Body image

[Evolver]

Ahem. OK, back to topic. Regarding body image and what we think of ourselves, which is influenced by outside factors, I'm far luckier than many of you in that I had a normal puberty and playing on the skins team etc. wasn't an issue.

I felt far worse about myself in my 40's than what I do now, even though I was lighter and less pronounced. For the record I am now 176cm/5'9" and a bit, 88kg/194lb. I did blow out to 95kg/209lb a couple of years ago but I am more motivated now to up my exercise regime which I achieve through bike riding and walking. I quit jogging a few years ago due to joint pain, and blew out after that. Point is, I felt worse about myself when I was 79kg/174lb all those years ago compared to when I was 76kg/168lb before that! Obviously I was far younger then but the pressure, pressure, pressure to be strong and lean was almost unbearable. It actually had the reverse effect for me and I gained weight ever after.

Two years ago we had a family fun day at an indoor swim center/water playground joint. I somehow ended up with the duty of chasing my then 3yo granddaughter around the place, going from one piece of equipment to the other, in and out of all the pools etc, feeling horribly exposed being topless in my condition in public. Yes, I've lost weight since then, but I don't think my moobs are any smaller now (bra cups are equally filled but bands are looser). Point is, if I had that same day again now, I WOULDN'T CARE! I have learnt to love my body for what it is and I have learnt to accept what comes with it. In fact, in public now, I puff my chest out.

I still aim to lose more weight but I'm not trying to be skinny. What I take from Taryn's words is that I'm doing ok, heading in the right direction, but I won't beat myself up for not being 'ideal', whatever that is.    

[gotgyne]

She has two articles by a guest author about gynecomastia on her website.
https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey/

https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey-pt-2/

And I was the guest author. Surprise!

Wow Johndoe1! Very well written.

I'd like pointing out especially the end of part 2:

Allow my breasts to exist on my body in peace.

My philosophy is simply: “Yes world, I am a guy with boobs. Get over it.”

I think everyone of us will sign this. Maybe without Sophie, since she is no guy with boobs for the world anymore but the woman she ever was for herself. Sophie, we love you!
John

[aboywithgirls]

I think everyone of us will sign this. Maybe without Sophie, since she is no guy with boobs for the world anymore but the woman she ever was for herself. Sophie, we love you!
John

OMG! That is so sweet of you ❤️ to say! It is sooooooo ironic. As a guy, I had always felt like a woman and wanted to be "one of the girls ". Now, as a woman, I am so grateful to be "one of the guys " here, exchanging knowledge and ideas about boobs and bras. 
❤️💋👠🥰🫂🤗

Forever grateful,
❤️Sophie ❤️

[MIMAN]

I think everyone of us will sign this. Maybe without Sophie, since she is no guy with boobs for the world anymore but the woman she ever was for herself. Sophie, we love you!
John

OMG! That is so sweet of you ❤️ to say! It is sooooooo ironic. As a guy, I had always felt like a woman and wanted to be "one of the girls ". Now, as a woman, I am so grateful to be "one of the guys " here, exchanging knowledge and ideas about boobs and bras.
❤️💋👠🥰🫂🤗

Forever grateful,
❤️Sophie ❤️

I'll second that!

John

[Johndoe1]

She has two articles by a guest author about gynecomastia on her website.
https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey/

https://sophisticatednotion.com/guest-post-a-gynecomastia-journey-pt-2/

And I was the guest author. Surprise!

Wow Johndoe1! Very well written.

I'd like pointing out especially the end of part 2:

Allow my breasts to exist on my body in peace.

My philosophy is simply: “Yes world, I am a guy with boobs. Get over it.”

I think everyone of us will sign this. Maybe without Sophie, since she is no guy with boobs for the world anymore but the woman she ever was for herself. Sophie, we love you!
John

Thank you gotgyne.

I am finding as I continue this journey, that more and more people are doing that. Not everyone, but enough people that my body imagine has gotten much better. And the few people who do know (all women) have been very encouraging and I am thankful for that. Since I started treating my breasts for what they are, and in the same matter as women do, that has also helped. It's these little things combined together that has made the real difference. And it has taken me years to get to this point. I have also found that many women are just as traumatized about body imagine and their breasts are we are. They are just much more open about it.

[Orb]

Thanks JD1. 
It takes time to sort out words and comments.  Time to analyze, interpret and to shape our inner feelings.  Not everyone can get to a place of total acceptance of body image. In my own close family there is one woman who has had breast augmentation and another who has had reduction surgery.  Societal pressure and how its processed between their ears helped influence each of them to make the  change to meet personal happiness.  Granted the reduction was for a quality of life issue not outside pressure wholly. 

" Between stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space is our power to chose our response.  In our response lies our growth and freedom."  Viktor E. Frankl

[gotgyne]

All of your comments are very worth reading again and again. While doing so, I remembered that in this forum some years ago there was someone (Alchemist) who was a member of a nudist club. He stated that there was no body-shaming and no reaction to his 44DD breasts, no judging and no harassment by the other members.

Here is Alchemist's thread:

https://forum.gynecomastia.org/index.php?topic=24240.0

He wrote: "At any nudist club, one sees quite a few men with gynecomastia to some degree or another.  It’s as common and normal as the statistics indicate.  Among nudists, breasts, or lack thereof, on any body, are a complete non issue.  There are women walking around with single or double mastectomies, with various stages and types of reconstruction or none at all.  They don’t have to hide their “shame” of BREAST cancer and BREAST surgery as I have heard it expressed by some textile compulsives.  The hostility towards the body in general in this American society is huge."

I have noticed the same as an avid sauna user. Here in Germany being naked in the cabin (with only a large towel beneath the body) is mandatory. Nobody stares at my breasts. Four years ago I visited a sauna together with a female of 80 years. We were members of the same hiking club and did a very strenous hike up and down. In fact she was in better physical condition than me. Back at the hotel we used the pool and the sauna, so did the other members of the hiking club and other guests. No comment on my breasts. Not by her, nor by anyone else.
And at one of my sauna visits at another site there was a young man with an ostomy and the bag on his belly. Nobody of the other guests - including me - stared at him. Only a glimpse, than a friendly "hello" from us.

And later later in the thread: "The only women that have ever said anything to me of a hostile nature have all had small breasts and presumably a lot of body shame."

This is quite interesting. Let me tell you something else. I've had problems with the veins in my legs since beeing a teenager and have started wearing support pantyhose at that time. Not every day but on the days my legs were stressed a lot. If you've ever attended a public event (rock concert and so on), standing the whole afternoon and in the evening with swollen and very painful legs at home, you get what I mean. I wore them for more than a decade until at age 28 I had to switch to medical compression hosiery. (Later I nevertheless got four deep vein thromboses). I never dared to wear the hose in public with shorts, even in summer. This changed in 2000. Since then I wore my compression pantyhose with shorts. I've worked as a parking-lot attendant for about 10 years, always with shorts from spring to fall. There were some women who looked at me with an expression of hate in their face. I'm quite sure, that they had to wear compression stockings too but did not dare to wear them visible. This explains a lot to me. In fact I believe that often people who are very self-conscious are hostile to others who have no body shame on themselves.

John