Body image

[Evolver]

I had never heard of Taryn Brumfitt until today. She's in the news because of an award she won last night. She has been instrumental in campaigning against body shaming. Although it seems like a women's issue, it brings to light the severity of the problem and how it affects all people.

We've talked about acceptance of our bodies here before and I think that what she said in her speech is somewhat relevant. The salient points to me are,

"We weren't born into the world hating our bodies. This is something the world has taught us.
"It is not our life's purpose to be at war with our body.
"This is not about encouraging obesity, this is not what I do, and this issue is not simply about weight or size, it's about the way that we feel about all of ourselves — our skin colour, our height, our age, our gender, our unique selves — and it is learning to move, nourish, respect and enjoy our bodies, because you can't look after something you don't love.
"When you take your final breath on this earth, what thoughts will be going through your mind? What will you be thinking about? No one has ever said to me: the size of their bum.

Hopefully, if there are people reading this who are struggling with self-acceptance due to gynecomastia, they can be encouraged by the words of Ms. Brumfitt.

'It is not our life's purpose to be at war with our body': 2023 Australian of the Year Taryn Brumfitt's speech in full - ABC News

[Orb]

Thanks for sharing Evolver.

I have to agree 100 percent.  Body shaming is the problem here.  It is taught at an early age, often through none inflammatory methods. Adds selling products saying you must look this way.  Children trying to get the upper hand on the playground by hurling insults on the weaker kids to only boost their own self image.  It's hard to shake those actions and also to suppress their effects.  For many here it is still an issue learning to be dealt with.  No one knows our story and the why of, in our cases chest development, but us.  That being said it should be of no concern to them.  Me, I not as concerned with personal appearance as I am the temperament of ones spirit.  Those in my circle are kind and loving.  If not their on the sidelines of my life.

[Johndoe1]

Body shaming is the main reason I have had a weight problem my whole life.  I was bullied in school for my chest and after I got out I found I could hide them if I put on weight and that's where my real problems started. 

[Orb]

Johndoe1, I know its easier to hide our larger chest with an added few pounds in other areas.  I hope your beyond that and have a better grip on things now.  I'll bet your not the only one who gained to hide, and I'm sure others have gained weight only to find they gained in the chest also. 
I can relate a few pounds once on are harder to keep off for good.  

[JoniDee]

Johndoe1, I know its easier to hide our larger chest with an added few pounds in other areas.  I hope your beyond that and have a better grip on things now.  I'll bet your not the only one who gained to hide, and I'm sure others have gained weight only to find they gained in the chest also. 
I can relate a few pounds once on are harder to keep off for good. 

If I may jump in here...... I discovered I had breasts after I lost my first 10 pounds! And now that I've shed an additional 30, I'm happy with the fact that my girls are as large as they were when I was 40 pounds heavier, and now more visible.

[Evolver]

I have since read in another article that Taryn's next campaign will focus on kids. She said children started off believing their bodies were strong and powerful, before changing their minds. "It's getting younger and younger I have to say, I only spoke to a six-year-old recently who was dieting,"

More relevant for us here, Men are not immune from dysfunctional relationships with their bodies. In Ms Brumfitt's conversations with men and school-aged boys, they have told her about their worries over going bald or not having big enough muscles. "It's often suppressed. They're not sharing their thoughts, but there's a lot that's holding them back as well," she said. "I think we all need to be part of this conversation when it comes to body image. It's not just for women, it's for everybody." After the success of the documentaries for women and kids, she now plans to make one focused on men.

It's probably not mainstream enough, but wouldn't it be wonderful if mental battles dealing with gynecomastia were mentioned in her proposed documentary about men?

[Johndoe1]

Johndoe1, I know its easier to hide our larger chest with an added few pounds in other areas.  I hope your beyond that and have a better grip on things now.  I'll bet your not the only one who gained to hide, and I'm sure others have gained weight only to find they gained in the chest also. 
I can relate a few pounds once on are harder to keep off for good. 

Thank you Orb. In those days I didn't have the emotional maturity to deal with my breasts. Today is a much different story. I wear what is comfortable and if my chest shows, then it shows. I don't care.

 I have found that most women do NOT run around trying to show off their breasts all the time. They have specific times when they WANT their breasts to be emphasized, but mostly they want to not be the center of attention. Of course you have some women who are overly sexualized all the time on purpose, but most aren't and that is when you see them wearing comfortable tops that don't purposely emphasize their breasts, while still maintaining their femininity. I have tried to learn from that and it has served me well so far.

[Orb]

That is a great place to be.  Good for you!

I only hope others reading these threads can, with words as written here, can get to that place as well.

[gotgyne]

In Germany some private lingerie shops (no chains) are members of a "No Body Shaming" or "Body Positivity" movement. Often these shops welcome not only women but also men who buy bras, panties, corsets and other items of lingerie for themselves.
John

[aboywithgirls]

John,
You are so right! While I went for years wearing women's slacks and jeans and even blouses along with bras and panties, I did my best to still try to present somewhere between masculine and androgynous. 

That being said, I did alot of studying of what the ladies would wear to the office where I work. I also studied what they wore shopping, grocery shopping, out on a date, and even formal occasions.

When I transitioned, I was so fortunate to have my wife's guidance as well as alot of mental notes to go by. As a woman, I have the ability to show the fact that I indeed have breasts and that my bra line shows through like the other girls at work. Yes, my boobs and bras did show through before transitioning but, I could be more open and feel more comfortable around new people who didn't know how large man boobs could grow. 

I wish all of you peace with yourself, your figure and with what you choose to wear. My breasts and hips didn't make me a woman. Nor did any GRS. My womanhood stemmed from my heart, soul and mind which made my acceptance easier. 

Love you guys. And thank you ❤️ for accepting me. 

❤️Sophie ❤️

[Orb]

John, I think that's awsome.  Its to bad we have to put a name on something that should be common courtesy.  Being a kind and a good human. 

Sophie your right.  Read the cues from the women around us and apply.

I Too am glad your here.  

[gotgyne]

Hi Sophie and Orb,
 
both of you are so right.
In the USA there are some women too, who accept us as we are. One example is Erica, the former co-owner of 'A Sophisticated Pair', a specialty bra shop based in NC from 2011 until the fall of 2020 (from her own description).
She has two articles by a guest author about gynecomastia on her website.
https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey/

https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey-pt-2/

John

[Rich meier]

very interesting articles but the bra calculater stiil gives abigger cup size that doesnt fit me
 I reallneed a fitting but in the mean time I will stick with my sports bras and leisure bras

[Johndoe1]

She has two articles by a guest author about gynecomastia on her website.
https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey/

https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey-pt-2/

And I was the guest author. Surprise!

[Evolver]

John,
You are so right! While I went for years wearing women's slacks and jeans and even blouses along with bras and panties, I did my best to still try to present somewhere between masculine and androgynous.

That being said, I did alot of studying of what the ladies would wear to the office where I work. I also studied what they wore shopping, grocery shopping, out on a date, and even formal occasions.

When I transitioned, I was so fortunate to have my wife's guidance as well as alot of mental notes to go by. As a woman, I have the ability to show the fact that I indeed have breasts and that my bra line shows through like the other girls at work. Yes, my boobs and bras did show through before transitioning but, I could be more open and feel more comfortable around new people who didn't know how large man boobs could grow.

I wish all of you peace with yourself, your figure and with what you choose to wear. My breasts and hips didn't make me a woman. Nor did any GRS. My womanhood stemmed from my heart, soul and mind which made my acceptance easier.

Love you guys. And thank you ❤️ for accepting me.

❤️Sophie ❤️

Scarily accurate!

I'm not transitioning, but I am letting my appearance change a bit in order to better acknowledge how I feel about myself nowadays. For those that don't know, I'm growing my hair. Now, I spend far too much time studying women and taking mental notes of different hairstyles etc. It's never ending! I think it's perfectly natural to observe others when heading in a different direction to one's old self though.  

Sophie, your saying about heart, soul and mind, I know you've mentioned that before, but it resonates just as strong now. Those words should be immortalized.

No, thank YOU.🤗 Like it or not, you're our guru, and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that you are universally respected, loved and admired here. ❤️