Author Topic: Depression anyone?  (Read 16430 times)

Offline gofast_er

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Well, my story is LOOOONG but I will do my best to make it short. I first became self conscious about my chest when I was 13. I turned 29 somewhat recently. I'm pretty sure it's why I didn't graduate high school. It completely dominated my life. So I couldn't think at school. In class, sometimes I would excuse myself to go "use the bathroom" and just leave. I didn't care about the consequences so long as I could be alone and not seen. So after all that pressure, I think that in my early 20s I had an almost complete mental break down. I worked full time. Besides that I kept myself isolated. This went on for several years. I think by my mid 20s I was somewhat leveling out on an emotional level. Learning to live with it........as best as I could.
Finally about 7-8 months ago I ran into a little luck and came up with some cash. Oh how I wish I would have found this site FIRST! before going to get lipo. I was so excited. I thought that after all these years things were going to be better. W-R-O-N-G. Lipo did absolutely nothing for me. In fact, (and I'm curious if anyone else has had this happen to them) I think the lipo made it worse actually. Like, I have a small layer of fat that kind of distorted the shape of the gland. I am not that heavy of a person. I am 5'6 and about 150-155. So now, with that fat removed, I feel like this only gave my chest even more of a feminine shape to it.
Over the last several  months I have been slipping back into a very bad depression. I had gone from near verge of mental break down to learning to just accept it, to thinking that I was finally getting rid of the problem, to realizing all I did was buy myself some very expensive scars. It would have been better use of the money had I gotten all the cash in one dollar bills and used them as toilet paper. Hell, even 20 or 100 dollar bills.
So I feel like I'm at the point of some pretty bad depression now. I have been isolating myself like a sombitch. I could die and NO ONE would have any clue until my landlord came around looking for rent after the 2nd or 3rd day of my rent being late. Besides that, no one would know. I do go to school but keep to myself. My professors would just assume I had dropped out. Today I was a gas station sitting in my car. All of the sudden I started having thoughts of suicide. Thinking of different ways I would do it. And almost broke down (mentally) completely. I got home and cried like a little bitch for about 5 minutes and since then have just been sitting here alone like usual just feeling mentally numb.
I need to get an excision. I know this is my only chance at a "normal" life......whatever that means at this point. I have isolated myself from people for so long now, I do not know how to have friends or anything like that. I feel so uncomfortable talking to anyone. I just.......I'm at a loss at this point. I doubt I would kill myself. I had thought about it before and have never done it. I think I'd be too afraid to even try. It sure is cheaper than the 5-8 thousand+ it would take for sx though.
So, anyone else have it this bad? Just curious. I'm sure there are some of you but I don't know.......I doubt many took the time to read this long of a post anyway.

Offline gofast_er

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Wait, did I do this all wrong? Is depression the wrong thing? I have been putting all my concerns into only a few issues only to find out one of them just isn't' right. It isn't depression. It's something much much more. I don't want to kill myself. And I wont. But if I get taken out  a stray bus or some other kina crazy accident. Oh well. Death can't be too bad. No worse than prelife. And how was that for all of you non readers? Life before life? I assume death is something much like that. So considering I was there one time....and we all of have to go there again. Whatever happens when we get to that end is where the question lies. Like I said, I'm not planning to kill myself.  But if I get hit by a trainthat knocks me off a bridge, get sucked into the engine of an dash 9 that flys inot the side of a rock hard  Cliff and explodes because it was carrying lots of extra ammo and fuel to provide support shit I think they are on to you. Oh Wait, Death, is ALL I want. I don't want to do it to myself because I am a coward. But death, is all I really want for me but its something I can't do to my self. Death, and a cigarette because even though i just started smoking again after going 1 year6 months and 3 days, I need a cigarette that and death. Because I can't do it  to myself. So someone has to do it for me. Someone someone I don'2 know who of how I guess it will be hard you have nothing to gain by doing this. Actually I am writting """""""""""""god""""""""""""""
so gog, if you do or do not exisist. if you do or do not exist and would be willing to have a bus fall on me plase? I don't know why I keep saying bus. Maybe that's what its suppoed to be? A bush. Want about a car. or train. Hell anything. you get the point.
This ambient is making it hard to organize this Post. I think its about as organized.

Offline user87

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i know how you feel.
i have had three surgeries and i am still not flat! my nips are still puffy.
and it's ok to be depressed. we had big hopes connected to a flat chest but we didn't get that flat chest.
death is not a solution.
there are three things you should do right now!
1. accept the situation as it is! f-u-c-k it! one day you'll be flat!!
2. try to save some money and get another surgery. get another chance! and if it still won't look the way you want it to look, start saving money the third time and get the next surgery!
3. if it's really really that bad and you are ALWAYS depressed then you should go to a psychologist. it's ok to be depressed half the day  ;D but not the whole day.

Offline headheldhigh01

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all of us have probably had depression from mild to severe, depending on when.  it's not just the gyne, it's the effect on the rest of your life.  i didn't lose money to some lipo-only semi-pro, but having gyne for close to 30 years is bad enough.  and you have lots of friends here, because there's almost nobody who doesn't know exactly what you're talking about and could add a few stories of their own. 

by the way, it's good you're clear about suicide, but it's also more expensive, it's just that everyone else gets stuck with the bill, and it costs them lots more than just the money,nobody would do it if they knew the full effects it has.  (also, the people who've been there say being dead is easy if it was your time BUT NOT if you did suicide, and dying itself still sucks.  also both believers and atheists agree you usually have to mostly rely on yourself.)  and i always say i would rather beat gyne than let that evil s**t beat me.  it's cheap words, but you just have to get up one more time than it knocks you down, so take user87's advice.  go back for it again, get the job done right with somebody who knows what he's doing, and nail its a$$  >:( 

 
* a man is more than a body will ever tell
* if it screws up your life the same, is there really any such thing as "mild" gyne?

Offline fluffy_tits

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Yea I think we all have had depression!  I separted myself from everyone to.  I didn't really go anywhere.  I mean I chit chatted through myspace and facebook and stuff so i still kept in touch with people just didn't chill with em.

Thought about suicide  before also.  Also came to a point when i was comfortable with it then got really depressed again about also.  I use to always say, "God why me?  why do you give me huge boobs"  ever say that?   

I've had my surgery though and im very satisfied with it!  Wish i could have gotten it when i wanted it at 15 years old and again at 19 years old.  So I saved my own damn money and got wat i've always wanted!!  I AM FREEE NOW! :)
My before and after surgery pics: Leave a comment if you look!! (HAD THE WRONG LINK UP! THIS IS THE ONE WITH ALL THE PICS)
http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=19342.0

Offline Trycer6

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I had a consultation today and I thought I would schedule the surgery in about a month and a half and finally be free before it got too late and I got too out of touch with people. I'm a senior in high school and I thought that if I had the surgery now I could be normal in college and not be the angry loner who sucks with girls that I am now. But the surgeon was babbling on about how I just needed a little liposuction and my dad was nodding along and I was dying inside. Now my dad is like "well what the hell do you know, you just did some internet research and this guy is a legitimate plastic surgeon" and he says I can either get the liposuction or just forget about it. So yeah, I'm depressed. I was so close (I thought) and it got snatched away. I can't handle it any longer, I swear to god. What the darn am I saying. There is no god. I just got fucked over with some bad genes and now I'm doomed to misery. darn.

Offline fluffy_tits

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I had a consultation today and I thought I would schedule the surgery in about a month and a half and finally be free before it got too late and I got too out of touch with people. I'm a senior in high school and I thought that if I had the surgery now I could be normal in college and not be the angry loner who sucks with girls that I am now. But the surgeon was babbling on about how I just needed a little liposuction and my dad was nodding along and I was dying inside. Now my dad is like "well what the hell do you know, you just did some internet research and this guy is a legitimate plastic surgeon" and he says I can either get the liposuction or just forget about it. So yeah, I'm depressed. I was so close (I thought) and it got snatched away. I can't handle it any longer, I swear to god. What the darn am I saying. There is no god. I just got fucked over with some bad genes and now I'm doomed to misery. darn.


Well sounds like your dad is paying for it and shit that's why he's just tellin you don't worry about it and all dis other bs.  You could save your money and get it done yourself but you in highschool so you prolly don't even have a job.  If I was you i'd show your dad this site and show em some of the pics of surgeries on dr. bermant's site like removing the gland pics and shit like that!  How much is the surgery?

Offline Trycer6

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Yeah I'm really in a bind man. My dad says that all I know is some stuff I read on the internet, and that I need to listen to what an actual doctor is saying. I know this is bullshit but I can also understand where he's coming from. And yeah, you guessed it about me being in high school and not having a job. I don't think I have any other options - maybe I should just hope that the liposuction makes it look minor enough that I'm not self-conscious anymore?

Offline Paa_Paw

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Social isolation and depression are common complaints among us and I was no different.

The degree of depression described in this thread so far actually alarms me. I think those who have indicated the severe depression indicated here should see the Doctor and be honest in that they are there for depression either brought on or complicated by Gynecomastia.

The rather "Ho Hum" response you got from your Dr. could well be because you were too timid about the impact this is having upon you.

The only other possible explanation is that you have a rather insignificant amount of breast enlargement (or none). This did not much impress your surgeon, but You are distorting the matter way beyond a reasonable perspective.

A couple of years ago there was a young man of 15 who expressed severe depression and admitted to thoughts of suicide. He said that his father was unsympathetic. I was able to exchange emails with his father. One day I recieved a personal email from that young man, he said: "I found out that I don't have Gynecomastia after all; I have something much worse called BDD."

See the Doctor again or see another Doctor. Be right up front about the way this is impacting your life. You may need more than just surgery.
Grandpa Dan

Offline johnny125

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I never had a date in high school. I had gyne, which caused me to be socially awkward, especially around girls. I got real depressed. I developed a real serious drug habit when I was 18. I didn't care if it killed me. Life wasn't worth living. Yes, sometimes it seems that everything would be easier if I was dead. It was only during an accidental drug overdose that I saw the damage I was doing to myself and the people who loved me. It isn't fair to leave the worst kind of lifelong hurt on people who love you by dying through your own hand or your own recklessness. I would have died without accomplishing one good thing in life. I would have been remembered as a failure. 

If I didn't have gyne, my life would have probably gone in a different direction. Maybe I would have gotten a lot of girls in high school. I might have gotten married sooner than I did. But I don't know if that would have led to happiness. And without gyne, I wouldn't be the person I am. I figure I am right where I need to be. Gyne is neither good or bad. It's just part of life.

You can either accept your gyne, or have surgery again. And that's all there is to it. I hear a lot of anger in your post about spending all your money on a surgery that failed. It sucks that the surgery didn't come out well. It's understandable that you feel frustrated. I think you are directing that anger toward yourself. Don't do that. 

Offline EatingCake

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I never have had great depression nor have I ever let gyne run my life, though going to the beach and swimming at pools it is always uncomfortable. But I can relate to drug habits, I was so off my tree on tranquilizers, bongs and occasional crack coke that I did not care about the gyne because I was so off my face.

Now that I'm sober and looking to get a good body it has recently become something in my life which has impeded a little (not a lot) but definitely a significant piece of happiness.

RE: Liposuction only made your gynecomastia worse - THAT SCARES ME, I'm having liposuction only done in 5 days because my plastic surgeon believes its excess fatty tissue. I'm thinking now when I wake up it will be worse not better, darn!!!!

I'm going to nail in my PS head before surgery that if an excision must be done do it, and whatever extra it will be for payment it will be done. I just want one surgery and one recovery I dont want to go through all this again because the PS was rushing through patients, I just pray everything is alright.
op pictures: - 12th of December 2009 surgery
http://www.gynecomastia.org/smf/index.php?topic=19668.0

Offline gofast_er

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The only other possible explanation is that you have a rather insignificant amount of breast enlargement (or none). This did not much impress your surgeon, but You are distorting the matter way beyond a reasonable perspective.

I can unfortunately assure you it is not just in my head. I had considered that possibility too. But it really isn't.

I'm tired of being a shut in. I'm afraid my neighbors are going to think I'm that crazy loner guy that they need to be careful of. When in fact I'm really not. I try to be the best person I can be. Always nice to people and try to help anyone whenever I can. But being the loner that I am.....I know the stereo type.
I have isolated my self for so long now that I don't even know how to have a friend. Even talking to people I have to talk to makes me feel weird. Like I don't know what to say.
My dream would be to get sx (the right way next time) and to have all the money in the world to get all the therapy I needed to be at least somewhat normal in social settings.

Offline Whatcha

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I have this gyne for about 35 years now. Yep I'm 35 years old this year, its with me since I can remember. I lost my self esteem, as soon as I realize that I am different from other boys. Am I depressed? Well, obviously yes, I'm socially awkward, loner, but not so much that I don't have friends.

I don't have the money to do the surgery, I married few years ago and saving money for an operation is kind of selfish when your family need that money as bad as you. So I am forced, to learn, to live with my gyne. I used to wear jackets, to make sure my gyne won't show. Lately I don't care much about it because well people don't care much about it as well. Worst is that they make it as some joke and well the best I can do is joining with them, to laugh about my moobs (I'm not saying that I enjoy it, I just pretend that I don't care about it). Fortunately, its rare to find someone around me who will make a joke out of it.

But yes, gyne took out some of my best years out of my life. I never have the courage to learn swimming until I feel that I'm too old to learn swimming. I never have the courage to pursue my first crush and it prevent me to do many things I want to do, like join the army or be a boxer.

I'm 35 and this moobs still annoy me but I guess I just have to learn with it.

I hope you can find some friend in this site. Perhaps that would help you to get through with it. Don't give up, I agree that if you can saving money for the operation, well perhaps you could give it another try.

Offline occasional fighter

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Depression tell me about it!1
I've had gyne since the age of 13. (21 now) And it's not rly big like female brests it's just pimples like sharp ended cones sticking straight ahead from my chest about an inch and a half longer than the chest is supposed to be. And 30% of the times it might even be imperceptible (in a t-shirt or even naked, in some positions). but when it is noticed - the disgust and embarassment appears instantly on the faces of ppl who notice it. that burns me on the inside. I'm not fat I've always been pretty average sized, even slimmer so the whole looks of it is really disturbing to ppl.
The unccommon thing is, I've also had some personality issues since an early childhood, very weird personality issues like social phobia and annoyingness and grose selfishness combined with cowardice and almost girly self-conciousness. ppl used to hate and disrespect me a lot for almost my whole life although I'm pretty handsome in the face. and there had been a point in my life when I'd gotten rid of those issues (it was a period when I had decided to go in a shirt all summer for a couple of years) because I'm generally a good and a smart guy who just got messed up by his washup of a father and because I had hit 17, went to colledge, made a bunch of new acquaintances and discovered weed at the same time, so I kinda changed for good and dumped all the sick destructive behaviours (just completely hiding my gyno under a double shirt during summers). But then in a couple of years of a pretty sweet life with lots of friends (except beach activities) I decided I could finally defeat the gyno issue by overcoming self-conciousness and accepting me for who I am completely. and I went to the sea with a bunch of friends deciding to win the whole issue cold turkey by just taking off my shirt and going into it head first. That's where the breakdown ensued.. I received a couple of bad reactions, a couple of laughs and a couple of disgusted/embarassed looks from some girls and totally caved in for the whole vacation... and for the following two years too - I just couldn't help feeling like a complete waste and a failure after that summer - it totally broke me. Moreso, my childhood messed-upness kinda emerged again out of the blue and I got all sloppy and painfully awkward and all inadequate again just like old times in school. so ppl have a good reason to hate and dismiss me which they all (!) do. That's a great recipe for depression my friend. But I wonder now: Is there a real possibility 4 a person to totally overcome it and even like be handsome and awesome despite it or is it impossible to be totally normal with gyno even not a very big one hmm.. like wether a person can be bigger than his mitties if you know what I mean.

Offline TigerPaws

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Gentlemen "Depression" is by definition a "mental illness" not a physical issue. I have commanded men as young 18 into battle (they changed from boys to men very quickly). I have held dieing men in my arms and comforted them as the life faded from their broken bullet riddled bodies. I have seen men with body parts blown off who lived to forever be confined to a wheel chair or blindness and far worse than most of you could possibly imagine.

A few of these men could not cope with their new lot in life and they killed themselves, no one should condemn or applaud their decision.

Far more learned to accept their new reality and make the best of the hand which was dealt to them, some were able to overcome their disability and prospered.

I can say from personal experience Gynecomastia is NOT the end of the world, it will not kill you, at best having breasts is an inconvenience (I am a 38C and 5'9" 165lbs so I know of what I am speaking about).

Depression? Gentleman with all due respect "Pull Your Head out of Your Self Adsorbed ASS" and move on with your life.
   


 

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