As a child, I used to love swimming. Always naggign my parents to take me to beach trips, and I loved it when I got there. Swimming was passion. I joined the swim team at the age of 9, hoping to be like the big kids one day, represent my highschool as I swam in varsity tournaments.
I was always a bit chubby as a child, due to the puppy fat I had breast-like development. Nothing to worry about though, the nipples were small, it was like any other fat 4th grader. However as I grew older, I gained more and more weight, and before I knew it, I had pseudogynecomastia. Swimming was mandatory at our school (for physical education) - and I hated to go swim. Kids would make fun of me, and tease me. I hated it when we had to do stretches by the pool side, I wished we could just jump in the pool and nobody would have to see my man boobs again. My classmates taunted me, it was horrible.
I was 148 centimeters tall, yet I weighed close to 160 pounds. I ended up going on a diet, moreover I played tennis 6 days a week, 2 hours a day, in addition to regular routine of running. In the next few years, I had lost all the fat - I was finally at a normal bodyweight. Nobody teased me anymore, no more mandatory swimming lessons either. However - to my horror, something new had happened. My nipples were now larger than usual, and I still had a hint of fat around my nipples.
When I turned 17, I thought enough was enough. I started lifting weights, placing great emphasis on my chest - and to my relief my chest did start to look better. I reduced my percentage bodyfat, and my nipples did reduce a little in size - and 2 years down the line, at age 19 i had a beautiful biceps, great back, perfect shoulders, awesome tricep/shoulder development. My upper chest was cut up, i had cuts down the middle of my chest - yet, somehow my nipples still appeared 'puffy'. At first I imagined that it was because of my pseudogynecomastia that my nipples had been "stretched out" and were distoreted. However I continued to see obese men at the gym who had normal nipples - their man boobs just looked like a result of excess fat development.
One day, due to a minor illness, I took a visit to the doctor. Now, I was on vacation, and seeing this GP in Indonesia - who was checking my heartbeat, when he made a comment on my nipples. Basically what he said was "you have female hormones. you like a woman yeah?" and all of those memories from my childhood just came back rushing, and I was so embarrased. I was with my dad (God, i'm so glad my mom wasn't with me). Just a few moments ago I was masculinity personified with my bulging biceps, and broad shoulders, and my upper pecs were so nicely developed that you could barely tell that I had gyne with my shirt on, and in just these few minutes the doctor said that I had nipples like a woman.
I came home, posed in front of the mirror, and I realised that yes, something was indeed wrong. There was no residue left from the days of obesity; except for the fact that my nipples were larger than normal. I googled "puffy nipples" and it came up with a multitude of results. It was there when I learnt of gynecomastia. At first I denied that I had it, I could not believe that I could have gynecomastia, I thought that my man breast days were long gone - what was happening. One day I came across this website that taught me to feel under the nipple for breast tissue. I did, and I sure felt exactly what the website described I would. I was devastated.
I was on a rollercoaster of depression. Staying home. Not going to the gym anymore, I felt like the last two years I had spent in the gym were a waste. Sure I could wear sleevless t-shirts, and sport a V-back, but I thought that I could never take my shirt off again. I kept on denying that I had gynecomastia. It was probably one of the most difficult phases of my life.
All till I found gynecomastia.org - where I found people from all around the globe who were talking about their problems. It was then that I realized that I am not some mishap of nature who just happens to have larger than normal nipples. I realized how common Gyne actually was! I realized that I didn't have some really wierd disorder where I would be muscular all over - but soft around the nipples! There were so many of you who shared experiences that I cannot believe resembled mine so closely!
Sure surgery is expensive, but atleast now I know that options to take care of this ARE there. I tried burning off fat, tried building up muscle, all of them helped me in so many ways - but didn't cure my gyne. But now I know that I am not so different, that what I have is a case that affects many many other boys/men around the world.
I am back in the gym, working out, building up my body. I have contacted several surgeons and plan on having surgery in the one next year. I believe that the first step towards conquering this humiliation that gynecomastia imposes upon is is merely accepting that we have it. We can go on denying it, yet it will remain in our subconscience, poking at our heart. Just face it, be strong, and make your way through it.
I believe that there is hope for all of us out there. I wish all of you the best. Thank you for your all of your posts, you do not know how much your experiences have helped me gather myself together. I have finally picked up all the pieces of my life, and am ready to move on.
Peace.
Topic: There Is Hope. (Read 5531 times)
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