What follows is a breakdown of the physical, mental and spiritual changes I've gone thru since having this procedure, it felt very theraputic to write some of this stuff, hopefully people can see similarities in themselves, or find inspiration in the journey that this crazy affliction has taken me on:
Well, surgery back in October of 2006. Have been healing well since then. Surgery with Fielding, he did a good job. I think there is more skin tightening yet to come as I have noticed slight but, nonetheless noticable, differences as far as the skin really pulling into the chest.
As of 6 months or so I still had a bit of an "overhang", but I think that was due to residual swelling and also the fact I started working out after 6-8 weeks. I believe I was probably traumatizing the area a bit more and possibly slowed the final effect a bit. But it seems to be coming around now.
Only when it's REALLY hot outside do my nipples do any sort of expansion, and even then, it's NOTHING compared to the old rockets I used to have. I can confidently rip off my shirt, wear a wife beater, and wear any sort of shirt in the hot hot heat, at the beach suntan on my back without thinking about my breasts. It's quite a different way to live.
I have clothes in my closet that are like wearing new threads because they fit so differently.
One of the toughest things, well not tough, but adjustments I guess, has been just that. Adjusting. Going from having gyno, and being teased and ridiculed your whole life (25 years) to not being tortured for something we have no control over, is a different feeling. Expecting to see the awkward glances and finger pointing when your shirt is off, and then having people look you in the eye and just talk to you is very different. It was hard at first, because I still felt in my mind "Oh god, this guy is freaked about my nips, he's just trying to be nice." But truly nobody cares about it.
I spent so many hours in the gym working out, trying to get rid of that stupid crap and being ripped but still embarrassed because two parts of my body were bizarre in proportion. It's a weird feeling to not feel obligated to work out for vanity. My focus has changed to long-term health, lean-ness, and overall good athletic fitness. Not just to hide the ugly pointers I once had. Since adopting this mentality I've improved at all the sports I love: Snowboarding, wakeboarding, soccer, basketball. I think the embarrassment affected my athletic performance.
I had to put so much pressure on myself to be amazing at everything because if I wasn't, then I was just this below-average guy, who compounded with huge boobs, was nothing. At least that's the way I thought others felt, when it probably wasn't even close to that, years of enduring teasing makes one's mind warp to weird extremes.
As far as women goes, I always had a lot of hot girlfriends and lot of sex before the surgery. Even though I was conscious of my body in the bedroom, it was strangely one place I could let go and trust that girls would like me anyway. I don't know why that was so much easier, perhaps because I never was teased by a single girl, all thru school, and by any I was in a relationship with.
Since then though, I've been with a few girls and it feels great not to have to dread that first moment when my shirt comes off and hope and pray her reaction won't ruin things. In fact I'm so proud of my new body I've got to remind myself not to just throw off the shirt (and hers) too soon, gotta keep that foreplay alive
I feel as though I'm equal to the women and men I'm with and around, not inferior as I did for so many years. It's so eff'd up to think of someone with gyne, or a birthmark on their face, or whatever it is that an individual has no control over, can be so isolated and made to think they are less than what they are because of a stupid genetic malady.
On a psychological note, once I was healed and started looking good in the chest, working out and losing the bit of bodyfat from the 2 months of inactivity, I almost started to get an ego. I was like "Ha, look at me now you fu*kers. I'm normal, up yours, you can't tease me anymore, now I can look for faults in you, you bastards."
And only recently have I realized that man, like in the paragraph above, we are what we are. I can be comfortable with myself, and just BE me. I don't have to out-do anyone, I don't have to cut someone down to boost my own psyche, I can just be. And that's the best thing about being post-op, but something I had to learn.
Because if you think about it, it's as though I have now lived two lives. One with gyne, and one without. Two completely different existences, with two completely different feelings. And the mind is very powerful. But this new life is one I'm very happy to embrace, and I think can be more open to people and myself and not be so uptight and worried and just relax and enjoy this beautiful life for what it is.
Thanks for reading, for anyone out there still going through gyne, do not be embarrassed or afraid to look at surgery as a step towards something better for you. It is a remedy to many things, but at the end of the day, gyne or not, there's a lot of mental healing to be done.
I haven't been on the boards much since my surgery, and I probably won't come around too much after this, it's nice to forget about gyne altogether.
So good luck to all who have had, will have, or are thinking about this procedure, it changed my life a lot, and hopefully others can experience a second-life as well.
Sincerely,
chopemoff
Topic: My first titless summer (Read 16985 times)
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