a womans side

[Jonas]

Hi Elaine, thanks for your comments on the InKubus trail - maybe I shouldn't have told the guy to get laid and forget it, but the i guess from the reaction I got it about right.
I hate the way people try to make a medical condition out of someone who is a bit unusual.  Like saying your daughter has an eating disorder because she is tall.  I hope she knows that although some women have a problem with her height, a lot of men absolutely love it.
You're very lucky (as I am) to have found someone who can accept  your love and return it.  I think it's wonderful that two people who have both suffered so much abuse haven't been hardened by it, but have become capable of loving all the more strongly.
One thing with him, don't explore his breasts if he is still sensitive about them, but when you are hugging him from behind, just gently fondle the nipple.  The male boob is insensitive at first - it needs to be woken up.
I guess some people wonder what made me come onto this site since I don't have a problem.  The main thing is my girlfriend is away on business for two weeks and I've got out of the habit of television, and I wondered if other men allowed their boobs to be part of their sex lives and if other women enjoyed man-boobs as much as my girlfriend does.
Got to go now, work to do

[elaine]

hi again jonas, thanks to you too for your nice comments, yes my daughter is happy with her height now and is soon to be married to a bloke who is considerably shorter than she, she now has found where to get femine shoes and has no issue with wearing high heals and then towering above him !!...however, niether of them care about it at all now. i wish i could be as accepting about my top heavy figure, mates say "your so lucky, if youve got it flaunt it" but i cant, i cover up im afraid!!!!!

i must add, i didnt as such explore his chest, i just made it appear that that was just where my hand rested during a cuddle. i dont think he noticed what i was doing as we are both very "touchy feely affectionate"people and we are always cuddling, holding hands etc.

maybe its not right of me to say....but by being on this site i like to show some of the men on here, that feel so emotionaly damaged and insecure due to gyne, that there are some women out there that dont give a toss about it, that some of us see the man inside ... that if a man is caring,kind,considerate then that means so much more than looks alone. my first 2 husbands where incredibly good looking and had strong male stature, however they where pretty evil inside, but i was young and immpressionable then. ive learnt with age and wisdom to look more closely at the whole package now.i was not prepared nor wanted another relationship on a serious footing since i split from my 2nd husband nearly 6 years ago, but this man swept me off my feet and there was nothing i could do within myself to stop it, and now we are very serious. he is a beautiful person to me, to my kids, to my family and to my friends. he also has lots of confidance and that is what made him so appealing to me, and you too sound confidant in yourself and i admire that, as do so many women.

anyway, i must fly too, i have leeks and potatoes waiting for me to make a soup for tea !!!!! bye for now

[Jonas]

Hi, Elaine, it seems I am getting laid too much and it is affecting my brain.  For the better, i think, but who am I to judge?

It's been really great exchanging words with you, but I think I'll bog out of the site.  Too much intolerance.  Like dissing the misery suffered by a boy I was at school with.  But people always said I shouldn't get into arguments.

Still, something good has come out of it (apart from hearing your point of view).  It made me remember what it was like to be a victim.
Because I'd forgotten.

I was bullied for years because I was a thin little weed.  I was humiliated and mocked because i was totally useless at ball games.  Then i hit puberty.  Suddenly I was the best at track sports (when I wanted to make a point - I wasn't going to do it on demand).  And then I discovered that if the bullies tried anything, I could scare them witless.  They left me alone after that, and my more gentle friends.   And then I discovered girls, and in particular a stunning secretary in my father's office, and i walked around on stilts.  Ok, nothing actually happened, but the lunchtime sunbathing on the roof was something else (for a boy of 14).  Being a bit self-conscious about taking my shirt off was a very small downside to a wonderful package.

You are going to have a wonderful time when you have got all your children out of the nest.  I don't have children myself, but a week ago, my woman and I put her daughter on a jet plane, and at last, our lives are our own.  Too bad she's away right now, but it's only ten more days.

It's amazing, isn't it, when things work out right in the end?

[elaine]

goodbye then jonas,its been niceto exchangewords with you too, and your words have helped me to understand more about this.

my youngest is only 10, so i have a while before she flies the nest, however, i have a wide circle of good friends that take her off my hands for a few days pretty regular, so my man and i do get some good quality time together to do normal adult activities like enjoy a good meal out etc.

you sound like you have a happy life, i wish you and your girlfriend a good happy future.

[norfar1]

i think he should get the crap removed by the best surgeon you can afford, and he should disown the freinds and family that hate on him because of this.

what the crap does the family say anyway? just curious.

[ohgee]

hey! well...i'm a girl...not exactly a woman, i'm only 16 haha...but my boyfriend has gyne and i could care less as well, like you said he could have horrible deformities like six heads and i still would love him...if a girl really cares that a guy has gyne then thats their problem...they're missing out on so many incredible guys   just thought i'd say hey...and that i feel the same way you do

[elaine]

hi again, well in answer to some of the questions....im not too sure just what his family say. and i dont think on the whole he gets too paranoid about what people say, he just gets very annoyed they say it to me. in fact, a while back one of my elder daughters got a bit drunk...she is very flat chested and has gone on about have a boob job for ages now, she is very forward and she just (in a joking way) grabbed his chest and went "phoaw, if only i could have boobs like yours"....i nearly died, wanted the ground to open up and swallow me...he on the other hand laughed his head off. i tried later to appologise but he told me not to worry and that he found it funny. however, it appeared to be the turnning point, it was as though her comment allowed him to start to discuss it with me. we were on holiday and he pointed out several men with what he called "men boobs" and admitted he would never go shirtless anywhere, even a beach...which gave me the opportunity to tell him it wouldnt bother me if he did. so now, every now and then he will bring the subject up just in a "comment" type way and we will talk about it. i dont have any incling that he has or will consider surgery, he just seems to accept its part of his body. and ive noticed now that some of his closest friends will occasionally comment but it doesnt phase him and it is never done in a nasty way by them, so it never seems mallicious....just friendly banter. i feel better by all this now, i dont have to pussy foot about things and niether does he. he has even now opened up and told me he does get sexual stimulation from having his nipples touched.....something i dont as i hate mine so much, so maybe he is luckier than me in that department!!! anyway, just also to add, im loving this bloke more and more as each day goes by, we are extremely happy and moving in together next july. i count my blessings each day in having found him, and having the chance to grow old with him.

[GynecoMan]

i think he is very lucky to have a caring partner  like you  
i wish you both the very best.

[Time_to_fix_it]

Hi,

I would echo the above comment from Gynecoman.  I have only just come upon this thread and I am greatly impressed by Elaine’s comments and observations.

I couldn’t possibly say how other men feel about their gynecomastia, but I can say how it has made me feel.  I am a little unusual in that my gyne came on in later life (late 40s).  I didn’t have to go through the suffering that young men do, but there is a different kind of suffering for late onset sufferers like me.  I feel that this condition has struck at the very heart of how I feel about myself as a man.  I feel that as a man I should look like a man and this condition has changed that.  How women perceive sufferers like us is also very important to me.  I am fortunate in that I have a partner who feels as Elaine does and that means the world to me and helps me bear this cross I am having to carry.

Elaine I think your comments about your partner and how his gyne has no bearing whatsoever on how you feel about him, will give strength to other sufferers.  I firmly believe that you have made a major contribution to these boards and for that I would like to thank you.

[elaine]

well thank you very much time to fix it, i have on the whole had positive responses from people on this board, ranging from my early comments,questions and requests for help right through to my now understanding more about this condition, how to speak to him, how to be open with him and for that i thank all the kind men on here who have gone out of their way to help me obtain this understanding. i am very pleased you feel my point of view on this being a woman and a partner to a man that has gyne has,will or could give other men a chance to see that in a loving relationship this condition has no detrimental effect on a relationship, and if i have given any man on here a little more confidance in himself, maybe even the knowledge that out in this big wide world there are women out here that dont give two hoots about gyn then i too have served a purpose. i have had again a wonderful weekend with my man and each weekend we are together we get closer, he is at home now working and i am here working and it gets tougher and tougher to be separated during the week from him, i live for the day we finally move in together and separation will no longer be an issue. i am sure that some of the comments i recieve from narrow minded people will then be inflicted on my daughter too, but she is a strong girl, i have bought her up to be open and to talk about her feelings, and should this happen im sure my man and myself can instill the confidance in her to be able to shrug these cruel comments off. in fact some more good has came out of all this, my son in law, who is very fit but i have in 6 years never seen topless has just admitted to me that he too thinks he may have gyn, but he dresses well to hide it. he now speaks to me, says my man has given him confidance in just accepting what he has. so all in all, my man has accepted it, i have accepted it, my 3 daughters have accepted it, and now im helping my son in law to accept it too in himself.  so once again, thankyou to you all in helping me to understand this and enabling me to help my man and my family.

[nasa3]

Hi Elaine

I just want to say thank you so much for coming on these boards, it is so great to hear your caring womans perspective on this issue. I have a great favor to ask you, and that is, to stay in touch with this board, as we have almost no female input, and many of the younger members, being as self conscious as they are, have almost no contact with members of the opposite sex. It will do many of them a world of good to hear your point of view. You have no idea what this stuff does to a young man's self confidence with regards to theopposite sex. So, please check in with us once in a while and give us your great thoughts.

Thanks and God Bless

nasa

[elaine]

thank you nasa, i certainly will stay on these boards and if i help anyone then i am proud to do so. and just maybe my presence on here might open up other women, in fact one young lady has responded with feelings the same as mine, maybe even a son or brother or b/f or husband may get his female side of the family on because i am sure there are many females out there who feel the same as myself. so rest assured, you will be hearing from me regularly.

[O.B.]

Cruelty has no merit, why give it any by letting it upset you?

People who go out of their way to judge others and make demeaning statements are unhappy individuals who feel inadequate in some way themselves. It's a game they play with themselves at the expense of others....the more they find wrong with others, the more "normal" they feel they are.

Think of them naked...do you think you would not see some imperfections? Why give them undeserved attention.

That applies to both men and women.

O.B.