Crossdressing?

[gotgyne]

"Reasons." Too many to list probably. Here's a few.

Needing clothing to suit body shape
Wanting to appear as a woman
Wanting to be a woman
Wanting to look pretty
Wanting to feel sexy
Wanting to feel normal
And the one that most people in society don't understand, needing to feel normal.

To me the most important reason for a definition of crossdressing is "wanting to appear as a woman". I am bald-headed, I have a moustache, I don't wear breast forms, I don't wear a wig, I don't wear high heels and so on. For the public I am a man with breasts who wears a bra and I am very comfortable with this. So for me, a man who wears all the mentioned items to appear like a women is a crossdresser but not me.

[42CSurprise!]

The sexual hormones are not in every case the reason. I developed gynecomastia since an age of 45 years. And it was not only menopause but that I took hops pills for some years before. I knew about the "side effects", planned them and it worked. Later I told my female doctor about my TG issues and I got estrogen per prescription. But I shall stay a man with breasts although I would prefer to be a woman if I could. But I'd never pass as a woman, thus I'll nobody else tell my aims. Shortly I mentioned, that I told this a former female colleague. I should not have done it. For the public I'm a man with breasts and I'll continue this way. And of course I'll never visit a sauna or a restroom only for women, since I have my male genitals.

From what I read hops are rich in phytoestrogen... which suggests taking those pills is similar to taking estrogen directly, as you eventually did.  You were giving mother nature a run for her money... and with some success it appears.  Clearly, you're a breed apart... not simply responding to what is happening in your body, but committed to breast growth as way to sneak up on womanhood.  You're simply choosing not to go all the way.  I guess that your story is proof positive that there are myriad ways of living a life.  In the world of fantasy, I'd welcome being a woman but in reality, I will remain a man with breasts who enjoys wearing a sexy brassiere.  I'm content with that and it appears you're content with where you are at the moment on the gender continuum.  So be it!

[gotgyne]

The sexual hormones are not in every case the reason. I developed gynecomastia since an age of 45 years. And it was not only menopause but that I took hops pills for some years before. I knew about the "side effects", planned them and it worked. Later I told my female doctor about my TG issues and I got estrogen per prescription. But I shall stay a man with breasts although I would prefer to be a woman if I could. But I'd never pass as a woman, thus I'll nobody else tell my aims. Shortly I mentioned, that I told this a former female colleague. I should not have done it. For the public I'm a man with breasts and I'll continue this way. And of course I'll never visit a sauna or a restroom only for women, since I have my male genitals.

From what I read hops are rich in phytoestrogen... which suggests taking those pills is similar to taking estrogen directly, as you eventually did.  You were giving mother nature a run for her money... and with some success it appears.  Clearly, you're a breed apart... not simply responding to what is happening in your body, but committed to breast growth as way to sneak up on womanhood.  You're simply choosing not to go all the way.  I guess that your story is proof positive that there are myriad ways of living a life.  In the world of fantasy, I'd welcome being a woman but in reality, I will remain a man with breasts who enjoys wearing a sexy brassiere.  I'm content with that and it appears you're content with where you are at the moment on the gender continuum.  So be it!

42CSurprise, you're completely right. Everyone of us is different and I believe that there are not two persons who are exactly the same. I have asked myself for decades "who am I?" and "why is me this way?" but some years ago I've stopped asking and am living my life. All of us should not cling to definitions, instead we should live how we must live. Of course this includes not to harm other people. But I mean this within the rules of law. If someone gets problems with the wife, girlfriend or friend for example (you may note that I avoid pronouns) because of wearing a bra, it is the problem of these two persons.

[42CSurprise!]

42CSurprise, you're completely right. Everyone of us is different and I believe that there are not two persons who are exactly the same. I have asked myself for decades "who am I?" and "why is me this way?" but some years ago I've stopped asking and am living my life. All of us should not cling to definitions, instead we should live how we must live. Of course this includes not to harm other people. But I mean this within the rules of law. If someone gets problems with the wife, girlfriend or friend for example (you may note that I avoid pronouns) because of wearing a bra, it is the problem of these two persons.

Just a heads up... I sent you a private message.  I know I've been terrible at keeping track of conversations so perhaps you don't use that feature.  I miss private messages all the time...

[HeldUp]

Definitions lie in both the eye of the beholder and the mind of the beheld. To one, wearing a bra for gynecomastia is crossdressing while most here would starkly refute that. To another, upon viewing someone AMAB in a dress, might consider that person as crossdressing but the person in the dress is presenting themselves as they see themselves. At the root of the word, it's not problematic, but the word carries strong social stigmas.

Per the simplest definition (socially identified male wears clothing socially assigned to the female population), I have crossdressed. I have worn clothing marketed to women and undergarments designed for women (though I have breasts). Do I consider myself a crossdresser? Outside the base definition, I do not. However, society will perceive me ultimately as they do. Do I care if they considered me, on my trip to the coffee shop in leggings and a t-shirt with strap adjusters likely noticeable, as a crossdresser? Ultimately, no. Did anyone? I cannot say.

[taxmapper]

Well trolling some of the crossdressing websites, I am seeing some info that I can relate to. 

Because I have now found that frame wise my body still fits better in women's than men's clothing, I have to wonder what is happening.   

Some discussions go into the more abstract and esoteric aspects, but I see alot of discussion about feelings and personal experience, and alot of people talking about relationships. many going sour, some enhanced.  


But because I am not wearing outright dresses and skirts, just jeans, it can still pass as male attire. 


Falsie, and wigs for me are out, at least for color and hair is now naturally long. its still weird and yes somewhat uncomfortable. but also revealing. 

[gotgyne]

I’m a crossdresser. Women’s clothing fits me better and are way more comfortable than men’s.
...
So yes I am a crossdresser only by necessity because of the shape of my body.
I look back and wish I had the masculine body and features boys and men should have.
What I would have given in my 20s,30s and 40s just to be have whiskers to shave.
It is what it is, to have small features and a feminine body is just the luck of the draw I guess. I have of learned to live with it.

In my opinion as long as you are noticeable as a man you're no crossdresser, completely independent of what you wear. Women wear all kinds of men's clothing, sometimes even underwear. They are never looked upon as crossdressers.

[Gino]

"Crossdressing" is just a word, one applied only to men by people who want to negatively compartmentalize others. Women wear every single article of men's wear and I've never heard that they're crossdressers when doing so.  

So wear what fits, what's comfortable, and suits YOU.  

[perky]

I'm a cross dresser and have been since I was about 7 years old. I'm heterosexual and I have no desire to be a woman but I've always enjoyed presenting myself as a female. I guess one of the reasons I enjoy it is because, well...If I say so myself, I do actually make a very attractive and 100% passible female. If I didn't I'm not sure I would still do it these days. I've always been slim and my boob growth only began about 5 years ago. This has enhanced my cross dressing for sure but is not the reason I cross dress and I'll never know why I ever started. 

[Evolver]

I'll never know why I ever started.

Doesn't matter.

My philosophy on life is that we are all hurtling through space as passengers on the same ship. You can try and grab the steering wheel and either turn around or keep going but because we will all end up at the same destination anyway, you may as well just shrug your shoulders and just go along for the ride! 

[Mature]

I don't really know when or where crossdressing and fetish cross over. All I know is that female structured clothing doesn't really fit well on the majority of males in one dimension or other, just look to the threads here trying to find bra sizes that fit. That may in fact be part of its attraction to certain partakers.

When girls wear male clothing it basically just comes across as oversize rather than ill fitting. I don't believe girls wearing guy clothes get anywhere near the same stimulation as guys wearing girl clothes.

Perhaps it's all just marketing. Years ago in Australia there used to be a brand of panties called "His Pants For Her" however they were never brave enough to bring out a "Her Pants For Him" range.

[Johndoe1]

The way I see it is a crossdresser is dressing to present as the opposite gender or to disguise themselves from their assigned birth gender in some way. If you supplement your wardrobe with opposite gender as fashion or need due to body shape, I don't see that as crossdressing. Many celeb's will suppliment their fashion with pieces from the other side of the isle, both men and women and no one says they are crossdressing.

Some might say Joni Dee is crossdressing. I don't see that as crossdressing at all. Joni is dressing to fit the body, not to be female and big props to Joni doing what works. Big difference in my book even though I suspect Joni mostly doesn't wear male tagged clothing because male tagged clothing doesn't fit. Joni isn't trying to present female. Others fall into that same category as well. Many here, including myself. I am just trying to get clothing that fits my estrogen infused body, not trying to present female. Due to my bust size, bras have become pretty much a necessity for comfort and appearance (something society terms "feminine" or "womanly" because women do this for the same reason I am) and male tops don't really fit me with my projection. Women's polos and tanks and button ups fit me much better. I am not trying to present female. Just trying to keep my bust undercontrol and looking it's best in my clothing. And sometimes it looks quite feminine but not because I want it to. My body just is. It has traits society deems "female" but in reality it's just "human." It's up to me how I wish to deal with it. What people call it is on them, not me.

Your mileage may vary.

[gotgyne]

The way I see it is a crossdresser is dressing to present as the opposite gender or to disguise themselves from their assigned birth gender in some way. If you supplement your wardrobe with opposite gender as fashion or need due to body shape, I don't see that as crossdressing. Many celeb's will suppliment their fashion with pieces from the other side of the isle, both men and women and no one says they are crossdressing.

Some might say Joni Dee is crossdressing. I don't see that as crossdressing at all. Joni is dressing to fit the body, not to be female and big props to Joni doing what works. Big difference in my book even though I suspect Joni mostly doesn't wear male tagged clothing because male tagged clothing doesn't fit. Joni isn't trying to present female. Others fall into that same category as well. Many here, including myself. I am just trying to get clothing that fits my estrogen infused body, not trying to present female. Due to my bust size, bras have become pretty much a necessity for comfort and appearance (something society terms "feminine" or "womanly" because women do this for the same reason I am) and male tops don't really fit me with my projection. Women's polos and tanks and button ups fit me much better. I am not trying to present female. Just trying to keep my bust undercontrol and looking it's best in my clothing. And sometimes it looks quite feminine but not because I want it to. My body just is. It has traits society deems "female" but in reality it's just "human." It's up to me how I wish to deal with it. What people call it is on them, not me.

Your mileage may vary.

I see it exactly the same way.

[gotgyne]

"Crossdressing" is just a word, one applied only to men by people who want to negatively compartmentalize others. Women wear every single article of men's wear and I've never heard that they're crossdressers when doing so. 

So wear what fits, what's comfortable, and suits YOU. 

Yes, yes, yes! Couldn't agree more.
John