Accepting "It is what it is"

[Gino]

I'm still a bit uncomfortable with this whole issue and I'm happy I found this forum. In advance I'll apologize for the long post.

In my mid 60's I developed a growing lump in my right breast and my doctor ordered a mammogram. As I waited the few days between my initial chat with my doctor, the mammogram, subsequent biopsy and final call from my doc I researched (I know doctors hate patients doing this) all of the options available to me should the mammogram results turn out bad. I was relieved that the painful biopsy did not reveal any cancerous tissue and in the coming days the lump "deflated" and my doc and I assumed it was a cyst, I was happy it was of no concern.

Fast forward a few years and I developed a hard lump growing under the left nipple and areola, and my doctor ordered another mammogram. I expected another cyst but just after the mammogram, the radiologist came out to explain the issue and summarize some of my options... surgery, hormone replacement and to do nothing. I told her I already had a lot of time to think about it and in the event only one breast grew I'd opt for surgery.

Well, in the next four to five months the left side slowly continued to grow and the right side budded. Whew, this cemented my no surgery option as after the painful biopsy I
was 100% certain that the removal option was now off the table... call me a wuss but I'm not into elective pain and from what I read the most growth experienced in men was
minimal so I figured I'd wait and see.  :-)

For as long as possible I waited to see if the growth would stop (it did not) and I had to tell my GF of my problem because the breasts were getting obvious and on more than one occasion I winced in pain from a tight hug eliciting a query from her about why I gave out the little yelp. She was very understanding and we briefly discussed getting a mastectomy and in no uncertain terms she rejected this tack saying my breasts are "beautiful" and she actually loves them. We also chatted about the pain, and the extreme extreme itching and sensitivity I was experiencing. It was her suggestion that we look into chest binders, sports bras, and tight undershirts to conceal the growth and insulate my nipples from the rubbing discomfort, all of which I had great successes with.

Today, I've come to accept and actually embrace the situation and am now a solid 36B+ (from dead flat) and I'm almost needing a C cup. I know this as my GF has let me try on her C cup bras. There are few things I personally dislike more than the appearance of hairy boobs, so I shave and IPL them regularly. I have a number of sportsbras which conceal my breasts when I need to go out with with friends and associates, and even though I don't "need" them, I've purchased a number bras online and at thrift stores which I occasionally wear out.

Out of necessity over the years I became quite adept at unhooking GF's rear hook bras so that was no issue  but learning to fasten them behind me was a bit of a chore and now that I can, I find I very much prefer front hook bras. The rear strap of a front hook bra is smooth and seamless, the shoulder strap adjusters present themselves more forward making them less visible and as a bonus they are quite a bit easier to fasten and take off than the rear hook type . My main problem with selecting bras is finding types without padding. I don't want to present as a larger cup than I am. 

[SideSet]

Thank you for sharing, Gino. The first time is always the hardest. I hope you share more, as I find it helpful when I do. I think you will find this to be an accepting, open, supportive group.

Your GF sounds wonderful. 

Wishing you good health as well
 

[bikerbob]

You don't have to learn to hook your bra in the back.  Most of mine are pullovers, but I have several with hooks.  I hook them in the front and turn it around and stick my arms in.  I have had two wives and several serious girlfriends in my life and I honestly can't recall a single one who hooked her bra in the back.  Most of us old farts couldn't reach that far in the back if we had to.

[blad]

Once the bra gets three rows of fasteners, I do the hook and spin like my mother did.

Otherwise it is a right of passage to hook in the back.

[gotgyne]

Once the bra gets three rows of fasteners, I do the hook and spin like my mother did.

Otherwise it is a right of passage to hook in the back.

I think, it's more a problem, how long someone's arms are and how athletic the person is. Nobody of my girlfriends could hook their bras in the back. I can't do it as well.

[aboywithgirls]

It really is "whatever works". I started wearing a bra relatively young. My mother and sister both had always hooked behind their back so, I guess that's why I always had. 

It had never even occurred to me that I could hook in front and spin until I had stayed over at my girlfriends place and we were getting dressed the next morning. She was putting on her bra and I had never seen the hook and spin method. I was putting on my bra and hooking it behind my back and she said " I could never do that ".

[Evolver]

I always have a go at hooking at the back first. Sometimes I fail, but not often. I actually find it easier to fasten a 3-row bra than a 2-row. The hooks are normally further apart and easier to feel and grab. I start with the bottom hook and work my way up. By the time you get the middle hook fastened, the band is sturdy enough to stand up by itself and the top hook falls easily into a ready position.

My wife NEVER fails to hook at the back when she puts a bra on. Far more experienced than me, I guess.

[Busted (and happy)]

It is well worth learning to hook up at the back - unless arthritis /frozen shoulder makes it impossible.
Far less yanking and over stretching of the band = longer bra life

[Rich meier]

I have that problem arthrits and shoulder problems but i from=n hook and spin

[oldguy]

After shoulder surgery, I now only hook and spin.  My wife hooks in back.  She bend forward so her breasts fall naturally into her bra.  I have to scoop and swoop to get mine comfortable.  So it takes a little longer for me.  Results are similar.

[Rich meier]

I had shoulder surgry several years ago need it on the other side. my late wife was a hook and spin thats where i learned. this wife is hook from the rear although her shoulders bother her too so some times she spins. i started out with pullovers but to much hassle especially after taking a shower, so I stick with the hooks

[Gino]

Well here I am coming up on 5 months since my first post and while I have no issues with rear hook bras, the scarcer than hen's teeth front hook is still my much preferred style if for no other reason there are no bulky hook fasteners  to show under a shirt. 

Funny, I've even acquired brand preferences in bras :-) Talk about acceptance. :-)

[42CSurprise!]

We develop a brand preference simply because not all brassieres are created equal.  When we find a manufacturer and even a particular style that works for us, of course we'll want to go there when we decide to expand our collection.  As Sophie observes, the brassiere needs to fit the occasion.  Sometimes a sexy brassiere is called for... sometimes all we want is the comfort of feeling our breasts softly held in well designed cups.

Thanks for sharing your journey Gino.  Finding acceptance is key... from there it is simply life... the adventure we're all on.

[Normal boobs]

We develop a brand preference simply because not all brassieres are created equal.  

Even more important 42C - Not all people are created equal. Sizing is to some extent solved with a tape measure but shape  needs a 3d printer!  Shape of the rib cage and upper torso is often why bra size charts are so abysmal for males. With around 80% of women wearing the wrong bra size it doesn't seem to work for them either. 
In my experience there is no substitute for a formal  fitting. Skilled sales assistants often do better by eye than any measurement. 

[Brdy64]

We develop a brand preference simply because not all brassieres are created equal.  When we find a manufacturer and even a particular style that works for us, of course we'll want to go there when we decide to expand our collection.  As Sophie observes, the brassiere needs to fit the occasion.  Sometimes a sexy brassiere is called for... sometimes all we want is the comfort of feeling our breasts softly held in well designed cups.

Thanks for sharing your journey Gino.  Finding acceptance is key... from there it is simply life... the adventure we're all on.

Yeah, I just ordered my first "pushup bra". 
I have been using a plain old front clasp and I just decided to treat the girls to something special. 
I can't wait for it to arrive, and then figure out where I'm going to wear it. 🤔