TiredofIt's Diary

[TiredofIt]

I'm on the other side!

We just got back to the hotel, and I'm happy to say I feel great and everything went well. I came out of the anesthesia about two hours ago, and I feel totally normal, mentally. In fact they said that I "woke up" better than anybody had in a long time. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll start with last night.

The night before -- now that's a surreal time. All of the thinking and preparation, not to mention years of living with gynecomastia, and I was one good night's sleep away from putting it in the past. Ha! That good night's sleep just didn't really materialize. I fell asleep around 1 am, but I kept having weird sensations. At one point, I was freaked out because I had woken up and had a drink from the water fountain, and I wasn't supposed to drink anything after midnight. Then I finally realized I was in a hotel room and, well, there's no water fountain in here. False alarm. Later, when I finally slept deeply enough for REM sleep, I had a bizarre dream that my wife and I were going to Dr. Bermant's office. Only we were on foot, and his office was in New York City, and we were at the top of an asphalt mountain looking down on Manhattan, and for some reason we had to be sure to get a shopping cart down the mountain with us. I finally realized the absurdity of what was going on and woke up. So I guess you could say my surgery was on my mind as I was trying to get some sleep!

Our wake-up call came late, but it didn't matter because I knew what time it was anyway. We got up and out quickly, and because we were about 30 minutes early when we made it to the office, we decided to wash our car. We made it back to the office about ten minutes early and went inside. I was definitely experiencing my share of nervous excitement at this point, but I also felt pretty calm and confident. I guess it was a mix of emotions, but I was definitely very composed. From the moment I had first stepped into his office yesterday, I felt very sure that I was in capable hands. I had to wait about 10 minutes or so, so I borrowed my wife's iPod and played My Morning Jacket's "Golden" to help me stay relaxed. (If you guys don't know this band, check them out.)

Finally I met Jim, whom I believe is a nurse anesthetist. We had a detailed discussion about the drugs he'd be using. This guy has 30 years of experience and made me feel very confident about the anesthesia. He then brought my wife into the room to explain to her what was going to be used, and also to talk about her role in the hours after surgery.

Next I went back into the waiting area, but I wasn't there long enough to get nervous -- only two or three minutes, and another nurse, Charles, came and got me. We went into the staging room and I undressed (except for my socks!) and put on a gown, opening in the back. Charles made a comment that I'd be walking to and from the operating table, and it was time to take care of the "to" part.

I went in and lay down on the operating bed, and I was very comfortable. I did not feel nervous. I just kept my eyes closed and I relaxed. Jim gave me a shot with some sort of a numbing drug in my arm, and then he inserted what I think is called a butterfly IV. There was practically no pain in any of this. They administered my antibiotics through my IV, and then Dr. Bermant started talking to me about my dream vacation. I knew I'd be out soon, but I started talking about Positano, Italy -- a place I will absolutely visit someday. He asked me to describe the colors of the sky, and colors of the sand. He asked who I was with, what we would eat, etc. The last question I remember was: "How does the sand feel?" I said, "It's soft. And warm."

And then I was sitting up and the operation was over. I had been completely out of it. Charles later said that I had asked the same question a couple of times, but soon I felt very sharp, mentally. I believe it was Dr. Bermant who lifted my hands up to feel my "new" chest, and I'm glad I sort of remember this. I guess many people don't come out of the drugs enough and they don't remember this step, but I want to remember it. I felt a flat chest. They helped me put my vest on. Charles and Jim started talking about how quickly I had woken up. I had to go the the bathroom badly, so they walked me to the restroom. Next I went back to the recovery room and lay down again, and my wife came back to see me and I got dressed. I asked about the gland removal, and Charles asked if I wanted to see the gland. I said yes, and brought them in. They were about the size of small peanuts in their shells. Good riddance, bastards. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Charles brought in a wheelchair -- company policy -- and he wheeled me out to the car. And that was it! My follow-up is Monday at 9:30 am.

I was in a bit of pain, but nothing too bad. We drove the 20 minutes to our hotel, and made a detour to a Panero to get some soup and bread. We came up to the room, I took some extra-strength Tylenol, and I had my light lunch.

It's about an hour later now, and I feel pretty good, really. I certainly feel a little pain on my chest, but it's very bearable. If the pain stays at this level, I won't take anything other than Tylenol. I'm chilling in bed right now, and I may try to take a little nap in a bit, but I definitely won't stay in this hotel room all day. We're going to go across the street to the mall, I think, and we'll do dinner and a movie if I feel like it. I actually feel sort of energetic right now.

Some random thoughts:

- I look very different. I thought I would be able to go back to work without anybody asking me what's different about myself, but I don't think that's the case now. I'm a skinny dude, and now I actually look skinny. It's so freaking weird and awesome. A bit ago I just stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself, just trying to get my head wrapped around this change. If my employees knew about my gyne, nobody ever said anything. So I don't know if they'll notice something is specifically different with my chest, or if they'll think something is just different in general. I don't really care, though.

-I haven't seen the results yet, and I won't until my follow-up on Monday at the earliest, but for now I'm very happy with my decision to have Dr. Bermant do this procedure. It was all so professional, and there was never any question in my mind that I was in the hands of both an expert surgeon and an expert staff.

-I used to slump when I stand, but right now, with this vest and the feeling in my chest, I have to stand up straight. And I want to, so that's sort of cool.

-I can't wait to go to the mall, just to look at clothes. I haven't wanted to look at clothes since I was in high school. I very much want to do this now. I won't buy anything now, but it'll be cool to look.

Okay, that' s all I can think of now. I will be sure to post regularly as I go through post-op, and I'll also post photos regularly as soon as I'm able. If anybody has any questions, please don't hesitate to ask me.

It's a brand-new day, guys.

[flex1appeal]

It's a great story and I am sure you feel great! I certainly remember feeling all the things you described both before and post surgery. I am happy for you and make sure you keep us posted with recovery and post op pics! Congrats and I hope your recovery is fast and easy!

[Mr_Nip]

...It's a brand-new day, guys.

... And a brand new life.  Congratulations!   

[TiredofIt]

Thanks, guys.

So we went over to the mall today. We were there for maybe 45 minute and decided we'd take a drive, but by the time we got back to the car I was feeling very sore. My guess is it was a combination of walking around for a while and the anesthesia wearing off. So I took half of a Lortab and came back to the hotel, and I've been relaxing ever since. I feel great.

I've updated my photo page to include photos from last night, which show my mapping, and photos from today with my vest on. http://s135.photobucket.com/albums/q124/TiredofIt2007/

[headheldhigh01]

I said yes, and brought them in. They were about the size of small peanuts in their shells. Good riddance, bastards. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

i always said i wouldn't want to look at them, but if a doc gave them to me i'd strap them onto the next nuke test tower out in the desert for conversion to plasma and new elements

[TiredofIt]

I actually slept pretty well last night. I was propped up on pillows, because it can help keep swelling down, and it wasn't too bad. I probably slept better than I did the night before surgery. My back was a little sore, but nothing too bad.

This morning I was a bit stiff and took half a Lortab, and I've been feeling pretty much fine all day. The discomfort that comes along with this is more from wearing this vest than anything. It's not too bad, but it does get itchy. Getting your back scratched through the vest is incredible.

I feel no pain when I laugh, cough, etc. I kind of expected that it would hurt to laugh or breathe deeply, but it doesn't at all. It's just when I inadvertently use my pecs that I feel some pain, and this has been very slight (because I stop whatever is causing pain immediately).

I actually get to shower tonight, and I'll remove my vest and the gauze when I do. So I guess I'll get to see what I look like tonight. We have new gauze to replace the old when I get out of the shower. I'll be sure to take photos before I put my vest back on, after the shower. I'm nervous to see what I look like.

[TiredofIt]

I took a shower today. It was pretty awkward, but at least I got clean, which feels good. The gauze wasn't coming off easily, and I didn't want to force it, so I still haven't see the real results yet. I'll wait until tomorrow when I go back for my follow up. I'm more nervous about seeing the results than I was going into surgery.

I've taken very little medication today and haven't felt much pain, but I'm starting to hurt a bit now so I'll probably take some Tylenol to see if that takes care of it.

[manzeer]

Excellent diary. Your wife is a saint, give her a hug. It sounds like you've done it right. Congrats man.

[TiredofIt]

Thanks, manzeer. She's really been awesome since I first brought this up.

I went in for my follow-up today, and I finally got to see what I look like (well, pretty much). So here are my two-days-post-op pics:

http://s135.photobucket.com/albums/q124/TiredofIt2007/

I'm very, very happy about how my surgery turned out. I don't have a perfect view yet, but I feel like I'm looking pretty natural, seeing as how I just went under the knife two days ago. I can't believe the lack of swelling and bruising. I'll follow doctor's orders to the T, and when I've healed I'll get to toning my body up. I feel like how I look is in my control now.

The vest had really been bugging me, though, making me red and itchy as hell. Dr. Bermant said that happens with a small percentage of his patients, and I'm not surprised I'm one of them, because my skin doesn't do well with friction. So he suggested I wear a snug T-shirt under the vest, and it's definitely better. And I thought I was through with wearing two t-shirts!

We drove about seven hours to get home today, and being in a car for that long only two days post-op sucked. I was pretty sore by the time I got home. My wife took it as easy as possible, but we just covered a lot of miles. Fortunately I have a light schedule for the next couple of weeks, with no travel planned.

So far, this has just been an awesome experience. I'll continue to post as I heal, and I'll update my photo page every now and then too.

[TiredofIt]

Three days post-op. The pain is still very mild -- I basically get a little sore a couple of times a day. It's no big deal. Unfortunately, my skin isn't digging the vest at all, and I'm really itchy. Wearing a shirt under the vest seemed to help yesterday, but two days into that and I'm back to itching again. I'll talk to Dr. Bermant as early as possible tomorrow and hopefully work out a solution.

I took another shower tonight, and it was a little easier this time. It feels awesome to shower.

Today was my first day back to work, and all went well. It's pretty cool to stand up straight, to walk straight. Wearing this vest has immediately corrected my posture, and hopefully six weeks of it will correct it for good.

I've already posted my post-op pics above, but I'll post more after a week or so. My bruising is just about the same now as it was yesterday.

[TiredofIt]

Thanks. Most of it is under the clear plastic "saran wrap" coating that covers the gauze, and the rest is atop minor bruising, so I'm just leaving it alone for now. I think the marker that's not covered will wash off after a couple more showers, and the rest will go after I take the dressing off on Feb. 14.

[reaper33]

hey tiredofit, great results man congrats,i see that you have a white bandage on your nips, so you haven't taken a look at your nips or the bruising yet, have you? and did you see any endocrinologist before your surgery, and did you know what caused your gyno? have you done anything to prevent it in future?

[TiredofIt]

Hi, Reaper,

Thanks! I haven't seen anything under the white bandages, no, but I can tell by the rest of my chest that bruising is minimal. I have not seen my nips. They were kind of big before, with relatively undefined edges, so I'm curious to see how surgery will affect them. Because gland was removed, there's a good chance that they'll get smaller. I won't see under the bandages until Feb. 14. Of course I'll post photos that day.

I did not see an endocrinologist, and I don't know what caused it. I have no other signs that I have a problem with testosterone. I've had it since I was a kid, and it's essentially been stable for years, so Dr. Bermant says as longs as I stay fit I shouldn't have a recurrence. Believe me, I'll stay fit -- now that I know what life is like without gynecomastia, I'll do whatever it takes to keep it in my past.

[TiredofIt]

Four days post-op. I'm still only feeling pain a few times a day, and I have no problems dealing with it. My problem is this vest. I spoke with Dr. Bermant today, and he had spoken with the manufacturer of my vest. Tomorrow I'm going to try safety-pinning it to my pants so it won't ride up. Most of my discomfort is happening on my lower sides and back. I hope this works; if not, I'll have to go to plan D.

I also want to mention how pleased I am that my doctor and his staff have been so eager to help me post-op. I sent Dr. Bermant an e-mail late last night telling him that I was experiencing discomfort, and he actually responded right away and invited me to call him last night. It was after 10 pm, and I thought that was above and beyond. I waited until today, but I thought it was cool anyway.

I was thinking about something today that I thought I'd share. Less than a week ago I had gynecomastia. I still remember very much how it felt. I remember being able to close my eyes and, without touching myself, being able to literally feel the extra tissue on my chest. I could just feel that it was there. I'm sure a lot of people on this board can relate to that. Anyway, I know some people who are considering surgery worry a little about post-op, about pain, discomfort, etc.

Granted my post-op has been smooth so far, minus the whole itching thing, but it's sooooo much better than feeling that gynecomastia. That was a much, much more painful feeling for me. This new "pain" actually acts as a reminder that the old pain is gone. It makes it even easier to deal with.

[TiredofIt]

Five days post-op. First, new photos:

http://s135.photobucket.com/albums/q124/TiredofIt2007/

Nothing super-different there. You can see that I'm bruised in the center of my chest and more on my left side. My left was bigger before, as you can clearly see in my pre-surgery photos, and the doctor took a bit more fat out from that side, so it's no surprise that I'm a bit more bruised/swollen on that side. My swelling is still minimal, though. My swelling is the worst in the center of my chest, for sure.

I'm happy that today was my best vest day so far. I tried the safety pins, but I'm clearly going to need to try stronger pins, probably baby-diaper pins. My vest is just so short that it's too far from my waistline, and the resistance is too great for normal saftey pins to hold. As backup, I took one of my wife's stretchy, medium T-shirts with me to work. I ended up putting that on under my vest, and I've been pretty comfortable all day. It's stretchy enough that I can get it on easily, but it's snug enough that I have no folds under it. So I'm going to try her T-shirts for a couple of days, if the baby pins don't work. I'll probably end up having to buy her all new shirts after I stretch hers out -- I just hope I don't destroy her Carnivale T-shirt, as I'm not sure she'd forgive me.

Showers are getting much easier, and my wound dressings are holding up very well to the little bit of water that manages to get on them. Leading up to a shower, I can't wait to get my vest off. When the shower is over, I can't wait to get my vest back on. At this stage in post-op, that compression really helps minimize pain.