My son, 14, and I'm scared as heck

[sbarock]

We went for a consultation and he's very excited about getting this surgery. It's basically a double mastectomy right? So this is major stuff. And, I'm freaking out. Scared as hell, all the what if's what if's what if's filling my mind with fear.
What if it doesn't work well?
What if he gets an infection that disfigures him worse?
What if he needs more surgery like so many here?
What if something really horrible happens.
Than, there's, what if it all goes well and he is happy with himself and no longer self conscious about his boobs?
I'm filled with fears, just need some calming down from either parents whose child had this done, or someone who had this done young and is still happy. or both
Thanks

[Paa_Paw]

Some surgeons might want to put off surgery on a boy that young. The issue is not his precise age, but how fully his body has matured. It would serve little purpose to do surgery if he is still in early puberty for example.

Your questions.

If you get a cosmetic surgeon who does male breast reductions regularly, There is little chance that it will not work out well. The problems are usually as a result of a surgeon who is not qualified.

Infections are not unheard of, but these days they are not very common but actually rather rare.

Lots of people here think they will need more surgery and they often complain that the surgeon did not remove enough etc. This is a common reaction within the early recovery period. The skin has healed over but the breast area is still puffy. The truth is that the underlying tissue heals more slowly than does the skin and the post operative swelling can last for several months. Usually by the time a year has passed they are very happy.

Horrible things happen all the time. Each evening I take a walk of about 3 miles. I could be assaulted or run over any night. That does not stop me from living my life. I heard that a person could have a heart attack and die in the midst of having an angioplasty. I stopped the worrying after the third procedure.

What if all goes well? He will feel strangely liberated and free. This is the way Most cases wind up.

You are a parent and you are worried about your child. I know all about that, I raised eight children. You will be fine and so will your son. The bad news is that no matter how old your son gets, you will still worry about him. Some of my children are now grandparents and I still worry. You never get over being a parent.

[sbarock]

Thank you.

My son is man size, 6'3, 250. He's scheduled for this Tuesday. I've decided to change my thought process because you're right, life is full of risk. He said to me last night, Mom, even if I lost 50 pounds, had a six pack abs, I'd still have C cup boobs. So, off we go. He'll be fine, he'll be free. I was more concerned about his adult sex life, I didn't want him to feel intimidated or ashamed later in life. I want him to enjoy all that life has to offer.

Will let you know, we are excited:)

shellie

[Dr. Elliot Jacobs]

Yes, he is 14 but has the build of a man.  And if he has gyne, then surgery can help him substantially.

His age should not be a barrier as long as he has had the gyne for two years or longer.  It will not disappear spontaneously and waiting in vain for it to do so will just prolong his mental anguish.  Go for it!!  Your son will be grateful.

Dr Jacobs

[thetodd]

Thank you.

My son is man size, 6'3, 250. He's scheduled for this Tuesday. I've decided to change my thought process because you're right, life is full of risk. He said to me last night, Mom, even if I lost 50 pounds, had a six pack abs, I'd still have C cup boobs. So, off we go. He'll be fine, he'll be free. I was more concerned about his adult sex life, I didn't want him to feel intimidated or ashamed later in life. I want him to enjoy all that life has to offer.

Will let you know, we are excited:)

shellie

Your a really cool mum, 14 is pretty young to get the surgery but it does sound like puberty's hit him pretty rapidly. I remember being 14 looking in the mirror and thinking why isnt my body like the rest of my mates, its great that hes going to be address it so young.

Your worries while all rational, are not of any concern . If you go to a good surgeon, he will get a good result. Risk of infection is tiny any half decent hospital will protect him against this. The surgery isnt actually that bad at all, although its invasive surgery its a day case, he will be booked in the morning wheel'd in some point in the mid morning/afternoon and will be leaving the hospital that same day. I went in for surgery at 11am and left at 5:30pm. It was a similar experience to having a tooth out.

But recovery (may) be an issue, and since he'l have you helping out it will be slightly easier. Dont mention this to him yet, just be prepared if he does experience this.

Recovery is more of a mental process which may take some time to adjust to, especially due to his age. Once he has the surgery, he will feel great but then he may experience scar tissue/swelling a few weeks down the line. Most people find having the initial euphoria of having their gyne fixed, to having a misshapen chest heartbreaking. Depending on the person it can be a drawn out process, and lots of people seriously underestimate the mental anguish the surgery can invoke. But it does get better, and in the end he will be so relieved when its all over.

Im not saying to to scare you, its just good to be aware of the pitfalls in recovery if you look through the forums you will see it mentioned a lot. Dont have ANY reservations about the surgery, your doing the right think and your son will thank you for being so supportive.