So tired, so tired

[nothingworse]

I just want this to be over with so bad. Haven't had a good night sleep since I was 14 years old. Don't remember what my eyes looked like without bags under them. I can't stand this anymore. Can't sleep right because of the pain it is just so hard. I don't want to get out of bed anymore I just lay there looking at the ceiling. It is not that I am depressed it is just that the pain never stops and insurance is being a bi*ch. I have been dosing on ephidrine and just doing cardio to stay fit and alive. Feel deathly inside. Just because of the sleep thing. I told my parents I haven't slept more than 3 hours in one night for the past 3 years. I could never get out of my bed for school in the morning and was so tired and had so many bags in my eyes that my teachers and parents asked me why I looked so tired and depressed. I told my mom until I can have this surgery and sleep right because my chest isn't painful anymore I don't know what to do. Thats why I am always on this board late at night sometimes till 4 in the morning. Can't sleep haven't slept right in so long. It just goes on and on and on. Insurance is so slow. I had a dream a while back from one of my short naps that I managed to sleep solid for an hour. I dreamt of not having this pain hanging out with my friends and having a great life and no more pain just hapiness. I told my mom I don't know if I am seriously dying or what because thats what it feels like. You can die from lack of sleep or no sleep and I don't know. The only time I can really sleep is if suddenly I black out then I wake up shortly after in pain from rolling around and sleeping on my chest. Damn this gyne. I am just praying right now to god everynight that insurance come through the first time this month. So I can live properly again soon. My sister calls me dark eyes and stoner eyes not because I do pot just because I haven't slept right in so long my eyes are messed up. My parents asked me what I want for a graduation gift this year because I tried my best and improved my life but, just feel like crap. I told them I want one thing and only one thing and thats their help on getting this gyne surgery soon before I literally die. When thats Effing over I need to get about a months straight rest and some make-up to cover and rejuvinate the skin under my eyes. People always ask my why I am monotone and am tired all the time in school and like never virturally awake. Well after years of it you finally figure it out and feel like your on deaths door. I would not pay attention in school and just couldn't cocentrate right and this totally affected my Grade Point Average. My dream in life was to be a medical technician and hold a decent job but my grade point average is no where near good enough for that and have to now turn to skilled trades as my only option for a good paying good job. This dang gyne ruined 3 important years of my life and hopefully I can save half the last one of my senior year. Have just enough energy to make it through school with gyne and when I had a job it just killed me. This gyne needs to die and stop ruining my life. Don't remember what it feels like to feel basically like a normal human functions each day. My doctor said mine wasn't cancer but, wanted to know what it was to be this painful and effect my life like it has. No I am not growing anymore and it is not milk glands or just growing pain. If it does turn out to be cancerous like I am thinking it is I am suing HMO I am tired of this it is crazy. From here on out it is either get the gyne surgery or get closer and possibly death. I am serious my body sooner or later is going to shut down and hopefully gyne surgery can happen first and then after I heal for a few weeks get the proper sleep and come back to life. I hope if I see this surgeon he can get this done right. I have about 1,000 small to large glandular gyne lumps everywhere. I swear some have to be cancerous or I just don't know anymore.

[BringExtraDragons]

Shyte man, a lot of people in this gyne community have had ROUGH lives, bigtime. Sometimes not for just the last 3 years, some gyne veterans don't even question what gyne is until 25-30 years down the road. It's quite amazing how much that wretched glandular tissue can burden your life...quite mind blowing actually. My case is minor,,,but it's definitely there poking out at all times. I'm 20 now and I've had this problem since i was 15, five years going strong and getting worse. But sh*t man, you can't let some glandular tissue push you on the verge of mental/physical breakdown or death. One thing that you do have to worry about is losing your drive and motivation. You NEED to be motivated to kill the devilish gyne. And I'm not talking pushing motivation by doing some cardio everday, I'm talking life in general. The money for surgery is possible for us younger less successful people. I work a shit job but there is this pharmaceutical study i can join all the time and you can make thousands of dollars by just chilling in their facilities and testing their drugs out. Hey man trust me on this one, research on the internet if there are any research facilities in your area. You can make EASY money, talking thousands of dollars with in a month. But you do have to stay over night and get blood draws, etc. Anyway, If i were you ,,,I would just remember there will obviously be a time when you will be rid of gyne,,, it's not that hard at all. Where there's a will there's a way...and stuff.

[nothingworse]

I have had it for 7 years but, experience the pain in the last 3 years. It just gets old. It is a very unusual case I know. But, there are different forms of gyne syndromes etc. and I have heard it all. I am not saying I am beat from this but, I am getting the surgery to move on. I am going to kill that gyne. It is just the sleep patterns that have bothered me and it just sucks. I know there are gyne veterans here. I am getting more info on my case of glandular gyne. Nothing wrong with blood levels or hormones but, it is painful. I reached my maximum height about 2 years ago and am at full growth I grew right as the doctor expected. I am going to kill that gyne and soon. Something is wrong with my glands something happened to make them painful or maybe they are some form of cancer don't know yet. And if your mind blowen about this I understand mine is a very unusual case but, is true. Something happened to make them this way and nothing has changed for 3 years and everything is normal so there is nothing left to do I have done all I could it is surgery time. I just want this over with. There are many different forms of gyne and I have seen some examples on this board with similar chest pains after they are done growing and hormones are normal. Anything is possible and all I got to say is wish I had a diagnosis on what my case exactly is but, as more different forms of gyne appear and everything about gyne has happened to someone I don't know.

[Worrier]

I am real sorry it is getting to you m8. Just to let you know I get physical pain as well from the gyne. I have had it for a year now(med induced). My hormones are fine and no it is not growing. The doctors don't know why and say it is in my head. The pain is Not around the nipples but below the nipples hwere the chest attaches to the rib cage.
         Mine does not sound as bad as yours but since Iam been doing weight training I have strengthened my chest and it hurts much less.Anyways hang in there and a little thing I have noticed is when my mind is occupied the pain tends to go away NOT the gyne though .You'll be fine m8