Explaining the vest, post YOUR favorite explanation(s)!

[tunguska]

Howdy guys.  I have only had one consult thus far and still have yet to even settle on a surgeon.  However I've been reading enough to find a few concerned posts and I thought it would be fun to put these all in one thread.  Also, it's always constructive to spark some creative juices flowing and tease out some actual excuses people have used to explain to coworkers, superiors, teachers, students, friends, or family why on earth you are and have been wearing a vest for almost six weeks.

I'll borrow my personal favorite from a post I saw in the friends/family sub-forum: "I cracked a rib or ribs playing sports!"
Personally, I think this one has character.  You may have to improvise if your physique doesn't easily lend itself to sports... something like "Figures, just when I decide to get in shape and play a game of hoops I get elbowed in the ribs and cracked three of them!"  Hmm, that's got even more character than the first

Anyhow, you see where I'm going with this.  So gents, whether you're pre-op or post-op, a patient, relative, or doctor, let's hear some good explanations!

[Dave_8]

yeah i plan on saying i cracked 2 of my ribs on both sides of my rib cage playing football with my cousins when i get the surgery. i think it would work.

[cecly]

My doctor told me that it's to reduce swelling and scar tissue generation after having scar revision surgery .

[tunguska]

OK, I'll jump in again with a new variation: Scoliosis!  "My doctor said I have some very minor scoliosis and wearing this vest is the least invasive way to fix it!"

[hyperballad]

You want to look nice and slender in your little black dress.