests, keep a sense of humour, maybe start running on an every other day basis, do whatever u enjoy doing dont let other people get in the way of it, people may stare or make comments about u but just laugh it off, honestly u have to be an a$$hole to criticize someone for their looks, be thankful u dont think the same way.

dont let your head make a habit of paying attention or trying to read the thoughts of those around u.

this weather is awesome, get outside, go swimming in a reclusive spot or with people u dont have to worry about judging u.

[Mr_Nip]

The same thing happens to me frequently.  I agree with Boobit that as you get older you notice that others your age are starting to grow boobs, but that doesn't make me less aware of those who are pointing and giggling about me at a pool.  I know we shouldn't care about what those morons think, but it sometimes has a huge effect.   That being said, I agree totally with monnom's post.  What monnom said there is pure real-world wisdom and it should be your (our) goal to achieve that attitude.  

[Paa_Paw]

50 years ago, I could have written the same letter.

While it is true that your perspective and priorities do change over time, You are looking for herlp here and now.

First step is to see a Doctor and get a thorough check-up.  Usually, Gynecomastia is harmless, but it can sometimes be a symptom of serious diseases.  This is rare, but you need to check it out for your own safety. The family Doctor can make referrals as needed to follow-up as below.  You will want to get copies of all your lab reports to share with other Doctor later.

Two more Doctors, a Psychologist and a Endocrinologist.

If you have a clean bill of health up to this point, Then you would want to see the Psychologist first. If there was anything even remotely questionable, then the Endocrinologist would be your priority.

Each has a totally different role to play, The Psychologist may be able to help with some strategies that will help you cope with your condition. The Endocrinologist may be of more help than you can imagine, There are medications which are helpful for a small number of men depending upon their hormone levels etc. The use of these medications requires competent medical supervision and the Endocrinologist is just the right person.

Along the way, any of the Doctors may know of means by which you can get help with the surgical cost or in some other way get you on the fast track to surgery.

As a magician, You are well aware of ways to misdirect attention and you know that you can pull off almost anything if you can direct attention away from your actual trick.  Concealment of Gynecomastia is somewhat like that as well. Also,There are a variety of compression garments etc that do an excellent job if flattening out the breast area.

Keep in touch.

Good Luck!

[Strato]

Well-let me tell you about my 'coming out to my parents' about Gynecomastia. My little trip to the doctor. I told my mom, we decided to go to the Doctor. At this point I had done so much research I could barely see the point, but oh well. I went there and the doctor who by the way seemed a bit arrogant and uncaring to me, asked me the usual questions, printed me some articles about Gynecomastia (that I had already read). The trip seemed like it was more to explain to my mother that I had developed breasts than it was to help me in any way.

So after all of that, the Doctor told me a bunch of nonsense like "your body doesn't yet know whether its male or female." What the hell does this mean anyway? Your body never *knows* whether its male or female, it has no such understanding. Could he have maybe put it in a less hurtful way? And I being sixteen at the time was also not pleased by the doctor stating that I was at the developmental level of a thirteen year old...ouch!

So I was pretyt mad about this but eventually I urinated in the vial and it was shipped off to the endocrinologist. Now THIS was the funny part. They analyzed my levels of whatnot, and I never even found out what the hell my levels were, I guess they were normal? The information was never revealed to me. It was then the usual yada yada explaining to my mother (not helpful to me in ANY way).

Then the examination *down there* happened, and god that was a bad experience. But anyway, I'll skip to the most embarrasing part. A team of people in the lab coats came in, standing a couple feet away from me, and I was asked to take off my shirt. This was near the main endocrinologist guy, my mother, and about 6 of these other people, standing about a foot away from me as the endocrinologist began something that seemed almost like my final history presentation last year. I'm sitting there embarrassed as HELL while he talks about me, and they all look at my chest and take notes. I know that this isn't helping me at all, they are using me as a guinea (guinee?) anyway a pig of some sort.

I didn't dare make eye contact with them. But it was inevitable. My worried facial expression locked with one of the female notetakers and she SMILED at me!!! You can't smile at me!! How dare she? She should have maintained a neutral facial composure, whats this smiling all about? Trying to make me feel comfortable while the whole office is being given a presentation abotu my chest? Having wasted all my time for THIS???

God, I needed to get that out of my system.

[Paa_Paw]

It sounds like your doctor was a resident at a medical school and you became the exhibit in a class.

Even under the best of circumstances though, you may need to try several different doctors before you find one you are truly comfortable with.

[myusername]

I've been to a psychologist (more than I can count it seems like) and an endo, the endo said that everything was normal as far as below the equator is concerned. She sent me off to this A**hole of a doctor who showed no compassion and didnt smile once. As I stated surgery would either cost me $35,000 or $6,000. Oh and stratosphere I'm right there with you. I feel like I'm wasting my life sitting in the house all day worrying.

[yumurta]

Pal you may do your surgery in another country? In my country it is at most cost at 2000$ and generally it is done at 1000-1500$. If we add travel costs 1000$ it is at most 2500 or 3000$. If i were you i would consider this option.

[myusername]

what country is this?

[myusername]

Are there any normal shirts that dont cost 100 dollars that can reduce my breasts appearance?

[myusername]

anyone?

[Eric Robertson]

Go to www.underworks.com.  They have shirts there for gyne victims that are reasonably priced.

[myusername]

thanks I'll check it out.  Does it matter if you have a big gut or not?

[Eric Robertson]

Nope.  I had a big gut and amazingly it reduced the appearence of that also.

-Oleska-