Author Topic: Our Brother? Our sister? One of Us...  (Read 2287 times)

Offline 42CSurprise!

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I wasn't talking about racism... I was talking about how people use the fact that others are different as occasion to express, even act out their prejudices... as in snickering at the boy who has breasts.  This happens to be an experience many of the men who arrive at this website have encountered along the way...   The folks speaking in the videos i share as part of this discussion have experienced the cruelty rooted in such attitudes and behaviors.  That prompted my observation.

No doubt there is a wide range of things about people that can lead to prejudice... and to mistreatment.  Being Protestant can get a person in trouble in some parts of Ireland, while being Catholic can in other parts of Ireland; being gay can get you killed in some parts of this country.  Negroes in the Jim Crow South probably found those "Whites Only" signs a bit intimidating.  You certainly haven't missed that in your study of American history.  Being different can be the source of embarrassment but it can lead to much more dire consequences.


Offline 42CSurprise!

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This is a powerful statement about differences from a person on the intersex spectrum...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB7nbvD8rQk

Online Justagirl💃

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This is a powerful statement about differences from a person on the intersex spectrum...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB7nbvD8rQk
One of the CNA's that helps me transfer in the restroom asked me something out of the blue, "what's is it like to be intersex?"

When you are young you don't know. I guess you don't notice things. Then your older brother mentions the fact that we were built different, and your start asking questions. Grandma says, "you are special and your can be whoever you want to be."

AMAB and without the thingy down below was weird in restrooms as I got older (mine looks like a large clitoris, but I do have descended testes). I tried a urinal a couple times and peed all over myself. (My pee hole is on the underside).

Then puberty happened and I went the wrong direction according to my father.
I learned to be ashamed, and believe I had a deformity. The two gender boxes theology was embedded into my brain as being the accepted norm. Two years of testosterone treatments tried to "fix" the problem at about 17.
I knew I was intersex since my youth, but the extent wasn't known until an ultrasound a few years ago found a uterus and fallopian tubes lurking inside. Pretty much the direction puberty took me and how I feel made much more sense now. 

I don't "feel" any different than anyone else I suppose. I just feel like me. Thank goodness I finally accepted myself for who I am and not what society deems me as being.

I regret the testosterone treatments, but as a teen I wasn't given a choice. 

No matter what, it's just learning to be comfortable in your own skin.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2024, 05:36:49 PM by Justagirl💃 »
When life gives you curves,
flaunt them! 💃
💋Birdie💋

Online Justagirl💃

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For those of you that know my journey, this is but "icing on the cake" for my storyline here on the forum.


I started this forum several years ago, and I was hiding behind bib overalls, baggy shirts, and layers.
My virtual presence, of course, started right there, but my life story really started to take off about puberty (much like several of you as well).


I was of course born intersex, but the extent of it was not really known since ultrasound wasn't around in the early 60's. Gender was determined based off a set of testicals and a very small micro penis that is quite deformed (pee hole is underneath it). My parents would of course been given the lecture from the doctor about caring for an intersex child, and off I went.
Home life changed drastically when my mum abandoned me at the age of 7, and grandma (her mother) took over.


Grandma started raising me as a little girl. I was enrolled in ballet, learned to make wedding cakes, wedding dresses, sewing patterns, and even knit. I was essentially and quite happily a tomboyish little girl.


About 17ish my father stepped in, and life changed drastically. I was taken to doctor after doctor looking to "fix" my large breasts and quite large hips. A sports doctor was finally enlisted as long as I was "doing sports."
The ballet of course went away, and I was enlisted in football as well as a slew of other sports. I failed miserbly at all the sports except tennis and water ballet I was allowed water ballet since I finished all of swimming lessons I could attend.
During this time period I was given testosterone treatments for two years to bring my level within the normal range (I had very low testosterone).


I also remember a grave accident that struck my lower torso, and an ultrasound was performed to check for internal injuries. That happened at about 12-13 years of age. I remember the doctor going over the results and explaining that things were "not right" and I was most likely sterile. My father went over the part about being sterile on the way home but refused to state the reasoning (thank God they were wrong, and I do have children). Nothing more was said about that, and I did heal from my injuries.


45 years of boy-mode started when my father took over, and hiding my curves became a necessity and expected of me.


Fast forward to several years ago, and my pressuring my doctor to further look into things got him to order another ultrasound and bloodwork. Those tests do show that I have XY chromosomes, but I also have a form of androgen insensitivity that allowed me to grow some internal female parts (uterus and fallopian tubes). The condition is called PMDS, and I am most definitely intersex inside and out.


It of course explains why I never fit in with the guys, and why I pretty much think like a girl. We won't get into which way of thinking is correct.


The acceptance side of this forum brought me to accept myself, not only my curves including my DDD breasts, but my inter-feelings. Accept my body for exactly as it is, and even to celebrate me being born this way!


Now the icing on the cake is that I petitioned to have my birth certificate amended reflecting female instead of male, and it went through without a hitch. I have an appointment to update my driver license at the end of this month as well.


Acceptance is all about being yourself, and comfortable in your own skin.



Offline WPW717

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Congrats to you. Wonder how the Center will take to this news.

Your speculation, Birdie?
Regards, Bob

Online Justagirl💃

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Congrats to you. Wonder how the Center will take to this news.

Your speculation, Birdie?
I don't expect things to go well at the centre, my "legal" gender shall however be female. 

Offline Johndoe1

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I hope you have a wonderful life, Birdie being who you are!
Womanhood is not defined by breasts, and breasts are not indicative of womanhood. - Melissa Fabello

Offline taxmapper

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Itll be a switch to say the least.

But good going!   Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to get an omelette 

Offline Traveler

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Congratulations Birdie! Living your authentic self despite the negative nattering. Way to go!

Offline tryingtoaccept

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Redfox 🦊

Online Justagirl💃

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The Mishnah was one of the first compiled books in Judaism after the giving of Torah (bible), and intersex was already a subject matter showing the prevalence in humanity for thousands of years.

1/1500 children born will be under the intersex umbrella, with hundreds of variations contained within it. I myself have PMDS, therefore am intersex.

The rules were pretty much 'undecided' other than application of 'Jewish law'.

"The hermaphrodite is in some ways like men, and in other ways like women. In other ways he is like men and women, and in others he is like neither men nor women.

In what ways is he like men? He causes impurity with white discharge, like men; He dresses like men; He can take a wife but not be taken as a wife, like men. [When he is born] his mother counts the blood of purification, like men; He may not be secluded with women, like men. He is not maintained with the daughters, like men; He transgresses the law of: “You shall not round” (Leviticus 19:2 and “You shall not defile for the dead,” (Leviticus 21:1) like men; And he must perform all the commandments of the Torah, like men.
:
And in what ways is he like women? He causes impurity with red discharge, like women; And he must not be secluded with men, like women; And he doesn’t make his brother’s wife liable for yibbum (levirate marriage); And he does not share [in the inheritance] with the sons, like women; And he cannot eat most holy sacrifices, like women. At his birth his mother counts the blood of her impurity like [they do when they give birth to a] girl; And he is disqualified from being a witness, like women. If he had illicit intercourse, he is disqualified from eating terumah, like women.

In what ways is he like both men and women? One who strikes him or curses him is liable, as in the case of men and women; One who unwittingly kills him must go into exile, and if on purpose, then [the slayer] receives the death penalty, as in the case of men and women. His mother must [at his birth] bring an offering, as in the case of men and women. He may eat holy things that are eaten outside of the Temple; And he may inherit any inheritance, as in the case of men and women.

And in what is he different from both men and women? One does not burn terumah if it came into contact with his discharge, Neither is he liable for entering the temple while impure, unlike men or women. He must not be sold as a Hebrew slave, unlike men or women. He cannot be evaluated, unlike men or women. If one says: “I will be a nazirite, if he is neither a man nor a woman,” then he becomes a nazirite. Rabbi Yose says: the hermaphrodite is a unique creature, and the sages could not decide about him. But this is not so with a tumtum (one of doubtful), for sometimes he is a man and sometimes he is a woman."

(Quoted from the Mishnah)

Intersex is nothing new, but it is rarely talked about. It really need to be talked about more.

Many times those gendered as "boys" will reach a stark contrast to their gender upon reaching puberty, and visa versa.

If intersex, is it really gynecomastia? 
Actually the Greek word gynecomastia simply means 'female breasts'. 


 

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