I blame 100% of my depression and all my mental disorders on gyne. I remember being a happy and healthy child up until the age of about 13, when i became extremely self conscious and depressed about my gyne. Ever since then my life has been a rollercoaster of sad feelings n emotions and deep dark depression. The smoking seems to just be getting worse and worse over the years because of it. The most saddest thing about my smoking, is that i smoke with intentions in the back of my mind to get lung cancer n emphasema and hopefully die of smoking at a young age. Ridiculous right? Most people try to quit smoking to save there health, im doing the exact opposite, i literally want smoking to kill me, how sad is that? I really don't have the same motives as everyone else to quit, so i really have no reason to quit while i have my gyne. As for the whole personal loan thing, that sounds great and all, but right now at the moment, im living by the skin on my teeth as far as money goes, with my 2 jobs i work i still barely have enough money to pay for my ridiculous bills. I just feel ill never be able to get ahead financially with my money, and throwing another $100-250/month health loan payment into the mix of all my other monthly bills would probaly break me, and i would never be able to afford the payments. God, i hope theres a way that i can someday make this surgery happen, because im really running out of options, and i dont know how much longer i can live like this.
Dude. Quit the fucking cigarettes, quit alcohol, and start being smart as hell about your money. Organise it all and take precise notes of daily expenditures and SAVE like a maniac. You can do it.
You will eventually have enough to afford surgery. In the great scheme of things, the cost of surgery is a mere financial blip, a piss in the ocean. Its value is a thousand times what it costs.
Make this a PRIORITY in your life - no excuses, no whinging, no bullshit. Get it done.