Looking for great surgeon for my 14 yr.old

[sadmomma]

My son is 14 and has suffered with gynecomastia now since he was 11 - with no changes.  All our doctors did the first time we went in was tell us "it'll go away, but he may be 16 or so before it does."  Well, he has been depressed and embarresed long enough! How dare them not give him options like surgery.  If he had to wait until he was 16 that would have an enormous impact on his adult life as well.  He wants to be in wrestling, but he won't because of what they wear.  That alone could impact his college.  He could get scholarships for wrestling, but not if he shys away from it because of the gyne.  He is in awesome shape - not an ounce of fat on his muscular little physique.  This will be his 3rd missed summer - no pools of course and what about wearing 2 shirts in texas summer heat?  I know I am rambling so I will get to the point of this post, do any of you know of a great ps in or around texas?  Oh, and by the way, he has already seen an endocrinologist a yr and half ago, but I'm taking him back one more time before his surgery.  I love him so much and hate for him to hurt like this.  Please give me some encouragement to pass on to him.  Thanks!

[keelo]

I'm sure somebody here can help you. I just wanted to say i wish there was more moms like you. A supportive parent can really make the whole experience easier.

Thats great that you are trying to take action at a young age. Im only 16 but it feels like i have missed out on so much.

Get him in to surgery. Then he can get all the girls....go swimming.....no more extra layers of clothing.....he can wrestle (something i want to do too but i only have 1 year left and im probably not going to be able to get the surgery done in time, so no wrestling for me)......basically live life to the fullest. Gyne is a terrible thing......it ruins lives everyday.........

[headheldhigh01]

Well, he has been depressed and embarresed long enough! How dare them not give him options like surgery.  ... This will be his 3rd missed summer - no pools of course and what about wearing 2 shirts in texas summer heat?  

it would help to better understand why they said that, even given all you say.  they might be concerned about the fact that the hormones need to restabilize, or otherwise it could return soon after, and then people get mad and say "why didn't you tell us it could come back, you just wanted to do the op so you could get two pricey surgeries out of us instead of one," etc.  for your kid's own sake, they probably want to make sure he's reasonably out of the range of things they can't control.  

i sympathize 100%, because i lost all the things you don't want him to lose, and much more, but it may not be possible to control everything here.  people like bermant will sometimes take early cases if they're satisfied first the recurrance risk is minimal, but people get real unhappy too if things in any way go wrong.  

as much as i hate to say it, and i don't expect you to like it, when you lose eight times more than three years, or for some guys way more than that, you gain a very different perspective, it could be much worse than three years.  get a second opinion, or ask for more detail out of your first doc.  dialog with him, explain your issues.  but hear him out too, be sure you're hearing what he's saying before you go all over him with the "how dare you" business first.  

that said, i'm with keelo, i think it's great that you're doing everything for your kid that you can.  it didn't happen that way with most of us or me.  

[sadmomma]

Thank you for your replies.  My heart totally goes out to you keelo.  I am so sorry you have had to struggle with this issue.  My heart breaks for everyone that suffers - especially the kids.  Not that it hurts less for adults, I just think most adults are better equipped emotionally than teens - or atleast they should be.  Headheldhigh01, I have done research and referred to some of the doctors who have been highly esteemed on this board and one of them actually said if the gyne had been stable for atleast 2 years and he was not hefty, he would be a good candidate.  I recently took my son back to our family physician and he said the same thing.  I am going to the endo. 1 more time to see what they say.  They know I am looking at surgical options here.  I am to the point that if I have to get him 2 surgeries, I would.  I would go broke helping him with this.  I am no extremist nut,  my son has waited 3 years for this to go away and it hasn't even budged!

I am still waiting to get referrals, anyone out there with a great surgeon??  

[jones357]

I think everyone on this site feels for you and your son.  You must really have a good relationship with him if he is open about how much it bothers him.  I think a lot of us suffered in private.  Unfortunately, you will probably get a lot of docs who are hesitant because of his age.  I played football on scholarship in college. Don't let your son sit out of sports because of this problem.  He will regret it the rest of his life.  It really really sucks to get teased in the locker room, but if he is good it won't overshaddow his performance.  I dreaded every shower I had to take, but I could not let that stand in the way of my dreams to play college ball.  I know it is hard, but even if he can't get surgery,  talk him into playing anyway.  Now as for the pools, I missed all of that stuff and used that time to lift more weights and get better at sports.  Good luck to both of you. He is lucky to have your support.

[sadmomma]

Jones - thank you for your words of encouragement.  It really means a lot to me.  I told my son the doctor may decide not to do his surgery until he's 15 and he was none too happy about that.  I am going to introduce him to this board.  It would be great for him to get support from others who have and are suffering with this condition.  

Thanks to all of you!