do women really care?

[Balbanes]

for real, i had a harm time not cringing just from reading your post.

[Trycer6]

[

Sadly, this sounds like the truth to me. So far I have been mocked and shit on and ignored by girls (I'm 17) because of my gyno. Girls are shallow and cruel and aren't going to sleep with you if you don't match up to their physical expectations. As soon as I get the surgery and finally get with some girls, I'm going to treat them just like they've treated me. It's childish and spiteful, but it's going to make me feel a whole lot better.

Huh?  Your 17?  You need a bit more experience under your belt (pun?) before making that conclusion.  If that's an attitude you plan on hanging on to you have more problems than gynecomastia.... I would suggest a shrink before you see a surgeon. Maybe it's time you quit looking for "girls" and found a "woman". 

Shrink? I don't need a shrink. I don't know how anyone can take all of the abuse that comes with gynecomastia, particularly the abuse aimed at you by the opposite sex, and not be a little bitter (or a lot bitter). Your condescension aside, I know that you can understand how I feel. If your experience with "women" has been great, then good for you. Mine hasn't. The only girl that I've really tried to get intimate with me started to push away from me and ignore me when she found out I had moobs. Tell me how I should react to that.

[radic]

Sadly, this sounds like the truth to me. So far I have been mocked and shit on and ignored by girls (I'm 17) because of my gyno. Girls are shallow and cruel and aren't going to sleep with you if you don't match up to their physical expectations. As soon as I get the surgery and finally get with some girls, I'm going to treat them just like they've treated me. It's childish and spiteful, but it's going to make me feel a whole lot better.

As much as I can say "don't listen to this BS...", you are 17.  I was 17 with gyno, I remember feeling much the same.  I will say tho, all along the way I met gals to whom the gyno didn't matter a bit, or the more sexually adventurous (it was the 70's after all) of them really liked it.  At age 53 I have maintained a reasonable physique, with moderate gynecomastia.  Women find me attractive, and have no problem with what is on my chest.  It is mostly a battle of self perception. 

Choose surgery if you will, or choose to perceive yourself as attractive first to yourself... if that is how you perceive yourself, women will perceive that as well.  As you develop self confidence, other men who might mock you will see that confidence first, they have to get thru that wall before they can mock you. 

"Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There's still time to change
The road you're on "

[Trycer6]

I completely agree with you man - it's all about self-perception and self confidence. For whatever reason, I can't come to terms with my gynecomastia. I just can't. I look in the mirror and think "you look like a girl" and I look at girls and I think "no girl wants to get intimate with a guy with bigger breasts than her" and I just can't get past that no matter how hard I try. Maybe I grew up in a harsher culture then you or maybe I was just born with less confidence, I don't know. But I feel like every time a girl looks at me, she's judging me negatively. I think that surgery is the only option for me, because I'm just too far gone.

[johnny125]

I haven't had a problem with girls. But I'm a lot older than you and mature women don't really care about gyno. Just know that the problem is with the girl and not you. This advice might not sound like much comfort now, but realize that you haven't found the right girl for you yet. You will. They are out there.
Johnny

[Paa_Paw]

I was well into manhood long before the Birth Control Pills became commonly available but I'll spare you the moral lessons about keeping your pants on.

Instead, I will simply make the observation that the young men of this age get a whole lot more sex than was possible when I was young but we had it better because we got more love.  Just think about that for a while.

The Women in my life each had their own worries and concerns, Gynecomastia was my problem but not theirs.

If you are having really serious problems socializing; The source of the problem might be on your chest but it is more likely to be between your ears.

[Trycer6]

Man, I've heard that before. I do suspect that if I were confident and outgoing despite my gynecomastia I would be able to get girls, but I just cannot get past man boobs. I am incapable of it. It's important to understand that and not just say "it's about what's in your skull, not on your chest."

[jsboob]

i dont know what to say to you man, only to listen to paa paw & realise it really is YOU! if you meet the right girl ( if she the wrong one then you dont wanna be with her anyway!)
 Any decent girl (or guy) will not judge you on your body but your person!
if you met a girl you really fancied & later found out she had, say, a false leg, would you dump her right off?
If yes then you are the same as the girls you THINK will not go with you!
be yourself! we come in all shapes & sizes.
 Wouldnt it be so sad if we all looked the same?

[Stingercut]

I have medium to severe Gyne and had many lovers in my youth, although admittedly I worked out ALOT to mask them when I was chasing tail. Most of my steady GFs have had big boobs D-DD +. I am just attracted to large breasted women ( not due to MY Gyne just my preference) and I have never had any nasty comments about my Gyne from a GF. Its only guys on occasion who have made comments about them. So I think women are more sensitive about their bodies than men anyway and having a large chested women beside you sure makes you look better anyway.


Just my 2 cents

[burntoast]

I know this is an old topic, but I wanted to throw my two pennies at it. Also, please understand that I am making blanket statements and there are always exceptions to the rule.

#1, High school girls are ridiculous. As far as I'm concerned, most of them are a lost cause They barely exist in reality, and they have no idea how the world really works. They are too caught up in what everyone else thinks of them. If they're making fun of someone, it's only to feel better about themselves. This is true, even though you might not really understand it. I know I didn't at 17, but at 27 it makes perfect sense.

#2, Most Girls (and many women) are attracted to your status when they first meet you. Elevate your status, maybe yourself worth being around, and you will get chicks.. If you don't think you're worth it, why should they? Remember, they're insecure too... they want to be with someone who will make them feel better about themselves. And so do you (or, if not, why don't you date one of those "ugly" girls?). No one wants to subject themselves to ridicule by their peers.

There's a good chance you aren't going to get over this quickly, and high school girls aren't going to change how they act any time soon. Actually, due to the glorification of becoming "famous" and the "Britney Spears" effect, it's probably going to get worse in the future. Luckily you're almost done high school, and you will soon join the real world where people act much more rationally. Hang in there until then.

[Paa_Paw]

burntoast, You have made several very good points.

I think it is actually quite simple. Whether a woman is willing to admit it nor not, she is looking for a person of strength. Some make the mistake of following purely physical strength or aggression, the more wise look for strength of character.

We are not all that different, we are attracted to physical beauty. Ultimately, the happiest among us have found the personalities that attracted us and preferred that to the former.

If we remain focused upon ourselves, no clear thinking person will want us for a mate. If the girl (or woman) feels good in your presence, and you feel good in her presence, Things will naturally work out.  To win a gal focus on her rather than on yourself.

I observed many years ago that some of the ugliest guys were always surrounded by hot chicks. It was their attitude that was the chick magnet.

[Violating]

[

Sadly, this sounds like the truth to me. So far I have been mocked and shit on and ignored by girls (I'm 17) because of my gyno. Girls are shallow and cruel and aren't going to sleep with you if you don't match up to their physical expectations. As soon as I get the surgery and finally get with some girls, I'm going to treat them just like they've treated me. It's childish and spiteful, but it's going to make me feel a whole lot better.

Huh?  Your 17?  You need a bit more experience under your belt (pun?) before making that conclusion.  If that's an attitude you plan on hanging on to you have more problems than gynecomastia.... I would suggest a shrink before you see a surgeon. Maybe it's time you quit looking for "girls" and found a "woman".  

[/b]



preach bro!, I have G, and im 17, going to college in a few months. (im getting my surgery before then),
anyway, its true what a poster above me said, girls are attracted to you when they first meet you,
they see how confident you are , and then they decide to like you or not.
Im a confident guy, and im pretty well known around the school, im pretty funny, and im not afraid to be around girls,
thats what girls look for, a guy who can show them that hes confident in himself, because if youre not confident in yourself, then why should she have confidence in you and herself? and girls are really dire when it comes to their own bodies, EVEN IF THEY ARE HOT!
right now im with this girl who is pretty hot , and she has an amazing personality, and we were in her house one day,
and she wanted me to take my shirt off, and I hesitated one second, and she says " I dont care about that, I care about you"
(im a pretty fit/strong guy, its just that I have G . )

and well GIRLS DONT GIVE A SHIT IF THEY'RE HORNY

haha, and besides, if you're doing a good job, she wont have time to point out your chest in between moaning

[gynesux]

to be honest they dont give a crap about your chest, but I didnt know that when I was younger (16-19), I grew up with gyne since I remember and it affects your self-image so bad that you start thinking bad things or what other people think about you.

Now after surgery you will try to make up for the missing years , thats what I did.

after getting surgery just remember one thing if you want to keep having wild sex, DONT GET MARRIED ! its like killing somebody and getting caught by the fbi after serving 10 life sentences.

 

[gynespain]

I think it depends on the girl

I really dont give a darn about what can she think, I could explain it clearly just in case, and most of them would understand, of course it depends if she is mature enough, dont expect anything from a girl of less than 20 year old 90% of the times, and even older
sometimes surely they notice, but they are to horny to stop, its more about what u have in ur mind, for me after so many years (im 24 and i had it since i was 15-16)
it make me unconfortable, im getting the surgery because it affects me, I only received some comments/jokes like 2 or 3 times in my life, and they were kind of friendly, but im not confortable with a chest like that, i have it always on my mind, and I think I have the righ to not worry about that like the other guys that have no gynecomastia

one thing is that girls dont care so much as we do, and another thing is that they wouldnt prefer us with a normal chest like we do, of course IF YOU ARE PRETTY CONFIDENT WITH IT, IMAGINE HOW CONFIDENT YOU WOULD BE WITHOUT IT, after surgery you must be like a superman


anyway, I never tried to keep a girl, all of them were one night stand, and the amount should be more, quite more, than it actually is
of course with girls with common friends its like really really wierd, also the fact of talking about it is not nice, it is kind of hard when you tell your family, more when you are about to get intimate with a girl friend of your friends, the flow is not so natural, even if she understands it ans if she stills liking you

its always better not to have it

It reminds me when you go to the swiming pool/beach, you dont know anybody, you dont give a crap, but it makes you feel unconfortable with yourself, I feel bad only to see how bad it looks, only when T-shirts doesnt suit me like they should... and my gynecomastia is average, I would say a 6 in a scale 1-10

Dont try to trick your mind, you will never feel with gynecomastia the same like without it, thats clear, unless you are that kind of people who likes not normal stuff in their bodies

If you are thinking about the surgery, I would do it, Im gonna do it myself in 7 days, wish me luck
Anyway whatever your choices i respect them.

Greetings

[Alchemist]

How has having DD breasts affected my relationships with the ladies?  In junior high school in 7th grade I started getting invitations from some of the girls for "you can feel/see mine if I can see/feel yours".  It never would have happened if I had had to make the invitation.  I was scared to death of rejection over my breasts and excess weight and more.  At such events all sorts of teen-aged sex play occurred which never would have happened if I hadn't had the breasts.  All the girls involved were very accepting, nice and friendly. 

By college a group of el-ed majors started warning the girls I was hanging around with about me.  What was the dreaded secret they were so concerned about that they had to go around warning the other girls?  They were warned that I "use too many big words".  The girls I preferred considered that a recommendation, not a warning.  Not one girl in college ever said anything about my breasts except for asking if they could feel them, and this was after the clothing was off.  It was a total non-issue for them.  It was 100% my sensitivity about my breasts.  They were much more concerned about their own breasts, skin, hair, nose, ears, weight etc.

As I hang around mostly with nudists these days there are no exterior body mysteries.  Whatever the situation we all know what each other looks like and so there is no distressing and fears over reactions when the body is finally revealed.  I do still get the "you can feel mine ..." offers in private, but that is mostly honest curiosity and is always friendly. The only question is where to put their clothing when they come in the house. I have a long term stable relationship after a long marriage.  So I'm not exactly running around with a lot of different women.  However, at least several hundred different girls and women of all ages see me nude every year socially. As far as I can tell it matters not a bit to any off them.  Of course I have always preferred intelligent, gentle and friendly ladies.

Only 1 woman in my life has ever said anything and she was a complete stranger at a public clothing required pool and she clearly had body issues.  Other than that all others that have said or done unkind things because of my breasts were all male, all textile compulsive males.