(Long winded here but i needed to get it out to people who understood and cared)
Im 16 and struggled with my weight for years and years, at 12 years old i was pushing 100 Kg, it had to be the worse years of my life, i had no confidence, no life, no freinds and looking back on the photos i never smiled - still kills my mum inside.
I hated the whole 'boy with breasts' comments and went on a whole diet and exercise plan, it took a couple of years until it really kicked in after the nights going hungry, bitterness to a personal trainer and the hating of myself. I could not be the real me, i could not wear tshirts, i could never enjoy a beach holiday, no swimming etc. I can remember that thinking this strange spot on my arm was the cause of it and so tried to tear it off with my teeth - strange but it shows how lost i really was.
I dont think non gyne victims appreciate the embarassment and restrictions that come with gyne, its easy for parents to say 'dont worry no one cares' and 'dont be so silly its only puppy fat' but no matter how old you are you know that people will stare and laugh.
The most horrible time i had with it was in a pool when i was 10, i can remember every single detail and it breaks me up inside now, i was playing a swimming pool version of hide and seek after being heavily persuaded to go out with the family for some fun. I hid behind this family and the man looked at me and told his partner - 'look hes got bigger breasts than you' - right infront of me, i was literally an arm away from them - i was devestated and didnt swim for years.
Its life ruining. You start to question if you are a boy or a girl, your sexuality, your role etc, it really is so so harsh on everyone. I use to walk out of the house with god knows how many belts tied around my chest thinking it would help - only did i stop when i realised that it changed nothing including my confidence, they were still there, these simple handfuls of fat were killing my childhood.
I turned 15 and was slim and athletic and playing sport reguarly, i was happier but still held back from living the typical teen life. I went to the doctor god knows how many times - the response was more exercise. After numerous appoinments and being on the verge of being too skinny i went to another doctor, hormone and blood tests were carried out and showed that all was normal but i had heaps of excess fat etc in my chests. It was described as a 'freak' case by one nurse who was a familar with such problems.
Slowly i was awaiting an appointment with a surgeon, it came and i was going to have the operation -- at a cost, the NHS (UK health service) were not satisfied with the case despite showing that its effected me mentally and physically - seems being suicidal was not enough for them, so private we went - without the insurance company coughing up - seems you have to die before some money is leaked out of them.
It was frightening, i was 15 and waiting for something which would change my life... three operations later and we are there. Horray.
My point is that is there really anything worse out there, i would love to speak to other teens which have had similar experiences, its horrible, life ruining, especially for severe cases - its so fragile and personal and yet there is no clear help - thank god for this website - what a saviour it really is. Thanks
Topic: A Teenagers Story of The Childhood Killer - Gyne (Read 3682 times)
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