Hey guys, I've been reading these forums for quite some time now and I feel that this is one of two places that I can feel comfortable speaking about my gynecomastia (the other being my shrink). This may seem pointless to some, but I'm getting nervous and can't sleep seeing as how my surgery is tomorrow at 2 pm.
I'm scared, nervous, and worried, but at the same time I'm hopeful, excited, and anxious. I'm hoping that my surgery (excision only) will be able to turn my life back towards the directions it was in two years ago before I developed gyno. Man, this has really made things hard for me. I had JUST gotten certified as a lifeguard and applied for many jobs...only to develop gyno 3 months later. I finally had caught up in height to everyone of my friends...I was always going shirtless and getting compliments. I really do hope this surgery allows me to be able to wear my old t shirts again confidently without my nipples sticking out. I'm in very good shape, the only deformity I have is my puffy nipples. And from what two PS's and one endo have told me I have VERY minor gyno. But that's just according to them...they don't live with it 24/7. They don't have to wear black t-shirts everyday...or put scotch tape on their nipples just to feel normal for a day. I want my life back. I want my happiness and confidence back. I've experienced a lot of heartache in my short 17 years of life (gyno+ A LOT MORE)...ah man I really hope this surgeon can help me out tomorrow. I'm worried he won't remove enough tissue or something else that will prevent my nipples from being flat again...I'm not asking to look like Brad Pitt or an abercrombie and fitch model...I just want to look normal. Is that really so much to ask?
Guys, my physical case of gyno may not be as bad as yours...but for me this has caused severe psychological damage over the past two years.
I can't sleep right now...my mind is in a million places. For those of you who believe in Christ please pray for me...I really need God's help! And for those of you who don't believe in Christ just tell me good luck! I just want some support...I feel like no one really understands the pain. My mom and sister tell me it doesn't look bad at all...but they don't get it.
I work so hard at everything...I exercise and diet like a mofo only to see my nipples stay the exact same while my sister complains about weight problems..it's frustrating seeing how others think their problems are worse but in reality they're not. As the rest of you know gyno cannot be 'worked' off. I DO WORK HARD....I've fought this for two years and gone through so much crap...I had to deal with a very angry/abusive/narcissistic father during my childhood and went through years of counseling to recover. He ruined my family and my life as I knew it. But I worked through it. By 9th grade I was finally happy with life. I loved everyone, everyone loved me. I loved myself as one should, I had security and confidence. Then right after I had started bulking up, got taller, was making great grades in school, became a lifeguard, GYNO CAME. No longer could I go shirtless without being teased, no longer could I wear t-shirts without logos on them or white or any plain t-shirt. No...I had to hide. And after two years of constant psychological pain and hiding I've become fed up. I've worked my butt off to get my body into peak condition and I will not stand for this anymore. Tomorrow I hope will be a turning point once again in my life.
Going back to my past, I found out from my mom dad had suffered from gynecomastia as well, only much much worse than I. This isn't fair. I am cursed by him even 7 years after his suicide...but tomorrow I can finally rid myself of the pain he has caused me. This is the only thing holding me down. Gynecomastia is like 9" nail that has hammered both my feet stacked on top of each other straight into the ground with blood spurting all directions. I will remove that nail and watch the blood dry, and I will watch it heal. I will clean up the blood and move on. I will get through this.
If anyone actually made it to the bottom of this rant of mine I thank you for your time. For all of you out there who suffer as I do, I give you my highest regards. You are a true man if you can stand up to this problem. All of us that have gyno; we suffer a problem hidden from our society. We suffer in ways that cannot be helped by ourselves...we have taken a mighty toll.
BTW: I apologize for the extreme disorganization of this message and the errors I may have made but it's late and I really just needed to rant.
Wish me look guys! And I WILL post some post-op photos in the future!
God Bless You All!