My gyne got pointed out TWICE today :(

[aloe]

These posts are really amazing, and there's some great suggestions, especially about turning the tables.  Sometimes I get what seem to be sort of indirect comments, like the other day when two guys said something like, "Hey, maybe he wants us to screw him..."  and I just answered, "Remember, that thought went through YOUR head, not mine!"  That shut them up.

I think that when people make rude comments or grab at you or whatever, mostly it is because they are afraid.  They are afraid for their own masculinity, afraid of something different that they dont' understand, maybe even afraid of being interested in your body.  It is particularly pronounced in America, and I would guess also in other English speaking countries like Australia and Canada.  When I lived in the south of Europe, I'd see guys all the time holding hands or touching or walking with their arms around each other.  They were not gay (well, some of them probably were, but that's beside the point).  They were just being friends and showing affection, and no one took it as a sexual thing.  Young kids did it and older men did it.  When you are secure in yourself and strong, you don't need or want to put other people down, and you are not afraid of showing affection.  When you are insecure and afraid you build yourself up by tearing everyone else down.