My Reflection...

[PhillyPUFF]

OK, so I'm 23 years old and I've been living with gyne for about 10-11 years. During that time I did everything I needed to do to hide my 'condition' and make sure no one knew anything about it. I pretty much became anti-social - and throughout those years I also developed a lot of addictions. I got heavy into drugs at a very young age. Getting 'high' took me out of my reality, and put me in a place where I didn't think about my gyne. It certainly wasn't a solution to the problem -  It was nothing more than self medication to temporarily 'numb' the pain. I eventually hit rock bottom and I had absolutely no other choice but to turn my life around. I went to college, I graduated at the top of my class, and I now have a well paying job that I really do enjoy.

I just recently 'came out' a few months ago and told my family about my gyne, and let them know how it's been affecting me for all these years. This was a HUGE step for me, and I'll tell you, it really took a lot of pressure off my shoulders. I wasn't thinking about my gyne nearly as much, and overall I was just a happier person. It hasn't been until these last few weeks that I've had my gyne on my mind practically all the time. I attribute this to A: the fact that its gotten warmer outside and its getting harder to wear layers upon layers of clothes, which in turn, makes me ALOT more self conscious in public...and B: My surgery is coming up on July 3rd, and I cant help but to be excited/anxious/nervous/hopefull about it all.

Recently though, I've had a change in how I view my gyne. I certainly haven't become more self confident in my physical appearance, but I've become far more willing to do things that I normally wouldn't do. For instance, If I go out to a bar, I'm far more willing to talk to a girl and ACTUALLY HOPE that I get 'lucky', instead of my former self who would just 'ignore' girls with the fear that things would get intimate and I would end up 'exposing' myself. My mind set now is kind of like this: These are your last few weeks that you'll be living with gyne, so F*CK IT. Go out there. Meet a girl. Get exposed...Its almost like I'm TRYING to expose myself to see what kind of reaction I get. (it's pretty exhilarating)

Anyway, I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of this post was. I guess I just wanted to get some things off my mind in a place where I know I'll be accepted and not judged.

TAKE HOME: I just want everyone to truly believe that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Whether your battling with addiction, your trying to land that perfect job, or maybe your just trying to lose some weight and get into shape - ITS ALL POSSIBLE. I'm living breathing proof that you can completely turn your life around. No matter what the circumstances. You need to understand though - EVERYTHING TAKES TIME....Also Realize that when your on your journey, wherever you may be going, and things start to become difficult, that's a sure sign that your making progress - Your taking it all to the next level.

SO, Stay positive everyone, keep your head up, and just try to live life one day at a time.


Thank you for reading, and thank you to everyone on this board for helping me to better accept myself and my gyne.