Hey Ste
Of course, no problem! I sometimes wonder whether I'm the only one that reads 'My diary'! and its good to see that its doing what it was designed to do!
My first post back in January 2004... the last sentance reads....
"Thanks everyone who has done this sort of thing before me... its helped a lot and I want to 'pay it forward'!"
So in that sense... seems I have succeeded!
I thought about your christmas and new year thing... To be honest, its amazing how quickly the whole having a new chest thing becomes a non issue. Like, I don't think, Great my first new year without a breast! Its just who I am now. Although some things do make you really appreciate it, but you have to think back to how you felt before. Like walking around in my shared house with just a towel wrapped around my waist... non issue. Getting your top off on the beach... non issue. Wearing whatever top you want... non issue. Although always in the background, it is an issue, because it's a non issue if you see what I mean?! It's very liberating. Last few times I have walked around without a top on in front of girls that are friends... but don't see me topless all that often, they are like... Ian... grrrr!! Looking good! Thats a great feeling, knowing what I have come through. I don't think you can truely appreciate that unless you have been in the situation where you were ashamed of your body and hid it away for a few years. For whatever reason. It makes you do strange things too... Like now, some of my T- shirts are just a little bit too tight for my liking... in a fashion sense... but you know what.. I wear them.. because now I can! And at the pool... I stand up in the water at the shallow end... because I can! I push my chest out and walk super tall and super confident across a room with lots of people in it, because I can! It's great! It's hard to explain, but you will see! It's a rollercoaster of emotions though... You hit some lows... where you think its all been messed up and then some highs when you realise its all gonna be great! I would say about 2 months after the op... Thats when I was on my biggest high, cause its so fresh in your mind what it was like before! If Mr Levick had walked past then... I would of given him a snog, probably with tongues! And I'm straight! But after a while... you just get used to it!
Why not start your own diary... its good to read though it... and you can see your own progress plus it helps out others... as you know!
Good luck! I'm sure all will be fine!
Ian