Author Topic: My story from age 11  (Read 6086 times)


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I’m 34 years old. At age 11 I remember taking my top off during a heatwave, my friends pointed and laughed asking why did I have breasts. I blushed and stayed quiet, I had no answer.  Throughout my teens I became introverted, I had few friends through fear of being laughed at. Occasionally I would become close to a girl but after a few weeks I would keep my distance because of a fear of being topless during sex. My twenties consisted of working a dead end job and hiding away in the bedroom of my mums house watching films as an escape from reality. At age 28 I finally started to develop a social life. I started going to the pub on a Friday and Saturday night, I was binge drinking every weekend but at least I was socialising with people of the opposite sex and making friends. I decided to start going to the gym, after 4 months I’d gone from 120kg to 95kg but I still had breasts. I looked into surgery, the best option I wrongly thought was Vaser lipo. I spent two grand and although my breasts were smaller, they still bothered me. I fell back into the grips of depression, I binge drank whiskey every day for a couple of years. Anyway here I am at 34 having found this website. I still live with my mum(I’ve never moved out, I still drink too much(beer not whiskey once a week), I have no real friends( not really surprising as I have no hobbies outside of going to pubs and clubs). Anyway I want to change my life for the better. I feel like maybe it’s too late for me to be happy. I see other people my age and they all have their own families and good careers. I’ve wasted my life

Offline SideSet

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I am sorry to hear you have struggled.  Having breasts as a boy is not easy.  Hang in there.

Offline Paa_Paw

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Many of us here have similar stories to tell.  In my case, I got a diagnosis at the age of 12 when the doctor told my mother it would go away in  in a couple of years.  that was in 1949 and I am still waiting.   No, I'm telling the truth but a little tongue in cheek.  The point is that I never really suffered with any degree of depression.  How did I get so lucky? I do not really know.   But the depression you have and poor sense of self worth could be separate issues or they could be at least partially brought on by the Gynecomastia or compounded by it.    There is much you did not say.  Height and weight might be helpful or BMI if you know it.   I don't put too much stock in pictures unless they are up to medical standards.   A person can pose to maximize or minimize the condition. (Usually the former.)
Perhaps there is some comfort just in knowing that you are not alone.  I think a Good counselor might be able to help you with the depression and self image issues, they also might be of value as an impartial observer to guide in in the selection of a surgeon if that is your choice.   Your work usage suggests that you are in England,  I am on the west coast of The US in California.  Too far removed to make any specific recommendations about Doctors who might be of help to you.  But there may be others near you that can make specific referrals. 
Meanwhile, welcome to the club no one really wanted to join.  I hope you are helped by your contact with others having the same condition and the same concerns. 
You are among friends here,  Welcome. 
Grandpa Dan

Offline blad

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My personal acceptance occurred when I first tried a bra on. I know this is not the answer for everyone but it definitely was for me.
If the bra fits, wear it.

Offline Goodnplenty

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I think Paa_Paw could be right about you having two separate issues that may be getting conflated.  The reason I'm posting though is about the problems with women comments that you made.  There are a lot of threads here where the men expect that women will find them unattractive and unappealing only to find the exact opposite is true.  It's very counterintuitive but there are a lot of women out there that like boobs and also like men and if they can get both at the same time they will.  Remember, women are not men, they don't think the same way we do they are much fluid than you think.

Offline SideSet

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 I also feel much more comfortable and confident in a bra. 

Offline concernedjacob

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i had a similar experience, it started with random girls at school pointing out that i have breasts, then college girls, then women at beaches, at work etc.

it just made me not want to live life at all

I did get the occassional male bully but it was mostly women jeering and making fun of me

never got surgery for it, my parents had no idea how devastating and soul crushing it was socially to be a boy with breasts

i did nothing to deserve it, i am kind to others, i work hard, i am empathic, i take good care of my pets, life can be horrible sometimes
just an older gyno sufferer


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