Success with women

[DavidVenice]

I offer this up, after all my questions, to give some guys hope and/or possibly see if this experience is shared. The observation: My shame comes 99 percent from relations with other males. Almost never in my 48 years has it come from something a woman has said, didn't say, looked at, touched inappropriately. The gender thing is funny because many of us, I sense, would feel less shame and embarrassment if we were visibly scarred in some other way that didn't connect so to gender. It's a form of sexism, I guess. Be facially disfigured, a cripple -- guys will feel sympathy, although I hear being bald or short can cause similiar, although I suspect a little less, shame and remarks. Gyne, howeveer: you get snickers. It's a guy, gender-insecurity thing. I mean women care about lots of things, shallow and not shallow, but gyne really isn't one of them. I had an extremely active single life before and after a marriage and have remarried. Was always veery lucky. I sometimes think that guys who knew and remarked, either subtly or not so, were kind of frustrated and surprised that I still usually got the girl.

[buccsfan]

Hey man I think that is a great story. I must say that I think women dont really care about gyne either. I say that because I always had girls. I always lost them because of my insecurity.

[wishIwassexy]

David I feel almost completely opposite to you.  Most women I have known from middle school on up to the work place have most often been insincere when it comes to sympathy and compassion.  A lot of women pretend to be nice and then they will verbally back stab and spread malicious gossip.  Also many women have been verbally abusive to me in the workplace and in school. And believe right now I just don't want to be near any women at all for fear that it will happen again because most women just don't like me.  I get more acceptance from guys.  I guess some guys teased me and picked on me in school but they were not near as mercyless, constant, and complex as the awful mind games that a lot of women play so very well.  Can anybody else relate

[wishIwassexy]

Women do care.  They just won't talk about or make a fuss infront of you.  They will behind your back though.  

Hey man I think that is a great story. I must say that I think women dont really care about gyne either. I say that because I always had girls. I always lost them because of my insecurity.

[DavidVenice]

That is the complete opposite experience I have had. What women might say behind their back is another matter, however. BUt your expereince is really quite the opposite of mine. COuld it be, and I say this not meaning to hurt or out of arrogance, but there are other factors hat spark the women to be critical and when they decide to be critical of you the gyne is just one of several targets they shoot at? No excuse, but just a thought.

[headheldhigh01]

i think the behaviors out of both genders are perfectly possible -- particularly in middle school when half the people are only a few points off of axe murderers anyway.  

[jupiter]

I'm with wishIwassexy.  But the trick for women is to outwit them.  If she makes fun of your gyne, ask her if she wants one of your bras and then tell her shes to flat, or she has to much chest hair.  Just bring her down worse than you.  When guys make fun of you just roll with the punches they arent going to think about it later like girls.  If they anything about your gyne, inform them that their mother did not mind playing with them the night before.  This has worked well to save what little self esteem I have left, but I'm still 21 and have only kissed a girl once so...it's your call. :-/

[WaitingPatiently]

I personally have tried both approaches with women. With some that I feel incredibly comfortable with, I tell them that I have a big insecurity and they seem to respond with care, love and indifference. Those that I try to hide it from by keeping my shirt on seem to get suspicious and start asking questions.  I think it just depends on the girl. Girls love honesty and if they don't like what they hear, good riddance.

[glinja]

My Mrs, has told her friends about my forthcoming op, and they have had nothing but sympathy for me, with comments like, wow it must really bother him, and i feel sorry for him, hope it all goes well.
They on the whole seem more sympathetic than my partner (who is as well).
male friends, though are convinced im going in for the snip, even though ive told them its a "gland removal" in the chest.
Just goes to show really....
oh and also, i never realised how common it is, comments have been, my friends husband has that, and so on.
Hope this helps
Glinja  

[22yearoldvirgin]

Hey man that's great I'm very happy for you. This is my first time posting and only like my fith time on this site. I have to say that I am soooooo happy to find this site. I feel like I'm not alone anymore. It's like you guys understand all shit I've gone through in my life: the teasing, being afraid to take my shirt off in public, and of course the failure with women. In case you haven't noticed I'm a 22 year old virgin and very very unhappy about it. So I've had zero success with women. However, I don't know if that's because I am to blame. You see I don't even try because I'm so so ashamed of my body. I know I have serious body image problems. I must say I do think women care but at least in front of us guys they will be nice (or most of them). I do wonder how much it does bother them that we have man boobs though. That's the only thing keeping me from trying to have sex. These damn things have plagued me since junior high. Junior was the worst. I remember the first time I noticed I had man boobs is when a girl that I thought was hot walked up to me and said men aren't suppose to have breast. From that moment on my life has been about me being hesitant and afraid of my man boobs. But this site is so great you guys understand that and don't look down on me that is freakin great I'm really happy I found this site

[headheldhigh01]

us too    

[whatalife]

Slightly off topic but, in high school gym class one day we were playing soccer.

A girl ran by and said "nice breasts" to me. I replied "Jealous?"

being she was a small girl people laughed and she shut up.

one of the proud moments in my high school years!

[BAC]

Hey man that's great I'm very happy for you. This is my first time posting and only like my fith time on this site. I have to say that I am soooooo happy to find this site. I feel like I'm not alone anymore. It's like you guys understand all shit I've gone through in my life: the teasing, being afraid to take my shirt off in public, and of course the failure with women. In case you haven't noticed I'm a 22 year old virgin and very very unhappy about it. So I've had zero success with women. However, I don't know if that's because I am to blame. You see I don't even try because I'm so so ashamed of my body. I know I have serious body image problems. I must say I do think women care but at least in front of us guys they will be nice (or most of them). I do wonder how much it does bother them that we have man boobs though. That's the only thing keeping me from trying to have sex. These damn things have plagued me since junior high. Junior was the worst. I remember the first time I noticed I had man boobs is when a girl that I thought was hot walked up to me and said men aren't suppose to have breast. From that moment on my life has been about me being hesitant and afraid of my man boobs. But this site is so great you guys understand that and don't look down on me that is freakin great I'm really happy I found this site

You sound alot like me, only I'm 19.  I have never so much as held hands with a girl.  My body image and self confidence are so warped that I have never asked a girl on a date.  I think my friends think I'm gay  :-/

[Quev]

Its rare that I post but I had to chime in on this one so here I am again. Apparently I'm not the only virgin in here either.     I feel like maybe I should become a priest or something. HAHA (just joking, no disrespect) I have to admit though, having this problem is like being the hunchback of notre dame. SANCTUARY!!!!!!I just turned 22 myself  :-/  Oh well, I guess all good things come to those who wait. (trying to be positive anyway)
                                           PeaCe
                                                      Quev

[zjab58]

I think there is too much pressure on guys to have sex. If a guy sleeps around it's all great, but if a girl does she's a slut. So I ask you this where are all the girls that these guys are sleeping with? Is everyone sleeping with the same group of women and then lying about how many they have had?
<can of worms now opened>
I deal with a lot of the same problems as you guys, the bad self-image, can't ask a girl out, only kissed three. SOme women understandor don't notice, and others are mean about it. It's not a group thing it's an individual thing.