Gyno Sufferer for 4-5 years, what do I do?! 4MothsPostOpPics - Opinions? Pg.9!

[wantridofgyno17]

I'm 17 years of age and I've had gyno now for probably 4-5.. I used to be well overweight (16.5 stone at 15) but lost most of it over the last few years, now weigh about 12 stone at 6'0", got a bit of fat but wouldn't be classed as 'overweight'. Always had a big problem with 'moobs', never realised it was gyno and thought losing weight was the answer.. however after losing many stone, I noticed I still had a terrible chest (sagging, pointy, puffy nipples etc!) Now I know entirely what it is (gynecomastia) and that it's unlikely it'll go away by itself due to the period of it being there, the only option to cure it is surgery..

As far as I'm concerned it's made a misery of my life in some senses, I never wear just a t-shirt out, I feel uncomfortable usually in most tops and will always wear a jacket/jumper where I can - never swim anymore and avoid the beach, never taking my top off if I do go. Basically it's done no favous to my social life and I know for a fact i'd be 1000% happier without it - so I wan't it gone.

I spoke to a doctor about it breifly once and he said there was nothing that could be done, which I now know is complete bull - I didn't realise at the time NHS surgery was even an option. I'm booked in to see another doctor on the 15th who I'm going to talk about it properly with and see what she says.. However even if they do offer me surgery on the NHS (which I'm not sure they even will beacuse of my age, even though it is having a big effect) i'm not sure I'd want, due to peoples bad experiences with it/massive waiting lists etc. But obviously the only other option is to go private, which is around £4000 in the UK and £2000+ abroad (which I myself don't have!)

I spoke to my dad about the problem the other day for the first time ever and I don't think he really understands how it affects my life, he think it's just a silly teenage insecurity and I tried to explain even older guys still feel totally ashamed about it and it won't go away etc - but he didn't understand still as far as I can see. I asked him if he could afford to the cost of surgery and he said no, I intended to pay him back should he front the cost but I'm not sure if he realised I meant it that way.

What do you think I should do? After I've been to the doctor and got a second opinion, if she also thinks that I would benefit from the surgery I'll try and explain to my dad again and see if he can front the cost of the surgery and I will pay him back next year when I work full time during my gap year after finishing 6th form. Ideall I'd love to have karidis do the operation because he's in the UK, and he's regarded as the best really so i'm most likely to be satisfied with the results with him, but £4000 is a hell of a lot of money! My dad said even if I were to have surgery, he thinks going abroad would be a very bad idea and in some respects I agree with him, the only benefit is it's quite a bit cheaper over there.

Because I'm so sick of this problem and that I know these are some of the most important years of your life, I don't want to have this problem any longer and want rid of it so I can actually enjoy my life properly and live it how I want to - not live it around this problem, making all efforts to hide it. I have a part time job but it would take me a long long time to save up, given that I already have my car insurance to pay each month and costs of running my car (which I was debating selling if that's what it means, that would be my last resort.)

I've just started my second year of 6th form, and already I'm thinking of dropping out and going into work full time to raise the £4000 and then be done with the problem, I know this would be a mad decision in some peoples eyes but that's how much it means to me.. I would do it with the intention of then going back next year and completeing my second year of 6th form - what are peoples thoughts on that ? I appreciate it would be quite extreme but the way I see it is even at 6th form, day to day, i'm so concious about my problem that I think I'd be much happier even there without the problem - I also think it would help me to focus on my studies much better too.

Obviously raising the money to go abroad and have it done would be easier (£2000 for example to go to poland) but whether ot not the outcome will be 'as good' as Karidis is debatable, and how safe the idea is another issue.

Does anyone have any suggestions/ideas, or possibly any advice on how to help my dad understand how much it means? I believe personally he could 'afford' to pay for thes surgery on the basis I'd pay him back next year, and atleast that way I could continue with my studies and keep my car and part time job all as it is, I havn't yet proposed to him the idea of leaving education to fund this.

Is it selfish of me to ask him to lend me that sort of money? It's just I feel i'd be so much happier without the problem in my life every single day, and I think for someone who hasn't had the problem, you can't understand exactly how it makes you feel and how it effects your life. All I want is this problem gone, I wish I could go in for the operation tomorrow if I could, would do anything to get the money for the operation but a bit lost at the moment.

Thanks

[creative]

Ok, a few options here...

You can sell the car. Now i believe if this problem truly matters to you as you say, then keeping the car seems a little odd to me. If you require it for commuting then i can understand this, but for most 17 year olds, i would say it is more of a luxury. I say this from personal experience when i was at 6th form. If you are thinking of going onto uni, then you may have to sell it anyway?

Secondly, you can try the NHS. I know, i know, there are a lot of horror stories and while i don't doubt them, i think the NHS are capable of giving you an 'ok' result (perhaps even better!). Given your situation, i would say that money is somewhat of a problem. So don't dismiss the NHS straight-away unless you are 100% sure you want to go private, which i would respect.

Karidis & Levick seem to be the top names floating about on these boards, but there are a few others who might be cheaper. On the whole though, i have yet to read a post where someone was disappointed with Karidis and very few seem to have problems with Levick too. However, much of the discrepencies may be due to people's expectations - what you or i may class as a good result may be rubbish to someone else.

Anyway, the other option is your dad as you mention. If you can somehow signal to him how much it means to you and are fully capable of paying him back like you say, then i don't see why he wouldn't support you through this. I wouldn't suggest any sort of guilt-tripping but the fact that you've considered dropping out of the second year of 6th form to get the op shows it means a lot to you.

Following on from the last point...you could indeed drop out. One year working to pay for surgery and then rejoining sixth form would make all the difference i believe. It'd add some sort of experience onto your CV (not always a bad thing) and it'd help focus you more - i only wish i did something like this and didn't have to wait until after uni! I appreciate these are very important years in building your self-confidence and enjoyment with friends etc. before heading out in life, but don't feel it is the end of the world. I know that is a very big statement! However, some people here have had gyno for many many years! Obviously removing it asap is the best thing but don't be too disheartened if it isn't possible due to circumstances at the time.

All the best

[wantridofgyno17]

To be 100% honest with you the car isn't NECESSARY to me that's right, I use it to get to work but I could probably scrounge lifts off my dad to work (which is what I used to before I could drive) - otherwise it's just for social purposes really.. However even if I sold it I wouldn't have enough to fund Karidis, would probably cover Polish surgery but would need atleast another £2000 for Karidis - so would still have a problem !

One of my big problems with the idea of NHS is it seems to be a massive wait? From reading other peoples experiences, it appears that to even get the surgery done you're likely to have to wait atleast a year in total if not more.. and then the end result, how good will it be? Personally I want this sorted asap, I don't have any desire to wait that long! I think whoever you go with in the UK it's likely to cost near the 4k mark, and imo if I were going to spend that amount of money on surgery I think it'd be a good idea to pay a bit more and have the best rather than pay a bit less and possibly not be as satisfied as I could be - only get one chance at it right?

I guess I'll have to wait until I speak to the doctor (week today) and get her proper opinion on it, if she thinks surgery (private or nhs) is a good/bad idea and then pass on what she says to my dad, I don't really want to take my dad with me as I want to explain exactly how I feel and there's some areas of it I wouldn't feel comfortable mentioning in front of my dad, do you think the doctor would be willing to write up a 'report' for me on her opinions on the situation which I could then pass on to my dad? I think if the doctor supported the idea, he might then be more willing to help me fund it to get it done if he believed it was really an issue worth sorting and not just me being dramatic as it were.

As for dropping out, I think i'd also see some benefit from it as A) I think I'd focus better without this problem, and would be able to study more effectively and actually get something worth while out of my time there B) it would give me a bit more time to mature and gain some extra life experience, which may help me realise how important my time there is, again, helping me to get the most out of it.

Thanks for your post creative, really helpful. I know it's not the end of the world having gyno, but I think it'd be the start of a new world without it, and I would give anything to be done with it right now and start living how I want to!

Thanks

[wantridofgyno17]

Althought Karidis doesn't offer free revisions, he is closer to me (London, birmingham is MUCH further to travel.) and it also seems Karidis is slightly better at the procedure than Levick, so the likelyhood of even needing any follow up is reduced. I will speak to my doctor and see what they say about the NHS route, but I have a strong suspicison they'll tell me to wait but who knows.

If the doctor agrees surgery would be a good idea, what's the best way of getting them to let my dad know about this themself to help him understand how important to me it is and then possibley reconsider funding it - should I get him to visit the doctor I speak to once I have, and get them to explain the circumstances to him - I think if it came from a doctor, he'd be much more understanding and accepting of the idea.

[kingboob]

Although Karidis doesn't offer free revisions, he is closer to me (London, birmingham is MUCH further to travel.) and it also seems Karidis is slightly better at the procedure than Levick, so the likelyhood of even needing any follow up is reduced. I will speak to my doctor and see what they say about the NHS route, but I have a strong suspicison they'll tell me to wait but who knows.

If the doctor agrees surgery would be a good idea, what's the best way of getting them to let my dad know about this themself to help him understand how important to me it is and then possibly reconsider funding it - should I get him to visit the doctor I speak to once I have, and get them to explain the circumstances to him - I think if it came from a doctor, he'd be much more understanding and accepting of the idea.

You could try showing your Dad the website or printing off some information on the subject...... At the end of the day people aren't mind readers....... Try and explain your feelings on the subject the best you can, otherwise he wont know how upset you are.

I mean to a large extent it depends on how bad the problem is, or rather how visible the problem is - I know a lot of guys on this website  believe there is no such thing as small or mild gyne.......  but if you have a very mild case of puffy nipples it is going to be a lot more difficult to sell the idea of expensive cosmetic surgery to your dad than if you have large pendulous breasts.

You could always ask him to come with you do the GP's appointment..... but that could backfire if the GP tells you it will 'just go away' in X number of years, but if the GP appears to take it seriously it could make your Dad realise there is a problem.

If you do decide to have private surgery then staying local is a good idea in my opinion - again a decent GP can be helpful here as they should at least know of which local surgeons to avoid and may be able to recommend other good options.

Stay away from the groups that advertise free consultations in the media IMO... such as harley medical group..... the consult is usually with a nurse and that is no good.

[wantridofgyno17]

What I think I’ll do is go to the doctors alone, speak to her about it properly, see what she thinks and then if she agrees surgery would be a good idea then I will try and get her to let my dad know this, I will then maybe print some information off of here (stories etc) and let him have a read of them just to try and give him a better understanding of how the condition effects me. I certainly have a worse than ‘mild condition’, not just a slight puffy nipple, moobs too. My dad said he’s “never noticed it”, and I know it’s noticeable to someone with a regular chest if for example I was outside in just a tee in the wind.. but I do my best to hide it.

If my dad was prepared to cover the cost of UK surgery, I would definitely aim to go with Karidis, decided that already.  It’s just a matter of arranging the funds to cover the cost of the surgery!  May be getting another part time job, going for an interview tomorrow, so hopefully if I can get that It’ll show my dad how serious I am about this more so!

Thanks

[thetodd]

Dont sell your car, you wont get a decent return on it

With the job market as it is, and your age. If you get a job your likley going to be on the minimum wage and at 17 i remember being on £3.60 an hour, its changed now but not by a huge amount. Its going to take ALOT of work to get to 4 grand on those wages

Dont drop out of 6th form (or delay it a year)! i did when i was 17 and ive just spent 2grand odd getting a CCNA, and cant get a job in it to save my life. I dont mean to piss on your bonfire or anything but seriously get a job on top of 6th form and just take the smooth with the rough. Or youl be my age in a job you hate overqualified and under appreciated .

If you can lend the money, then great. If you cant just take your time and save you will get there dont make any rash decisions regarding education. In this job market ... you really need it! Try the NHS you may get lucky

[wantridofgyno17]

Dont sell your car, you wont get a decent return on it

With the job market as it is, and your age. If you get a job your likley going to be on the minimum wage and at 17 i remember being on £3.60 an hour, its changed now but not by a huge amount. Its going to take ALOT of work to get to 4 grand on those wages

Dont drop out of 6th form (or delay it a year)! i did when i was 17 and ive just spent 2grand odd getting a CCNA, and cant get a job in it to save my life. I dont mean to piss on your bonfire or anything but seriously get a job on top of 6th form and just take the smooth with the rough. Or youl be my age in a job you hate overqualified and under appreciated .

If you can lend the money, then great. If you cant just take your time and save you will get there dont make any rash decisions regarding education. In this job market ... you really need it! Try the NHS you may get lucky

Already got 1 job, on £5.22 an hour, but I never have anything left after each month with that at the minute. Second job not sure exactly what it works out, moer than that I think though.

The thing is, I'm not really happy whatever I'm doing at the moment anyway, what's the point in having a decent job when I'm older if I'm still not happy and am not living my life how I want to be? And would like NHS to be very last resort even if they offer me it, because from what I've heard it seems to be a load of horror stories. Karidis is what I want really.

Want it sorted asap at the end of the day, if I regret it later in life that's a risk I'll have to take I guess - because right now I'm not happy, so what have I got to lose.

[thetodd]

youve got to put things into perspective, gyne is a horrible thing to suffer from dont get me wrong ... but its something that can be fixed. Dropping your college work to make a few hundred quid isnt wise. Getting the surgery may make you happy  temporarily but its short winded, when you really start entering the world of work you will see how much adult life really is a drain

If you want the money, cut down on shit. Dont wear designer clothes, eat at home. Dont drink a lot on nights out. Dont impluse purchase you will make money. I got surgery when i was 20 because i just wasnt in a position at 17 to get it done! yeah it bothered me but trust me on the scale of bad things that can happen to you in life .... gynecomastia wont kill you!

I wish you the best of luck mate, its hard to pull together 4 grand! but ull get it together eventually!

[creative]

If i were in your position, i wouldn't dismiss the NHS as quickly as you do. The worst that's going to happen before surgery is that you'll have to wait and go from left to right. But it's not so different to what you are doing at the moment - waiting to gather funds. While no-one doubts the skill of the private surgeons; at the same time it has to be said that you can get very competent surgeons on the NHS who more often than not are also private surgeons. Okay, maybe not as well known but that doesn't mean you should dismiss them straight away on this basis. Seeing as money is a real issue i feel you are being a little too harsh.

If for whatever reason you become fed-up with the NHS or doubt your surgeon's skill, then fine, it's no loss to you. All you will have done is a few blood tests here and there and perhaps a couple of consultations. All i'm saying is that you may be pleasantly surprised? It is a postcode lottery!

Other than that, your only option is to save...somehow? After reading comments by thetodd i think dropping out could be a little hasty given the current situation with jobs. However, for what its worth, i still think i would've chosen this route given another shot! lol.

[wantridofgyno17]

Yes it can be fixed, which is why I want it done. Whilst i've got it, I'm not happy, not really - because I'm living my life around it. I don't want to keep waiting and look back later in life and regret wasting more days of my life than need be. I don't have a great deal of extra money left after petrol/insurance, so there's little I can even save in that sense.

Just been to speak to someone about a second job, so just need to let him know if I want to do it and it's mine. May take that up, although it didn't pay as much as I thought it would (it's comissioned based entirely, so no guarantee on earnings which is good and bad.) Even with this it would take me far too long to save though! 

Next step is doctors on tuesday, guess I'll have to go from there.

[thetodd]

 Iknow you want it done, but its not easy turning around 4 grand. Dont rush things itl get fixed. I was living my life around gyne and i still had girlfriends and i still went on holidays. It did hold me back but i wasnt in a position to change it at the time!

Go and try the NHS, some get lucky .. and there are some great surgeons in the NHS. Post some pics up of your gyne .. it might not be as bad as you imagine

[wantridofgyno17]

Iknow you want it done, but its not easy turning around 4 grand. Dont rush things itl get fixed. I was living my life around gyne and i still had girlfriends and i still went on holidays. It did hold me back but i wasnt in a position to change it at the time!

Go and try the NHS, some get lucky .. and there are some great surgeons in the NHS. Post some pics up of your gyne .. it might not be as bad as you imagine

I know it's not "easy", but I'm sure it's easier than living with this stupid gyno.. and I still have girlfriends, or holidays.. no prizes for guessing why. It's bad enough for me need to hide, and more than noticable in the wind with no undershirt.. and shirtless, I won't even go there.

[thetodd]

its upto you, ive had the surgery im not trying to dissuade you!

dont make any rash decisions about your education that youl regret

[wantridofgyno17]

Well went to the doctor earlier, was only in there 5-10 minutes which was quicker than I thought.. But she is MUCH better than the last guy I saw. Explained to her I used to be very overweight but had lost it, and that I didnt go swimming etc because of the gyno, showed her it and she had a feel and said she understood why I was concerned. She said shes going to send me letter in a few days with the  details of some surgeons - she  said one who she personally felt was a very good surgeon she'd send, but he was a general surgeon and I mentioned I'd be advised to go for a plastic surgeon opposed to a regular surgeon, she said they also have very good plastic surgeons which she'd send me the details of , she also said she was going to 'look into it more'. So hopefully that's the ball rolling, will look out for the post and go from there I suppose!

Fingers crossed. Thanks