this was my first post in another thread, I plan to update this to help myself grow as a person and to maybe help someone else avoid my pitfalls...
Well here I sit finally coming to terms with my condition. I'm 35 years old and have lived with moobs since I was 10. I still remember the day in 5th grade when I realized that I had them, it was life changing that day. Growing up, I had the same issues as most of the other posters on here. Changing for PE was a daily nightmare, but I bet I could contend for a gold medal if there was a speed t-shirt changing event. Dances? I went to 2 between 6th grade and 12th. I remember both of those 2 being extremely awkward. Sadie Hopkins dances were of course reserved for those that didn't have moobs and Prom just so happend to fall on the weekend that I was going to be on vacation out of town with my family, of course my family had no idea that were. I've held it in for so long that it wasn't until a recent dramatic event in my life forced me to finally face the "G", but that is getting ahead of myself. Growing up near the beach meant that all my friends either their birthday parties at the beach or at the pool. Both were horrible options, however at least at the beach I could avoid having to swim. College wasn't much better, I still couldn't communicate with girls because I always assumed that they were staring at my chest. Then one day the clouds parted and a ray of sunshine finally decended upon me when a beautiful girl some how failed to notice my chest. For a few years I was able to sort of get over my issue, so in love that I was focused elsewhere in my life. Forced to concentrate on work for the first time in my life and the busyness of it all sort of let my mind wander free. However I soon realized that I couldn't afford a family (had a son at this point) and needed to get a real job. I joined the military and suddenly it was high school all over again. Group showers, titty twisters and the jokes rekindled all those painful memories. I was now in the best shape of my life and my moobs looked even bigger because my small gut was gone. After boot camp I quickly found those lost pounds and hoped that the focus of others would be on my stomach and not my chest. It's been 12 years since then and my problems only have gotten worse. I hate going out in public because my shirts cling to my chest, I feel like an embarrasment to not only my wife but to both of my sons. I've had great times on vacations but the great times are remembered along with the anxiety of my chest in public. It got to the point where I didn't feel like my wife should be married to someone like me. I never initiated sex with her, not over our 15 years of marriage because I never felt that I was good enough for her. This condition ruined my marriage, it ruined 25 years of my life. Last week I started researching the condition and realized that I was not alone and that surgery was going to be the answer. To my suprise and complete ignorance the military is gladly paying for the whole thing! I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel, however it came with significant costs. I feel like I have so much more to say but I'll hold off until after I have my consultation tomorrow with the Doctor. I can only hope that the other boys/men out there suffering with this condition find help before it ruins their lives. I was lucky to have found a girl that saw me for me and not what I looked like even if I couldn't see the same person. Honestly she probably saved my life as I'm not sure how many more years I could have lived like that. I was dying on the inside and her and now my sons definitely changed my life for the better. Rock bottom is rough but I feel myself moving back up and I'm ready to join the real world...
Topic: My diary (Read 6187 times)
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