Mark's Gyne Diary

[mthatch1]

Hello everyone,

I am going to use this space to write about what I am going through regarding the gynecomastia.  My name is Mark and I live in Texas. 

One of my first memories of noticing my gynecomastia came at about the age of 10 when I noticed my shadow looked odd.  I would stand and look over my shoulder to see what my shadow looked like from the side and I could tell that my chest was not flat like the other boys.  This was the beginning of a very long painful struggle.

As many of you have experienced, this disproportion of fat on the chest meant I could not swim in public, feel confident with love interests, feel comfortable in clothing and also just look in the mirror. 

I have been skinny and I have been fat.  The chest will get bigger and smaller but it is never flat. 

After 17 years of living trying to hide my body clothed and unclothed, I am going to have surgery.  My procedure is scheduled for Oct 21 2008 with Dr. Jacobs.  It will cost 6950 which I am going to finance through a loan. 

Even though this will be make a huge difference in my life, I want to acknowledge that it will not solve all of my problems and will not even give me the shape that I truly desire.  Unless I start to eat more healthfully and exercise regularly I will not have the mid-section that I want as well.  The DR offered to perform lipo on my abs and love handles for another 6K but I really can't afford to finance that and I really have not given diet and exercise enough of a commitment to say that "nothing works" on that part of my body (like the gyne). 

I live with my partner.  We have been together for about a year and a half.  I hide my body from him even after being together for such a long time.  This is not to say that he has not seen me completely without clothes in the light but I make every effort to make sure he doesn't see my chest more than he needs to.  I won't dwell on this aspect of my personal life but it is for sure one of the most difficult parts of gyne that we all deal with. 

I am 5'9, 150 lbs, 30'' waist and about a 35-36'' chest.  I will post some pictures soon. 

I would like to use this diary as a way for me to talk about my feelings leading up to the surgery and then of course after it as well.  Please feel free to let me know any of your thoughts. 

Thank you,

Mark

[helloHELLO]

good luck.
ur in good hands. i had surgery with jacobs too (i also have a diary post). when i saw him 6 weeks after my surgery i felt my chest was great and he informed me that i still have swelling and that my chest will look EVEN better. and i had a severe case

[Noseguard]

Good Luck.

I too just used Jacobs, I think you made a good choice.

Can't wait to see your pics.  At the weight and height you mentioned I am curious to see how you have any fat??

[mthatch1]

I know I seem height/weight proportionate but I definitely have fat on my gut.  I consider myself to be "skinny fat."  I am going to lose it though.  I really want to be able to spend time with friends at the beach next summer or take a vacation this winter somewhere warm with friends.  I can't believe I am 27 and have never done that before.  Well, it is not that I have not been to the beach with friends but maybe next time, I will actually swim with them and not pretend to be sick or averse to sunlight!

I have a cold right now so I am going to stay home from the gym for a couple of days and rest. 

Another member suggested I try the mens health abs diet.  That sounded like a good idea since at one point last year, I subscribed to their website and followed one of the exercise and diet plans for about 6 weeks with some really good results. 

I have ordered the book and am going to try and be faithful to the program.  I am 27 days from my surgery and I think it would be great to have this done and not only feel great about my chest but about my abs too. 

Since I am not going to exercise today, I will focus on nutrition.  I have a real sweet tooth so I am going to limit myself to ONE sweet item -- either a small bowl of icecream or a candy bar.  Yesterday I think I ate 3 or 4 servings or pure empty calories so this will be an improvement!

I ordered a compression garment that should arrive any time today.  I have not worn one before but I am really curious to see if it might make me feel better this month wearing some of my clothing.  I hope it is not too uncomfortable.  If I look good in it though, I probably won't care! 

So far, I have told 4 of my friends about the surgery and they have all been supportive.  It was tough to tell them but I am so glad that I can finally tell people close to me about whats really on my mind (ALL THE TIME!)

Here is a question for anyone who has had the surgery... after the healing process, do you eventually stop thinking about your chest or does it remain on your mind but in a less negative way?   

[mthatch1]

I wore a compression vest for the first time yesterday.  It was very tight and definitely smoothed out the awkward shape of my chest.  I am going to wear it out in public today and see what it feels like. 

I have a cold right now so in general I am down.  I will feel better once I get a chance to rest. 

[mthatch1]

Today I received my packet of info from the DR.  There is a lot to do before surgery!  I have to get prescriptions filled, get blood and urine tests done and also follow a semi-strict diet 2 weeks before the surgery.  Lots of things to avoid and it says I should have a lot of protein 2 weeks before my surgery so that I heal easier. 

I have been wearing a compression vest I ordered online.  I like how I look with it when I wear a tshirt.  It is really hard and a little painful to put on though and take off.  Has anyone else had this experience? 

I had this crazy thought last night too.  It actually looked when I took the compression garment off (remember I have NOT had surgery yet) like my body was slimmer.  I guess having it all squeezed for the whole makes an impression.  I don't know that it does anything permanent but it definitely changed my shape a little. 

One of the things that I am looking forward to is only having one thing -- not 2 -- to worry about when I go to the gym.  At the gym, I am always struggling whether I need to work on my chest or my abs.  This can be overwhelming for me.  As long as my chest is flat, I won't care if it is muscular or not and I know I will be able to slim my abs down.  I have done that before!   

 My partner is not the most supportive person in regards to what I am having done.  I think it creeps him out. Its tough right now.  He is stressed in general but he is not making it any easier for me.  He has even been making fun of my compression garment.  who cares, right? 

[ABCDEFG]

I had my op 3 days ago now..
There aint that much you have to do all i had to do was give a blood test and not eat or drink for a few hours before surgery.
And for the next few weeks i have to wear a compression vest that is it.

[mthatch1]

How do you feel post-op? 

[mthatch1]

I would like to hear from people about their experience working after surgery.  I am a bartender and am wondering when I should start working again.  I know I shouldn't lift heavy things for about a month but what about just being physically busy in general as a bartender is during the weekend...

Does anyone who is post op have any insight? 

I am exactly 3 weeks from my surgery date.  I am getting excited.  I keep looking at my body and thinking that it is finally going to look masculine.  I stop looking to abnormally top heavy.  I will no longer have that strange pinch of fat that just doesn't look right. 

I am recovering from a cold and I am going to resume exercise tomorrow.  I still need to get my blood tests done and fill my prescriptions but my loan is taken covered and I have filled out all the paperwork for the DR. 

Did anyone not agree to have their pictures on the internet or in any material that the DR uses to show future prospective patients? 


Thanks for reading guys - I would love to hear from some more people!

[helloHELLO]

i would say wait till u dont have to wear "his" binder anymore. because it tends to slip down at times and ur gonna feel somewhat restricted.
about 3 weeks after my surgery i was at a club (with my binder on) for about 3 hours, dj'ing a set for about a hour.  through out the 3 hours there i had to go to the bathroom abou 3 times to fix my binder.  and on the way home the strap came off so i had to have one of my friends help me reattach it. they knew about me having to wear a binder but they thought it was because i tore my chest muscle, not that it was gyne related.

and also i didnt agree to have the pictures on the internet and stuff

[fed-up]

Good Luck mate! You'll be fine!...

[mthatch1]

What we go through for beauty

Sometimes it is interesting to step back and just take an objectionable (is this really possible?) at what we are talking about and what we are going through each day. 

We are dealing with shape.  We don't like our shapes because we feel that others' perceive it as unattractive or unnatural. 

I went to a bar tonight and I went feeling 60% percent that I looked good and 40% thinking "does everyone think I look weird?" 


I felt this way in particular because I was wearing my compression vest.  I have a pretty thin lower body so once I put my vest on, I try to squeeze into the tightest jeans possible and I go for a "rail" look.  Of course, the vest only compresses my upper body and my 'less than worked out abs" so much so I tend to still look rather top heavy, which I think some people mistake for being muscular.  But this is where my 60/40 confusion comes in.  Do people think I look muscular or do they think I look ill proportioned. 

What doesn't help either is that I think that no two mirrors are truly alike.  I look a little  different in each mirror. I tend to like the way I look in the mirror I have at home but then when I look at my reflection in a window, I feel like I am in a funhouse, which is difficult to separate from realty. 

What if we could freeze time and take a poll of everyone in the room (mostly whom we don't know) and find exactly what they were thinking about us that evening or if they even were thinking about us that evening?  Interesting or devastating...  I don't know. 

Dr Jacobs helped me understand what my chest will feel like by having me pinch above my chest.  He had me pinch somewhere that was relatively tight and he said, this is what I am going to match. Then I grab a handful of my breast and I can't even imagine what it will look like or feel like to not have it there. 

How many people have had the surgery and still been discontent with the way that they look even if the surgery was considered a success?

This is one of my fears. 

I worked out for the first time in a month tonight. I found a workout partner who was pretty cool.  He posted a message online and we hit it off at the gym.  I should be able to get in about  6 solid workouts with him before my surgery in 3 weeks and I will try to do cardio on my own. 

We should be gentler with ourselves.

I want the surgery and I think everyone who has this issue should have the privilege of getting it but isn't sweet to let go of the shame once and a while regardless of the way you look?  Sometimes this is only possible late at night when you are alone.  It feels great though to just sit or stand (not lying flat on your back) and just let it all hang out - stop sucking in and pretend that your shape is the most desirable shape or even better --- there is no such thing as desire!   

[mthatch1]

I am 2 weeks and 3 days from my surgery date. 

I started going to the gym again last week, which was a great feeling.  I also had my pre-op blood test done and I finished all the paperwork. 

I also ordered all the supplements that the DR suggested taking 1 week before surgery and after surgery.  These supplements are supposed to increase the rate of healing and reduce swelling and bruising.  These supplements include Bromelain, Vit C, Zinc, Arnica Montana and Arnica gel.  He also suggested a high protein diet so I ordered some protein powder since I am not a big meat eater in general. 

I am hooked on my compression vest.  Even though it makes me a little insecure to wear it when I am out socially, it makes my shape so much flatter.  It actually makes me feel more like me.  I relate much much more to the slimmer compressed version of me than the one with a big chest. 

[mthatch1]

Two weeks from today, I will be fasting and prepping for my surgery.  I really need to step up the diet and exercise.  I am eating way too much junk right now -- icecream and cheese.  I exercised one time last week.  I can do better. 

If anyone has some suggestions.  I will take them.  I bought the Abs diet book but havent opened it yet.  Gee..some of you seem so committed to diet and exercise.  I want that focus! 

[George Pope, M.D.]

What we go through for beauty

 

How many people have had the surgery and still been discontent with the way that they look even if the surgery was considered a success?

This is one of my fears. 

 We should be gentler with ourselves.[/b]

 

A little advice to  you:  Print out this quote from your post and tape it up somewhere so you can read it often after surgery.  Many people who go through gyne surgery fail to accept their surgery as successful.  Or to put it maybe a better way, many gyne patients, who have suffered for years with their problem, never quite feel like they look as good post op as they really do.  Gyne can do a number on your psyche, and you need to do your best to accept and be happy with your successful result.  I see patients who are several months postop and look great, but they admit that they still haven't been shirtless in public. 

Good luck with your surgery.  Follow your surgeon's instructions, and enjoy your result!

Dr. Pope, M.D.