Replying to Alchemist I wear a bra,I have to (38D UK ),waist 36 ,I feel comfortable with it but cannot hide the fact I have large breasts.I do wear dark, loose fitting shirts and get fitted properly.Swimming presents a problem.
Del
In a Correction to my recent post my waist size is of course 36, there is no D, the D is in my bra size.
Del
Hi Del,
I was wondering what you meant by that, or if was some kind of UK sort of thing. UK shoe sizes confuse me too.
Swimming presents a problem.What kind of problem? Body-shame? Being physically attacked or groped? Staring? Remarks made to you or other people?
If you have looked at my posting of growing to acceptance part 1 and 2, you will know that I have taken a different approach to the whole business. What would Don Juan (Carlos Castaneda) do? For that matter, consider the various portrayals of Buddha. He often is portrayed with gynecomastia. I believe in changing the self. For me the first step was to get rid of the automatic response of letting xxxx, whatever it is; a look, a comment or just KNOWING how exposed one is, throw me into an unconscious victim reaction or body-shame reaction. I was a bully target from an early age; it's how my mother trained me to be. I was a victim. Bullies have their victim radar going all the time. I could always spot them the same instant they spotted me. I changed my attitudes starting at about 22 and ceased being a typical target. I haven't been physically attacked since then. Getting rid of body-shame made me invulnerable to peoples various responses to seeing my breasts. Depending upon how they react and what they do will get different responses. If they say something my response can range from ignoring them to inviting them to a nudist event, to getting pedantic on them (talking them to death works very well) to telling them my modeling fees are $100/hour or $10 per 5 minutes to take a couple of pictures or revealing their body issues to them or telling them that I'm not a "she-male" and am not at all interested in them. Nobody at all has tried to grope me since I changed my attitude at 22 and decided that I would deck them faster than they can blink. I came very close to decking a visitor at the nudist club who groped my partner getting out of the hot tub and in the showers. I restrained my reaction and told him quietly what would happen if he tried that again and that I would see him kicked out then and there in the sauna with a couple of other members present. He started cussing at me and stormed out of the sauna.
People are going to look when they see anything unusual to them. A pair of D or DD breasts on a guy is going to attract some attention just as if the breasts of the women were all uncovered. Smile and don't sweat the small stuff. What they THINK is their problem, not yours. And besides unless they actually say or do something you won't know what they are actually thinking and likely are projecting your own fears onto them. Breasts on a man are an instant Rorschach test and tell you everything about the person reacting and nothing about yourself, if they are actually noticed. Good luck and have fun. Don't let the bastards wear you down.
The best solution might be to join a nudist/naturist club if you have one nearby. Nobody will bat an eye there. It's a safe environment to get rid of body shame in.