Tiff's Diary: Samson

[Tiffany]

  To start I am not sure that I have gynecomastia but the changes in my chest from taking meds do indeed give me the impression it could be a possibility. With that in mind the only sober minded thing to do is prepare for what could lie ahead and what the worst case scenario could be.
  Bankruptcy and low wages make an operation out of the question. My age and the fact that I have nothing to prove fall in line with this as well. My convictions that weight and shape are over rated and nothing more than vanity give another reason not to think about an operation.
  I was reading the book of Judges and thought about Samson.
  I thought about how they pressed Delilah to find out where his great strength came from.
  If Samson was a huge man with bulging muscles they could have plainly seen where it came from. But, the Lord would not have received the glory. Samson would have.
  Under the law the men were to pole their heads as long hair on a man was a disgrace. Since Samson was a Nazarite from his mother's womb his hair could never be cut. Unlike what Hollywood would show us this meant that Samson would have been laughed at for being girly.
  To make matters worse for him, he couldn't drink wine.
  This meant that as a young man when his friends wanted to have a party Samson couldn't drink with them. That tells me that he may have been that guy that was laughed at and never been invited to parties because he was deemed that sissy that couldn't drink.
  Now, to make matters worse for him I see no scripture that bears witness to him having a build like Arnold Swartzenneggar. (spelling ?)
  I just can't help but wonder if Samson was that 97 pound weakling. That skinny twerp that needed to get his hair cut and be a man!
  I can picture that if a skinny little guy with women's hair picked up the gates and bars to a city and carried them like they weighed nothing it would make the Philistines wonder where this great strength came from! I can see where they just might have felt an importance to find out so they could stop him.
  It's not fun to look in the mirror and see girly breasts with nipples showing through a t-shirt. It can make you wonder if everyone else sees them. It can make you self conscience whenever people laugh and you just can't wonder if they are laughing at you.
  At least I wonder at times.
  I take comfort in knowing that this man that was chosen of God would have to live a life of embarrassment and possibly being shunned to have favour with the God that chose him and ordained his life before he was even born.
  At least in my case any laughing or scorn is just my own self conscience from my fears. Samson's might very well have been an every day reality.
  Another good example of a man with problems was dear old Job.
  His entire ministry was recorded while he was in great agony with his so-called friends telling him that his kids deserved to die, his sins were without end and that he deserved worse.
  But, that's another topic to think on when the mirror gets me down.
  The Lord has given me a good life and blessed me beyond my wildest dreams.
  He has given me a wife that has stayed by my side for better or WORSE, richer or POORER, in SICKNESS and in heath and kids that love me just as much when I show them this infirmity as they did when I was body building. I have 8 grandchildren that love me and 3 of them want to learn to play the drums and guitar so they can play with grandpa and grandma.
  For me nothing can compare to the feeling of knowing that the Lord loves me and my family does as well.
  If this infirmity goes away and I have a man's chest down the road I would be happy and praise the Lord.
  If it gets worse and I have to start buying bras to support the weight that has started and will increase I'll still be happy and praise the Lord.
  To me, that's unconditional love.
  If Samson could love God and Job could love God I can love God.
  Even if I end up looking like a girl. (or should I say old lady)

May God bless,

Tiff

[GoldenGate]

Tiff,

That is a heck of a diary posting.  You seem to have a very deep soul and obviously took some time to think about these things and type them out.  I just wanted you to know that people out there are reading thinking about what you are putting the effort and time into posting.  Congratulations on your acceptance of your condition.  Make sure you teach/introduce your grandkids to some of the older music out there, it took me way to long to discover the old stuff from the 50's, 60's and 70's!!!   Life is what you make of it, right?

[nipples]

Tiff, I suggest you embrace your breasts and enjoy them/. They are a gift from God. I finally discovered that and even took estrogen (under medical supervision) and now can pass for a girl on the beach in a bikini. The estrogen not only grew my breasts to full C cups, but rounded out my ass, added nice girl- fat to my formerly skinny muscular thighs ( from decades of distance running) and stopped all body hair except under arms. None on chest, neck, badk, thighs, or abdomen. And my wife loves them. We have great fun in bed with each other's boobs. Of course, you have to stay active and diet to gain a nice girlish figure. But it is worth it. I enjoy being a girl from time to time. If you try it, you might like it, as I do. But there is no going back. Once you have nice round firm mammary glands,they are not going away.