Bra Shopping With My Wife

[MychalBloodwing]

Yesterday morning, my wife half-heartedly took me bra-shopping at Khol’s. As we entered the women’s section of the store, she became my “personal shopper” and asked me what types of bras I was looking for. She steered me away from any styles with molded or firm cups, which left me with looking at wireless bras with no forms. BUT this is a giant step from her “no bras on my husband” stance.

As this was an exploratory trip to gather sample sizes to see what fit me, I settled on six bras of various styles: 4 Bali wireless bras (sizes XL and 2XL) and 2 Playtex underwire minimizer bras (40C and 42DD). I choose the Playtex bras because they were the only ones with underwires close to my size (40DD), and also because they were different from my target size of 40DD. My wife advised me to not get more than those 6 as she expected that she would be returning them all and the management frowned on customers who keep returning items. Interestingly, she liked one Bali bra with adjustable back hooks that I choose and decided to get one for herself in pink!

At home, I privately tried on my six bras and settled on the two XL Bali bras: one pullover (Nude) and the other (Black) with adjustable back hooks. (See pictures: without and with bras on.) As a test to see how obvious the bras appeared under my shirts, I wore those two for several hours during the day: the nude pullover while eating lunch at the kitchen table with my wife and the black one while walking around the house for several hours in the afternoon. My wife never mentioned a word…no weird looks from her.

This morning, I wore my nude pullover to the pain doctor’s appointment (my wife driving, as I was going to get a steroid injection for my carpal tunnel syndrome wrist condition).

When we got home, she asked if I had tried on the bras and if I had made any decisions. I told her that I had and that I was wearing one. She was completely surprised! I told her about the three times I’d worn them under my shirts and she admitted that she hadn’t noticed anything unusual in my appearance. She said, “Let me see!” So I unbuttoned and took off my shirt and showed how I filled the XL Bali…she wears Bali in a size L.

So, she admits I was right about what I need, but she still doesn’t feel comfortable with me wanting to try underwired bras (too much like I’m transitioning, NOT)…Well, two steps forward.

[SideSet]

She is coming around.  Seems like she acknowledges you have breasts and need to wear a bra. Just a matter of which bras she thinks you need. 

 BTW, you look great in those  bras 

[MychalBloodwing]

Thanks for the compliment, SideSet.

[Busty]

Both bras look good on you, especially the nude colored one.  You definitely fill your bra cups 

[Rich meier]

you look good but imo you need underwire but it is a start

[blad]

You look appropriate in a bra. Those look a bit more stealthy as they could pass for an undershirt if ever seen or felt. Although I have a few like that for the express purpose of stealth around some closer groups of people who are more likely to give a pat on the back, I much prefer the fit and feel of standard cup type bra. 

[bikerbob]

Just my personal opinion, but I think underwires are for "advanced users".  I wore pullovers almost exclusively for a couple of years.  Once I got more comfortable and realized nobody was noticing the bra, I got the confidence to wear the underwires in public.  They do gather up the underarm boob and add almost a cup size, but eventually you get used to them and kind of quit caring if anybody notices you have breasts.  Now I find it kind of amusing when I catch women staring at my chest and trying to decide if they are seeing what they think they see.  You should definitely try an underwire but the hooks and strap adjusters are usually going to show through your shirt.  You may be surprised at how large a cup you fill when you stuff the side boob into it. 

[SideSet]

 In my opinion, Felix is 100% right 

[42CSurprise!]

Probably because I'd done a bit of reading on the subject before I bought my first brassiere I chose an underwire bra with my first purchase.  Although I don't generally wear a bra all day long I have today and it has been a bit of a revelation as well as a bit of a distraction.  I understand that if one is wearing a brassiere every day it becomes second nature, but for me it simply drew my own attention to my breasts which seem quite substantial in the Lilyette Bali minimizer cups.  Because I'm much too shy to go for a fitting, finding the right brassiere has been an adventure, usually played out on E-Bay.  I love this bra but while the C cups work fine, the 42" band isn't big enough for my chest.  The solution... an extender, but that pushed the straps out so far they kept sliding off my shoulders.  The solution... a strap connecting the two straps so they can't move.  At first that seemed absurdly awkward, but eventually I found a way.  Now, the brassiere fits like a glove... no binding, no discomfort... just two very prominent breasts now filling the front of my cotton turtleneck.  Perhaps my fixation with the size of these breasts will diminish.  Time will tell.  But I love how the underwire cups pull everything together.  Underwire is definitely the way to go.

[blad]

42CSurprise, the revelation is a well fitting bra. With the right fit you gain all the benefits of the support while essentially forgetting you even have a bra on for much of the day. I don't think most women are acutely aware of their bra during the days activities. Most of us are more likely to be aware of not wearing a bra.

[aboywithgirls]

The struggle is real! It's 100% true. I have worn a bra daily for over 30 years now. I'm not talking about the struggle of wearing a bra to manage our breasts. That part, I find is easy. I'm well beyond hiding the outline of my bra. I'm talking about fit issues that anyone who wears a bra out of need of comfort, support and shape of their breasts.

I had Friday off and I was in need of a couple of new bras. I went to a local boutique that specializes in bra fitting. They have a wonderful selection of bras in dozens of brands and sizes. I was sized and as I suspected was was 36H UK. Emily, my fitter brought in a dozen bras to start with. She helped me with adjusting the straps and with my permission, she made sure that I was fully scooped up in the cups.  To make a long story short. I tried on at least 30 bras that day. I finally settled on an Elomi Charley lace in black and and Elomi Bijou in a nude color both in a 36H UK.

I didn't necessarily need to be fitted, as I already new my size in a brand that I have worn for years. However, different models can and will fit differently depending on your shape. My biggest issue is my size. Most stores don't carry an H cup UK which is a J cup in  US sizing.

When you do find a bra that truly fits, it makes it very much worth the effort.

[MychalBloodwing]

Hi! I thought I'd poke my head in and tell y'all that tomorrow I'm going to our local Dillard's Department store for a bra fitting...with my wife! She agreed that I needed to be comfortable, and didn't realize I've been wearing my wire free bras. She also agrees that women's mock turtleneck shirts and women's long sleeve polo shirts fit me better than men's shirts. I'm going to Dillard's for underwired bras, and I'll report what happens.

[Johndoe1]

Good for you and good for your wife realizing that you need to be comfortable and confident in your appearance too!

[Orb]

Good for you!  Your wife has had a little time to adjust to you needing and wearing.  The fact is clear your going to find comfort and relief.  Working together, trying on there will be a nice.  Walking away with bras that both agree will work for you.  Nice.

[SideSet]

 Looks like you’ll regularly be in bras and women’s tops for the rest of your life. So good that your wife recognizes that’s what fits you best, so you look and feel best in them